NSW Mother Attempts to Discredit Father - Family Court?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Philly2020, 6 June 2019.

  1. Philly2020

    Philly2020 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    27 April 2018
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    4
    I have mentioned this is not my matter before the courts. I am pretty much helpless and can on
    This is definitely not the case. I am not even a part of these proceedings, I am a bystander when it comes to anything to do with the property and financials. The father was given legal advice to finalise settlement first. Again i think the fathers solicitor failed to see how uncooperative the mother would be, purely for the fun of it. And by fun, i mean she thoroughly enjoys the drama of it all. The conciliation conference has been put back for almost 12 months due to no fault of the father, the first 2 times the mother made up excuses to have it adjourned, the third time the fathers solicitor was on annual leave (her sister lost her battle with cancer) and this last time it was administratively adjourned by the courts. Not his fault. If he knew it was going to take this long he would have instead the child matters be dealt with. May i add that each time it gets set for conciliation, there usually a 3-5 month wait... we've attempted to have the matter moved to Parramatta to obtain a closer date, no luck. He has made several very fair and reasonable offers which she has refused (yes there will be a costs order sought), and now it is only 8 weeks before the next CC, it would be kinda silly to put it on old again to address child matters when we could not argue that the child is in 'immediate danger'.... we have looked into this. We've looked at withholding the child but then he would miss out on school. Believe me, this child's best interests are in both of our hearts. It's just one of those things.
     
  2. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    27 September 2015
    Messages:
    3,515
    Likes Received:
    507
    Forget moving to Parramatta. I wish I could find a source - But I've picked up somewhere that it is one of the busiest, hence one of the slowest.

    Like I said, I think the solicitor was well intentioned in doing assets first. Often once the heat of that battle is over, the conflict over the kids simmers down a bit. I hope that happens here. And you're right, asking to prioritise kids at this point is only gonna delay things.

    In my opinion witholding the child is a bad idea unless you have a reputable 3rd party direct you to do so. That third party needs to be a Doc's case worker or similar. What you guys have said is that mum is a nutter and I have no doubt that her parenting skills could do with some work. While I absolutely hate what I'm going to say - the reality is until the kid rocks up to school with a few used drug needles, bruises, filthy clothing the authorities will not be getting involved and you wont have good ground for witholding.

    I reckon you guys just need to keep going within the courts and do your best to stay sane
     
    Philly2020 likes this.
  3. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7 June 2019
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    17
    Hey there Philly, I’m not in your state so my suggestions may not be worthy.
    I don’t know how much the father pays for his solicitor which in my case made a huge difference.

    I’m not sure how this works in your state, but here if you file a contravention order, this would go to court and the Interim Orders would be changed due to why you have filed the contravention order.

    My Interim Orders changed so many times I can’t remember.
    So here the Interim Order you originally received does not mean that’s how it is until the Final Orders, it took 4yrs for the Final Hearing for me in my state.

    You could file a contravention order regarding any issues you have with what is on the Interim Order explaining:
    drop off, pick up, mother late, txt messages, whatever the mother is not doing that is specified on the orders.

    You can ask for the phone contact be changed. Explain the mother does not have the child ring the father and the mother has said the father needs to ring, even then she will not answer the phone and when she does the child is on loud speaker etc. This may show the mother as alienating, that is definitely not excepted, in my state, I can’t see why that would be any different for your state.

    One important issue is this affects the child and fathers communication.

    I asked for the father, myself and my children to be seen with a forensic family psychiatrist. Here you are watched how the children interact with both parents.

    This worked in my favour, this showed that my children were comfortable to be themselves whilst in my company.
    Then in the fathers company my children were stand offish and hesitated to say and do what children do.

    The other information that was noted is the father is only seeing the children because of his hatred towards me.

    The other information noted was because of the fathers behaviour towards my children, this was effecting me, the prime carer and because the effect on me this was not healthy for my children.

    My children were 4 and just over 5 yrs old at the time. I needed to pay for this, so I don’t know the fathers financial situation.

    As I said earlier the Interim Orders are like Learners Plates. The Interim Orders are a good indication for the outcome of Final Orders. The Interim Orders show what and what doesn’t work.

