WA Family Law and Separation - Where to Start?
- Thread starter babyfirst
- Start date
Thanks for advice.
Yea would love to do that all though she is one very tough women.
I've tried similar earlier last year.
She started calling every man and dog. People came over I didn't even know abusing me.
She said I was abusing her fancialy and she is in fear of her life every time she gets home.
Spoke to police and they said I can't throw her out. One I spoke to understood what was going on but said be very careful as your risking police taking you away if she is believed by anyone. That occassion he didn't believe her but said don't think another police officer won't.
She knows how to street fight so to speak with the system.
She won't just lay down and go away.
If I changed locks she would have her rough friends around and kick her way in. I discussed this option. Police said they couldn't charge her if she did as its her house also. It's no longer my house we are in defacto relationship with a child.
This all said I'm still going to throw your ideas around and look into more. I'm not discounting anything at moment.
Yea would love to do that all though she is one very tough women.
I've tried similar earlier last year.
She started calling every man and dog. People came over I didn't even know abusing me.
She said I was abusing her fancialy and she is in fear of her life every time she gets home.
Spoke to police and they said I can't throw her out. One I spoke to understood what was going on but said be very careful as your risking police taking you away if she is believed by anyone. That occassion he didn't believe her but said don't think another police officer won't.
She knows how to street fight so to speak with the system.
She won't just lay down and go away.
If I changed locks she would have her rough friends around and kick her way in. I discussed this option. Police said they couldn't charge her if she did as its her house also. It's no longer my house we are in defacto relationship with a child.
This all said I'm still going to throw your ideas around and look into more. I'm not discounting anything at moment.
I forgot to mention. One thing all lawyers I've seen have agreed on. (3 family lawyers and one very expensive senior council)
Will have no problem getting exemption from medication. This is due to her history of abusing people and threatening people in public. Many of which are documented. Banned from many places.
This is evidence that meaningful mediation will not be possible.
Try senior council said I might get urgent hearing but not to bank on it. Depends what other things they have going on at time in the courts.
Another lawyer said I would and may even hey hearing same day lodged.
The courts stay open late here for those cases.
She gave example lodge in morning and may even be in court 7pm that night.
Will have no problem getting exemption from medication. This is due to her history of abusing people and threatening people in public. Many of which are documented. Banned from many places.
This is evidence that meaningful mediation will not be possible.
Try senior council said I might get urgent hearing but not to bank on it. Depends what other things they have going on at time in the courts.
Another lawyer said I would and may even hey hearing same day lodged.
The courts stay open late here for those cases.
She gave example lodge in morning and may even be in court 7pm that night.
Thanks for all the info.
Yeah, might try and get counselling myself.
Spoke to her main doctor (she doctor shops). He cut her off narcotic type meds for a while but is now prescribing them again.
She was admitted to mental facIlity. She was out in 3 days. I don't think they believed me with what was going on.
Resources are limited here.
Lots of people are addicted to prescription drugs. They have bigger problems on ther hands.
You want out of the relationship with this woman and take your child with you, is the bottom line.
The child belongs to both of you and so does the house and everything you both have including finances, superannuation, etc. because in a de facto relationship - after 6 months of living as a couple all assets in the eyes of the law is seen as combined ownership.
She, as the mother, has the same rights to see and have contact with the child as you do. I know you are frightened of her and her ability to bring in the heavy dudes when she needs them. You've stated she is a doctor shopper, been charged for fraud due to using a different name in order to obtain meds she is addicted to. She has been flagged by the GPs so anywhere she goes including hospital under her real name will know this.
I am new to this site so I don't know whether I'm allowed to ask questions so what I will say is this: if she is still on these meds, how is she getting them unless she has friends who obtain these meds for her by seeing a GP themselves, receiving them thru the Internet, black market, stealing, etc., whatever the case may be.
So either she is still on them or she is not. You, yourself, cannot admit her to a rehab program. She can be admitted if a doctor convinces her to attend a rehab program. Other than this my previous recommendation of different methods to admit her into a mental Health facility still stands.
