VIC Visitation Arrangement - please help

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by apollocurtin, 14 August 2019.

  1. apollocurtin

    apollocurtin Member

    Joined:
    14 August 2019
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have currently stopped my daughter from staying overnight at her dads house due to concerns for her welfare (1 year old). Her dad has minimal involvement in her life (just moved 1 hour away) and due to the condition of my daughter upon pick ups (hungry, tired (so overtired she cries all the way home until she throws up on herself and falls asleep) and dirty, I made the decision to stop overnight access. My ex partner has a 4 year old from a previous relationship and has admitted to me that he struggles looking after both children and as a result my daughter does not sleep, eat or be dressed properly (no socks outside in the middle of winter) in his care. I emailed my ex partner and explained my concerns and that I wanted to sit down with our parents to discuss visitation, there are no current court orders in place but at this stage I am not comfortable arranging anything without third party presence and advice due to my concerns. It has now been 2 weeks and my ex partner is not agreeing to meet and make any arrangements, he just keeps sending me emails saying "24 hours notice and i will pick her up, when can she see her dad?". I am becoming deeply concerned that if this proceeds to court that I will be painted as withholding our child from him even though I am trying to arrange a meeting to discuss his visitation. Please note: He is very difficult to communicate with, I am not comfortable meeting him alone or discussing visitation by phone or email as we need an arrangement written out and witnessed for him to stick to it. There are no parenting orders in place or mediation... he is currently going through mediation with the mother of his first child to change court orders.
     
  2. Atticus

    Atticus Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    6 February 2019
    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    49
    An hour away is not actually that far & normally not a concern, BUT, the age of the child is an added challenge... The consensus for under 2 year olds seems to be that it is a crucial time to establish relationships & trust.. Short but frequent visits is recommended in both environments & ideally daytime sleeps.. The idea being the child settles into a familiar environment over time... That may or may not be contributing to the stress you describe as all children are different...

    The nub of it is, if you want the child to grow up healthy & happy, physically & mentally, then you may have to stop stressing over the things that are not significant in the big picture such as different parenting styles for example, & concentrate on establishing that crucial relationship. A kids not going to suffer long term harm from no socks or eating a bit of dirt, but may suffer significant emotional harm by being denied contact with a parent...

    You need to call an accredited mediation service ASAP to hopefully sort out a strategy, & that will probably involve both parents making compromises & sacrifices... That 's part of being parent, together or separated.. In the meantime maybe endeavor to at least let the child spend time with dad even if not overnight... Children this age need it
     
Loading...

Share This Page

Loading...
gt;