    I was also being stalked, cameras all over the house. Terrible situation for the children.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  4. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7 June 2019
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    17
    Hey there Sammy01, the other issue is the children, as in my case, when they would see the father physically abuse me and other people they accept that to be normal. The unacceptable behaviour will rub off to this child and who knows what the child may do without realising this is wrong, the mother does have a newborn. So in my opinion I would try my hardest to resolve the family matter before the property matter.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7 June 2019
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    17
    Sammy01, so what are your thoughts, I would be interested to know.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7 June 2019
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    17
    Sammy01, are you still peed because of our differences yesterday??
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7 June 2019
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    17
    Sammy01, even though we don’t know each other, I have tried reach out. Because you are interested in Law I will suggest to you, you would not make a great debate/argument, as you have displayed what you do when someone does not agree with you. What a shame Sammy01.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. Hummingbird

    Hummingbird Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    1 August 2018
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    7

    Unfortunately lawyers will usually recommend a course of action, same as most judges, which assumes both parties are somewhat reasonable and may be able to avoid the time, cost and resources of a judge/court system by delaying trials and forcing multiple mediations and reports. We are in the same boat in that our partners are seeking a reasonable outcome but the mothers are making unreasonable demands and causing unnecessary conflict and hardship, affecting the children. In your case, the mother is next level coocoo for coco puffs. Mine has blocked access multiple times for months at a time before moving out of state without notice and making false allegations, however is not engaging in communication warfare like yours.. Parramatta is also our court, and our process has also been frustratingly slow.

    In your case it seems things have occurred during the interim orders that may be valid reasons to modify them immediately. Namely the safety of the child. The two concerns I have with what you've stated the mother has been up to are the violence the child has been exposed and witness to, and the psychological harm it seems she is inflicting. The assaults you mentioned would prompt me to seek immediate legal advice in regard to obtaining emergency custody, with mention of possible psychological instability. The psychological instability may be able to be demonstrated in the harrassment your partner receives by way of constant, intrusive texts/emails/calls whatever she is doing, and the hostile nature of them (something to consider - go grey rock on her or advise that partner will file for harrassment if she does not desist and communicate only on necessary issues regarding the child and only in the form of an email once per day maximum with a phone call or text, whatever you prefer, in case of emergency. You can also try to include this in a modification, including evidence of the harrassing texts and any police reports filed for them.). It can also be demonstrated by any documented evidence (like a written journal you keep with dates and the record of what was said), of what the child is saying to you unprompted about the mothers behaviour, whether it is constant interrogation by her, derogatory comments about you or your partner, anything where she tries to manipulate the child or alienate them or makes simply delusional/ crazy statements. If her behaviour constitutes harrassment and you decide to try for some police/AVO type enforcement make sure you have documentation and this can be used to attempt to modify current orders if you feel you need to do so.

    In the meantime, continue to abide by the interim orders and breach her whenever she contravenes. The advice you might get is to build up a list of several breaches of court orders before filing them in court, and that is up to you. But when communicating with the mother, if she requests or try to demands any change to what the orders say when making arrangements, you can make up a formulated response and simply cut and paste it whenever she tries anything. Something like 'This goes against the court order, I will be following the directions in the order set by the judge and you will be considered in contravention of the orders if you [take whatever action is in contravention].' Same with communication. Decide what form you want communication to be in and let her know, then stick to it. If you will only communicate once per day via email, or something like myfamilywizard, or text, tell her so. Leave a text or phone call in emergencies only in there as well. Then whenever she tries to go outside that either ignore it or again have a canned response that is polite but reinforces the boundary. "As discussed earlier all communication is through email only" or something if you feel the need to respond at all will do. Legally she cannot expect a response to every text and has no realistic chance of trying to argue lack of coparenting if she is harrassing with 26 texts per day calling people names.
     
    Philly2020 and Alert like this.
  9. Alert

    Alert Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    7 June 2019
    Messages:
    243
    Likes Received:
    17
    Hi Hummingbird, you mentioned you are dealing with a “case” which one??

    I was in the hard basket for 4yrs if you want any suggestions.

    Cheers
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  10. Hummingbird

    Hummingbird Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    1 August 2018
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    7

    Oh I'm not a lawyer or anything but my partner is involved in a custody case with his ex who moved interstate whilst refusing to participate in mediation. We're waiting to hear back on the last family report, then we can finally go to trial and sort out final orders. Its been a 2 year process involving parental alienation, 3x attempts by my partner at private mediation. We finally got interim orders Feb last year but after 2x failed court ordered mediations, one report where our alienation concerns weren't mentioned but the mothers allegation that the daughter is being harmed by sleeping in the dark was worth a mention, my partner is not optimistic about his chances as either the mother is allowed to stay in her state with the child and he is relegated to holidays, or the daughter is ordered back with us in which case she would be the holiday parent. We have been trying for 50/50 the whole time and seek the same if the mother does at any time return to her daughters home state. I am choosing to be optimistic as we have stability, a baby brother she should get to know, and have always abided by orders and been encouraging co-parenting communication. We also have LOTS of evidence of the mothers choices that go directly against the daughters best interests and her attempts to destroy the daughters relationship with her father. We'll see!
     
Loading...

Share This Page

Loading...
gt;