Thanks for the help.
Yea would love to do that all though she is one very tough women.
I've tried similar earlier last year.
She started calling every man and dog. People came over I didn't even know abusing me.
She said I was abusing her fancialy and she is in fear of her life every time she gets home.
Spoke to police and they said I can't throw her out. One I spoke to understood what was going on but said be very careful as your risking police taking you away if she is believed by anyone. That occassion he didn't believe her but said don't think another police officer won't.
She knows how to street fight so to speak with the system.
She won't just lay down and go away.
If I changed locks she would have her rough friends around and kick her way in. I discussed this option. Police said they couldn't charge her if she did as its her house also. It's no longer my house we are in defacto relationship with a child.
This all said I'm still going to throw your ideas around and look into more. I'm not discounting anything at moment.
There are accommodations for both men and women and as you would be taking your daughter with you, then you would be placed in a family accommodation rather than a men's only or a female only shelter or accommodation. However, all accommodation location must be kept secret and the process is that you will be appointed a person who would either pick you up or phoned at the very last minute where to go.
The first criteria is that you cannot be located within the same city, township of the perpetrator/s and not until your case is heard, will you be able to go to any place where you usually would go including work nor would your child be able to attend her normal day centre etc. This is not only for your protection, your daughter's protection but also other person's protection who May be in hiding from Domestic Violence.
Police must assist and follow up on any Domestic Violence complaint whether the person attends the station or if called out to a location ( not necessarily a place of residence nor does it have to be you . It could be a neighbour etc) and suddenly someone doesn't want to place charges or makes some excuse that he/ she didn't mean it, or that everything is ok or even deny - the police have the power to judge and observe what has gone on and charge, make arrest, etc. including false allocations, take a child out of a volatile situation etc.
You are not the only one who has come across or gone to the police regarding Domestic Violence and met a police person who gives you a hard time, smart comment, feel as if they don't believe you especially if you do not have any mark and phoning is worse. I, myself, was told by a policeman if I want to make a complaint then come down to the station. I was unable to move! Let alone drive. Had they said or I had known back then that you can request police to come over or they suggested they could send someone out then I would have said yes, please.
However, I still would not have been able to go downstairs, yell out nothing. A known person to me several more days later rang and instantly picked up that something was wrong and told me to call the police. I did and received a female police officer who asked me over the phone why am I ringing now after 10-day? Why didn't I come to the station?
Nothing much they can do and it's a waste of time especially if I have any bodily harm that could be photographed as after 10 days there would be nothing , did I go to a doctor or hospital? Have witnesses? Blah! Blah!
With an attitude ' you're a waste of time and my time! I then rang back my friend that I had phone police and what they said ( as she said she would phone police if I didn't. ) The known person to me came straight over after telling me she will take me to the police station herself and go with me. So she did!
My friend helped me through the ability to say what occurred but the most surprising thing to them and every worker at that station including the photographer was from head to toe my bruising, swelling ( no open wounds) after 10-11 days could be easily photographed from a distance. 3-4 weeks later, an interstate friend convinced me to see a doctor in-state what occurred, still swelling, nerve damage, bruising could be checked out and know I would not have thought to go to police or doctors. Didn't cross my mind and mentally still in shock. ( now nerve damage to right side of face and eye etc is permanent). And at that time, he was on a permanent 2-year DVO as they use to be called, not allowed to come near me, etc., but Family Court Orders override AVOs, DVOs so he had the 4 children at the time ( aged 1, 9, 11 n 13) but had left them to do this and I had the flu badly and was also traumatising, physically and verbally abusing them in ways that have damaged them for life. But they were too frighten to tell me or anyone.
Even to this day, the worst was sexual abuse which my eldest daughter at 17 had a mental breakdown, told a doctor. This occurred and what he also sexually done to our 1-year-old let alone our 2 sons.
So my point is this, don't give a damn what the attitude of the police are, know your rights, which is equal to any person. Plenty of men are physically, mentally, and verbally abused as women are and have the same rights and the law applies to all persons! Even police male and females are victims of abuse in relationships, as children, etc. it doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter what job position you're in including financially , race, age, etc.
The Law and your rights apply to and equal to everyone. The only people who have a much harder, more difficult ability to seek help, obtain Legal Advice let alone have extreme difficulties ( let alone obtain protection but still equally have them like anyone else) are people who have disabilities whereby they have difficulties verbally, physically as they can't write, get to places by themselves as they have a much harder time to get assistance, support, let alone fight for the protection and custody of their children let alone financially. Worse than this is children themselves who are experiencing domestic violence.
Unless you have either a disability that stops you verbally, physically from seeking help, assistance and care for yourself and your daughter which it appears you do not, then remember, know your rights! Don't give up! Don't be disillusioned by supposed persons whose job is to assist you, especially gov. services that give you the runaround or don't know their job nor give a hoot. It all comes down to you.
Just don't give up! You and your little daughter deserve not to be victimised by your circumstances and if your partner wants to continue pill popping that's her life. That's her choice. It definitely is not your daughter's choice nor yours. And as previously said in my post, this is just the beginning of a gut-wretching emotional and mental rollercoaster that unless you are willing to go to gov. sites and educate yourself about laws, rights , court procedures, advice as to where you can get info including printing off firms and lodging them etc., so it will give you more knowledge and understanding then you will, at least, feel more in control and you will get a fair idea of how long some processes take and also hints to get them faster through the process.
You do not have control over time nor court proceedings or outcomes. This is just the beginning. Nothing seems fast enough ever! So take it in your own stride. If you do want to stay in your home then obtain an AVO, a Restraining Order for both of you and your daughter, so she can't just pick up the child from daycare or come near her or you nor the house till it's taken to court.
If you are worried about her getting her heavy duty dudes and family on to you and causing trouble, report them all and police will advise you once you give their names, to place also an AVO or Restraining Order. This all seems over the top to you as you just want out and stay in the house with the care of your child, handled quietly without any trouble.
Well, forget that notion. Stop dreaming. Stop worrying and fearing the unknown. Face reality and facts, especially regarding the mother. Who knows ... This may be just the wake up cal your partner needs to get herself off the pill popping existence and your hope that she does will come true.
Anything is possible. The choice is yours, but please remember, the life and lifestyle you and your partner have created is not a healthy, good environment for your daughter. Be your child's hero and remove her from this unhealthy environment as you know you can do it. If not, you're equally at fault as your pill-popping partner in not providing a secure, loving , safe and healthy environment for your little innocent daughter who's depending on her Daddy as her protector and carer.
Take care of yourself and see counselling even if you have to go through 10 to get the right one who will help you stay mentally strong. You need a break. Whether by yourself or with your daughter, go rent or get a tent and camp near a beach , or wherever you can find solitude and peace of mind. Relax and mentally forget everything even if it's just for a few days.
