NSW Partner's Ex Refusing Visitation until Consent Orders are in Place?

[speck1]

I hear back today if my offer for consent is accepted, but i think i already know the answer.

it was actually one i refused back in June due to one of her demands being. I cannot work when DD is in my care! Which is not possible, doesn't want me to work when i have DD, but wants all the child support!

I wrote to lawyer and accepted but not agreeing to having to NOT WORK when DD is in my company, i did add i will endeavour to take as much time off as i can when i do have her.

8 nights in school hols and one weekend a term (that's it)

Just had a call from a couple of mutual friends, apparently she lost the plot on facebook last night.
I believe she wrote

"That f..kin cu.t"
"He is play games again, mediation is suppose to be four weeks ago and the cu.t wants to play games"

"just fu.k off you c.nt"

see what i have to deal with!

 

[Hpflstpmum]

Oh dear
That sounds pretty horrendous. Unfortunately it has to just be taken on the shoulder! She's only doing herself harm, right?
Surely if you go to court, the judge will see it's unreasonable to ask you to not work while you have your daughter as that's your means of income and how else would you be able to pay child support or support your family?

 

[Hpflstpmum]

By the way AllForHer I figured out the search and gosh I can't get enough of these! It's really interesting to see how judgement is made and how it's broken down into pieces for an overall verdict.

 

[speck1]

correct Hplstpmum-but our goal is not too apply to court, but likely we will have to.
Waiting for a latter back from her lawyer, I actually spoke to him this morning and he more or less said, he will advise her to accept but can't make her.

 

[AllForHer]

Speck1, I strongly suggest you get screenshots of the Facebook comment from your ex. This will be very important evidence if your case ends up court. See Baxter & Barber [2015] FCCA 2628 (24 September 2015) at paragraphs 145-159 for an example of why I suggest you do this.

Also, it's unreasonable to request that you not work while the child is in your care, so don't ever bend on that.

The Austliii database can be accessed here: http://www.austlii.edu.au/

On the left column is a list of jurisdictions. Family law matters are governed by the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), which is federal legislation (the Cth stands for Commonwealth), so click on 'Commonwealth' in that list.

On that page, you'll see two columns. At the top is the list of courts that fall under the Commonwealth banner. Only the Federal Circuit Court and the Family Court of Australia have jurisdiction over the family law matters, so click on either of those to go the court database of decisions. They're organised by year, but you can just do a database search if you prefer, using the link at the top left that says 'Database search'.

Through the database search, you can search for keywords using a variety of formats, such as 'this phrase' when looking for 'sole parental responsibility', 'equal time', etc.

Since the Federal Circuit Court determines a lot of matters other than family law matters, you might come back with hits that are not family law cases. To work out which ones are family law matters and which aren't, look at the citation (e.g. Baxter & Barber [2015] FCCA 2628 (24 September 2015). If the names of the applicant and respondent parties is divided by an ampersand (&) and not a v, it's a family law case

Be mindful that matters that have multiple applicants and/or multiple respondents appear as X & Anor v Y & Anor, so they'll have an ampersand between the party names, but a v between the applicant/respondent names. A family law matter with multiple respondents and applicants will look like A & Anor & B & Anor. (Anor means 'another party'; and Ors means 'other parties').

In short for the Federal Circuit Court (FCCA):

Family law matter - X & Y [year] FCCA xxxx
Not a family law matter - X v Y [year] FCCA xxxx​

You can just browse the list of cases, click on them and check the Catchwords listed at the top of each case to see what the case is about. Parenting matters will obviously have the leading keyword as 'FAMILY LAW' followed by relevant catchwords to that case, such as 'children - allegations of family violence - whether unacceptable risk - where child should spend time with both parents' etc.

The Family Law Act 1975 is here: http://www5.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/ . You can click on each of the section numbers on the left to view the full section. For children's matters, Part VII will be of most relevance to you, and it would be wise to read through it so you understand what is of importance to the court.

I also strongly suggest having a browse through some of the cases. Look up the keyword phrase 'tyearanny of distance' for some cases affected by a significant distance between a parent and the child's primary residence.

 

[speck1]

Thanks - actually just thought i'd try my luck and contact a lawyer for a free hour...(i have done this twice in the last 2-years and they have given me a free hour). Most don't these days, but today they did...

I explained my case and he was quite surprised of my knowledge of the family law.

He didn't tell me anything that i didn't already know to be honest, but at least it was encouraging that he said...i will get what i ask for with interim orders and a court would be very angry with some of the info i showed him

BUT he told me how court is costly etc....but said if i initiate after mediation as he expects it to fail, form that time to interim orders hearing after a couple of visits to him and everything else it will be 3K.

I was a bit shocked as i was allowing 1K, $550 for initiating and a few other expenses along the way.

He said, "don't think you HAVE to stick to your offers or even do mediation if you don't think it's gong to work", and if i am not going to pay the 3K and get interim orders, i am better off doing what i am doing and offering consent orders for her to sign.

He was shocked with her request for me not to work when the child is in our care.

 

[AllForHer]

I think your case is simple, being made complicated by a difficult ex, so realistically, you can self-represent through the interim hearings and negotiate later when push is coming to shove and the cost pressure is on her, too. As I've said before, 95% of cases initiated in the court end up settling by consent, rather than by trial. Judges don't hold back on giving a firm dressing down during an interim hearing as a way of persuading the parties to negotiate an agreement rather than going to trial. It's a very powerful motivator, even for the most stubborn of ex partners.

 

[speck1]

I have heard that so many times All For Her. What is this $3,000 that today's lawyer was saying?

I just got an e-mail back...everything agreed on, but my ex wants me to take three of the six week (school hols) off so i can ALWAYS be there when she is in mt care, ridiculous.

Getting closer, but why wouldn't her lawyer tell her its ridiculous?

 

[AllForHer]

The $3000 will be some filing fees, but mostly just paying for the lawyer's time and expertise. It may seem an unreasonable cost, but they're probably still funding a $30,000 HECS debt for the law degree.

Regarding taking leave, that's ridiculous, and I would wager her lawyer has told her the same, but unfortunately, no matter what advice they give, they still have to follow their client's instructions. What concession is she making for that demand? Is she going to pay your wages for that three weeks of leave? Is she taking leave for all the time the child is in her care?

 

[speck1]

I know it is ridiculous! But i cannot afford court. I am awaiting an e-mail from her lawyer reconsidering and signing off on agreement so he can make it into consent.
Horrible person!