The moment she is self-harming or threatens to harm you or your daughter, says she is going to commit suicide, acting bizarrely, call the Ambos who will come out and if they think she needs to go to the hospital she can not refuse and the ambos will call police if she refuses which she will then be taken to PECS an emergency Mental Health Assessment unit who will assess her state and stable her if necessary.
You would have to inform ambos of her history of prescription drugs, behaviourisms, etc.Get a 'STAT DEC' fill it in and if you have anyone else who knows and has witnessed her behaviour, etc., get them to fill out a Stat Dec as well and state your fear, risk of harm to herself, the child due to her addiction, state of mind, behaviour etc.
Take along any evidence you have pertaining to her doctor shopping,medication abuse, including why ur unable to leave the child with her, how fearful the child is of her and take it to a Justice of the Peace as explained in the previous note. Again you should give a full history and all evidence of fraud, drug abuse, behaviourism as discribed in your post. During this 72 hour held period that she is deemed unstable then she will be placed n held within the mental health unit on an ITO - Involuntary Treatment Order which means she can not leave at all. She will then receive help.
However, the question anyone would ask of you is why after all these years have you not done anything about this before. A judge may even ask why you have put in place supervised child care as she was unfit to care for your child herself, maintained the household and work commitments previously and now as the child is at daycare during the day, and you still maintain the house and care of your child along with the care of your de facto, even though she posed a safety risk to your child and yourself and claim she still does but have not applied for an AVO, Restraining Order or Sole Custody of your child till now.
What changes have occurred for you to now apart from the fact your totally over it all! There are men's Domestic Violence helplines, Domestic Violence assistance for you and your child, safe housing you will be placed in so she never knows where you and your child is and every assistance and support will be given to you including a place to set you both up. Going to work will jeopardise your safety and whereabouts. Hence, why you wouldn't be able to return to work but, at least, the safety house supplied will not cost you anything.
If you opt to go into hiding, but this process will speed up your case thru the courts with assists of highly trained/ knowledgeable staff. If none of the above is what you want to do. Then you will have to wait your moment till she goes on a threatening or abusive rant and call the police! Call the Ambos when she is self-harming to be taken to Mental Health Emergency PECS!
What do you fear the worse that would happen if you took out an AVO placing your child's name on the order, a Restraining Order placing your child's name under the order, remaining in your home with your child making the home as secure as possible and calling the police every time she and her mates came around.
Why have you not involved Child's Protection Services against her?
The child belongs to both of you and so does the house and everything you both have including finances, superannuation, etc. because in a de facto relationship - after 6 months of living as a couple all assets in the eyes of the law is seen as combined ownership.
She, as the mother, has the same rights to see and have contact with the child as you do. I know you are frightened of her and her ability to bring in the heavy dudes when she needs them. You've stated she is a doctor shopper, been charged for fraud due to using a different name in order to obtain meds she is addicted to. She has been flagged by the GPs so anywhere she goes including hospital under her real name will know this.
I am new to this site so I don't know whether I'm allowed to ask questions so what I will say is this: if she is still on these meds, how is she getting them unless she has friends who obtain these meds for her by seeing a GP themselves, receiving them thru the Internet, black market, stealing, etc., whatever the case may be.
So either she is still on them or she is not. You, yourself, cannot admit her to a rehab program. She can be admitted if a doctor convinces her to attend a rehab program. Other than this my previous recommendation of different methods to admit her into a mental Health facility still stands.
The moment she is self-harming or threatens to harm you or your daughter, says she is going to commit suicide, acting bizarrely, call the Ambos who will come out and if they think she needs to go to the hospital she can not refuse and the ambos will call police if she refuses which she will then be taken to PECS an emergency Mental Health Assessment unit who will assess her state and stable her if necessary.
You would have to inform ambos of her history of prescription drugs, behaviourisms, etc.Get a 'STAT DEC' fill it in and if you have anyone else who knows and has witnessed her behaviour, etc., get them to fill out a Stat Dec as well and state your fear, risk of harm to herself, the child due to her addiction, state of mind, behaviour etc.
