My partner and his ex have finalised their divorce and after a very messy process, ended up in family court and now have Consent Orders in place. However, it's been several months since the consent orders have been in effect and each organised visitation has become harder and harder for my partner.
I have some questions about what his legal rights are in this situation but first some background on what is happening.
His children are a girl, 4 and boy, 9. And the consent order allows him to have them a weekend every fortnight and for 2 hours on one week night on the alternate week he doesn't have them. Next year, he will have them for the whole night (sleepover) on that midweek visit. But the boy has refused to go with my partner the last 3 weeks. And the girl will often follow suit. Sometimes they refuse to go with him on the Friday night but he will receive a message on the Saturday morning saying to come pick them up at midday.
The last weekend, he was supposed to have them, only his daughter went with him. The son refused to come out of the house to see him and the message was passed on from the mother and her partner that he hates him and wanted my partner to apologise for all the damage he has done to the family since the divorce.
Then this past Friday, when he was supposed to have them again, he received a message to say as it was his daughter's birthday that day, his ex was having celebrations for her and he wouldn't be able to collect the children until midday the following day. When he turned up, he found they were in the middle of the daughter's birthday party and of course the children refused to go with him and a fuss was made by his ex's partner in front of everyone.
In addition to all the custody of children issues, we are both receiving messages of abuse from his ex. Her partner comes out of the house to abuse my partner verbally upon pick up of the children. My partner takes his father with him to ensure nothing happens or at least have a witness to it but he has been threatened physically and her partner refers to the children as his own and they call him daddy, with their mother's encouragement.
In these circumstances where the court proceedings have been finalised and a court order is in place, how does my partner ensure the order is enforced? He is desperate to see his children and it breaks his heart, as well as mine and his family's, that this is happening to him. Financially, he could afford to go back to court, although he would have to borrow money again to do so. But what would it achieve?
His ex is not specifically denying access to the children, although we assume she is coaching them to say things to my partner and to refuse to go. He can't force them to go if they don't want to. And they have been told by her that my partner has stolen money from his son, their family and that our relationship broke up their family - even though I didn't start seeing him until 6 months after he had moved out, and she already had a partner and one month later announced her engagement to him (before the divorce was even filed) and that she was pregnant.
So with this information in their head, or more specifically his son's head, they wants nothing to do with him or me. He has no phone contact with them even though his mother bought him a phone last Christmas. The son refuses to take his calls although when he is in the custody of my partner the boy is asked by his mother to have his phone on until 6pm (the consent order specifies no contact after that time). This causes stress for the boy as she calls him to grill him on who is there and if there have been any disputes while in his fathers care.
My partner is that nervous about it and concerned for his son that I no longer see them on those visits and don't have any contact with them anymore (he stays with his mother when he has them).
My other question is, how do we deal with the messages of abuse. I receive text messages from her and Facebook messages from fake accounts. He gets messages via text and email. She posts things on Facebook about him that are false and defaming his character and mutual friends have alerted us to this. Have spoken to the police but the messages aren't coming often enough to warrant as harrassment. Is there any legal action that can be taken given these circumstances?
Also if he doesn't see them, even though he has been trying, how does that affect his child support payments?
We are so frustrated by this whole process and feel he has so little rights when it comes to his children. It's very upsetting and I worry for him as he takes it very hard each time something happens and having to go through it once a week is putting strain on him and that affects his mental health and relationships with me and his family.
Apologies for the excess of detail but wanted to provide a full picture of what was happening. His ex has been so difficult throughout the whole process and I don't foresee how things will ever be any easier. My partner is close to giving up hope of seeing his children regularly. He is supposed to have them in the upcoming summer holidays but who knows what will happen. Life is hard to plan these days as things are so fraught and uncertain for him.
Any help on how to proceed from here would be much appreciated.
I have some questions about what his legal rights are in this situation but first some background on what is happening.
His children are a girl, 4 and boy, 9. And the consent order allows him to have them a weekend every fortnight and for 2 hours on one week night on the alternate week he doesn't have them. Next year, he will have them for the whole night (sleepover) on that midweek visit. But the boy has refused to go with my partner the last 3 weeks. And the girl will often follow suit. Sometimes they refuse to go with him on the Friday night but he will receive a message on the Saturday morning saying to come pick them up at midday.
The last weekend, he was supposed to have them, only his daughter went with him. The son refused to come out of the house to see him and the message was passed on from the mother and her partner that he hates him and wanted my partner to apologise for all the damage he has done to the family since the divorce.
Then this past Friday, when he was supposed to have them again, he received a message to say as it was his daughter's birthday that day, his ex was having celebrations for her and he wouldn't be able to collect the children until midday the following day. When he turned up, he found they were in the middle of the daughter's birthday party and of course the children refused to go with him and a fuss was made by his ex's partner in front of everyone.
In addition to all the custody of children issues, we are both receiving messages of abuse from his ex. Her partner comes out of the house to abuse my partner verbally upon pick up of the children. My partner takes his father with him to ensure nothing happens or at least have a witness to it but he has been threatened physically and her partner refers to the children as his own and they call him daddy, with their mother's encouragement.
In these circumstances where the court proceedings have been finalised and a court order is in place, how does my partner ensure the order is enforced? He is desperate to see his children and it breaks his heart, as well as mine and his family's, that this is happening to him. Financially, he could afford to go back to court, although he would have to borrow money again to do so. But what would it achieve?
His ex is not specifically denying access to the children, although we assume she is coaching them to say things to my partner and to refuse to go. He can't force them to go if they don't want to. And they have been told by her that my partner has stolen money from his son, their family and that our relationship broke up their family - even though I didn't start seeing him until 6 months after he had moved out, and she already had a partner and one month later announced her engagement to him (before the divorce was even filed) and that she was pregnant.
So with this information in their head, or more specifically his son's head, they wants nothing to do with him or me. He has no phone contact with them even though his mother bought him a phone last Christmas. The son refuses to take his calls although when he is in the custody of my partner the boy is asked by his mother to have his phone on until 6pm (the consent order specifies no contact after that time). This causes stress for the boy as she calls him to grill him on who is there and if there have been any disputes while in his fathers care.
My partner is that nervous about it and concerned for his son that I no longer see them on those visits and don't have any contact with them anymore (he stays with his mother when he has them).
My other question is, how do we deal with the messages of abuse. I receive text messages from her and Facebook messages from fake accounts. He gets messages via text and email. She posts things on Facebook about him that are false and defaming his character and mutual friends have alerted us to this. Have spoken to the police but the messages aren't coming often enough to warrant as harrassment. Is there any legal action that can be taken given these circumstances?
Also if he doesn't see them, even though he has been trying, how does that affect his child support payments?
We are so frustrated by this whole process and feel he has so little rights when it comes to his children. It's very upsetting and I worry for him as he takes it very hard each time something happens and having to go through it once a week is putting strain on him and that affects his mental health and relationships with me and his family.
Apologies for the excess of detail but wanted to provide a full picture of what was happening. His ex has been so difficult throughout the whole process and I don't foresee how things will ever be any easier. My partner is close to giving up hope of seeing his children regularly. He is supposed to have them in the upcoming summer holidays but who knows what will happen. Life is hard to plan these days as things are so fraught and uncertain for him.
Any help on how to proceed from here would be much appreciated.