Take along any evidence you have pertaining to her doctor shopping,medication abuse, including why ur unable to leave the child with her, how fearful the child is of her and take it to a Justice of the Peace as explained in the previous note. Again you should give a full history and all evidence of fraud, drug abuse, behaviourism as discribed in your post. During this 72 hour held period that she is deemed unstable then she will be placed n held within the mental health unit on an ITO - Involuntary Treatment Order which means she can not leave at all. She will then receive help.
However, the question anyone would ask of you is why after all these years have you not done anything about this before. A judge may even ask why you have put in place supervised child care as she was unfit to care for your child herself, maintained the household and work commitments previously and now as the child is at daycare during the day, and you still maintain the house and care of your child along with the care of your de facto, even though she posed a safety risk to your child and yourself and claim she still does but have not applied for an AVO, Restraining Order or Sole Custody of your child till now.
What changes have occurred for you to now apart from the fact your totally over it all! There are men's Domestic Violence helplines, Domestic Violence assistance for you and your child, safe housing you will be placed in so she never knows where you and your child is and every assistance and support will be given to you including a place to set you both up. Going to work will jeopardise your safety and whereabouts. Hence, why you wouldn't be able to return to work but, at least, the safety house supplied will not cost you anything.
If you opt to go into hiding, but this process will speed up your case thru the courts with assists of highly trained/ knowledgeable staff. If none of the above is what you want to do. Then you will have to wait your moment till she goes on a threatening or abusive rant and call the police! Call the Ambos when she is self-harming to be taken to Mental Health Emergency PECS!
What do you fear the worse that would happen if you took out an AVO placing your child's name on the order, a Restraining Order placing your child's name under the order, remaining in your home with your child making the home as secure as possible and calling the police every time she and her mates came around.
Why have you not involved Child's Protection Services against her?
Your response is perfectly normal and I would ask same questions if I hadn't been in the situation myself.
Changing locks and throwing her out is good on the movies but doesn't work in real life.
Being rushed off into a safe house again is he Hollywood.
I need a realistic plan with safeguards in the place where I can resume working and dropping my daughter to daycare. I need to do so through the family court.
You can't negotiate with a drug addict who is also very educated calculating and manipulative.
- Doctor shopping - the system is broken. No controls or checks for Valium, serepax, temaxapam, lorazepam, many others. Even a listed doctor shopper can obtain all of these from 10 doctors in one day without triggering any alarms. To be listed as a doctor shopper (which she hasn't formally) is next to impossible. That said many local hospitals have her listed on there own records as displaying narcotic seeking behaviour. They don't share information. This I have seen. If she goes to a fresh hospital they seem to have no knowledge of her history at all.
- Domestic violence for men ? There isn't any. I've called the domestic violence helpline and flat out told only for women. There is one in Australia listed to help men so I called. It's to help men who commit domestic violence.
- What have I done so far: I've put in extraordinary effort to ensure my daughter is well cared for and safe. I've re-mortgage house to tune of 150k to pay for private nannies and she was too young for early start daycare. After finally finding a daycare (it took 2 years) I get her ready every morning and pick her up do her dinner bath play and put her to bed.
- DCP help. They only get involved if the child is at risk. I proved to them I'm looking after daughter so they closed case which is in my favour. They did say they will support me in court if I decide to leave my partner.
- Why haven't I left my partner before now. The first year of my daughters life lawyers advised almost nil chance of custody and more likely care plan in place for mother. They give active heroin addict mothers custody here if they just show there getting some counselling and are on a treatment plan.
Changing locks and throwing her out is good on the movies but doesn't work in real life.
Being rushed off into a safe house again is he Hollywood.
I need a realistic plan with safeguards in the place where I can resume working and dropping my daughter to daycare. I need to do so through the family court.
You can't negotiate with a drug addict who is also very educated calculating and manipulative.
If 'they' refers to mental health facilities - it's a case that in Aust. There is an extreme shortage of hospital beds and mental health facilities through out the whole of Australia.
My suggestions regarding your situation is to obtain documented evidence as well as ' professional expert witnesses' who can be ordered and used to give evidence regarding ur partners character n behaviourism which will help strongly and build up a profile of ur partner in preparation for court.
Thanks for your help.
Yep, have extremely documented chronological time line of all events each one referencing a supporting document or person / institution to supeoner. Although I've been told surpeoner is bigger then ben her.
I've got a strong case and it's taken 3 years to get to this point. First few years I didn't really have enough to confidently win custody in separation. I love as also hoping my partner would come right.
Now after 3 years I've had enough and want out.
I just want to know how long interium order will take and if form 1 and form 4 asking for urgent court hearing will be successful.
I move out. Form 1 and form 4. The form 4 initiates DCP involvement who already said they will support me.
I'm just worried I'll be sitting in my rental for months awaiting hearing.
Shelter are not available for men.
Nothing is easy and things will become more difficult as it progresses. Regardless whether a partner has an addiction or not, if they are not willing or you are unable to sit down and talk things out face-to-face, even with a mediator from Relationship Australia or another third party because she doesn't want the situation to change, then as always it will be an extremely stressful and difficult time.
You would be surprised if you alone went to a therapist you enquire who deals with domestic violence, trauma, stress, relationships, how much you yourself will benefit on a personal level and be helped mentally to think more clearly, gain knowledge on how to approach and handle your partner, but also advised on how to go about this situation, keeping in mind the safety of your child at all times in getting out of the relationship. They will also support you through this including ringing around to find the correct assistance, legal information, free lawyer, etc.
Life Line centres, Salvation Army will also support you through court and are professionally obligated to report to authorities all forms of life or risk threatening related issues.They are used to dealing with situations and much worse. Bear in mind their reports can be summoned or they can be called as a witness on your behalf. They can guide you and help speed up the process to get your matter heard by the court whilst at a timely moment help you obtain an AVO or/ and Restraining Order for both you and your child and can quickly locate accommodation for you both if need be, otherwise their priority would be to get her out of the house as you are the prime carer of your child and the child is the number one priority in all this.
So the consideration will be the safety and well-being of the child and stability hence why remaining in familiar surroundings for the child e.g in her home with you, would be the prime issue. If you think you can relocate and hide whilst still going to work without an AVO for both of you or a Restraining order, then you are wrong.
The mother can and will call the police, have her child found, charged you with kidnapping or attempt to kidnap and other charges as well including placing you on an AVO, Restraining Order and other allegations. Or worse still, have her mates search and find her daughter which would be easy seeming all they would have to do is follow you back from work.
Police act upon complaint and are not Judge or Jury. You may say your partner is unfit to care for her child but if she has a friend/ person who is willing to help her care for her child or appears quite capable of caring for her child, she will be given the child. Then the matter will have to be brought before the Family Court which comes under Federal Law initiated by either you or the mother and time taken to do this can be put off either by the Family Courts or your partner can make up numerous reasons to delay the process and you could be held accountable for various charges (all the while your daughter is in the care of the mother and not you!)
Sammy01's idea of telling her you have to sell the house is only workable if you really do sell the house because everyone knows a person doesn't have to move out unless sold and you have already stated your partner is a resourceful, intelligent and street smart person, so doing this won't play out as planned. Selling your house would keep your credit rating and you can separate and leave with your daughter with some story but again where the child is concerned, you would have to provide a stable place for her, but there is no way your partner is going to let you take her daughter, or be found, nor can she be stopped in taking her daughter from whatever place she is at, unless taught skills of communication from attending therapy on how to convince the mother that her life would be better without the burden of caring for the child and you both can agree on her seeing or taking care of your daughter can be agreed upon.
I can strongly state that any person who knows their partner has an addiction problem and thinks they are able to care for a child and expect the person not to take medication ( in this case) without proper adult supervision (which you have no authority of your own to ensure this), is just as irresponsible as the addict. I understand AVOs, Restraining Orders can seem worthless as the piece of paper they're written on and don't protect anyone or stop anyone (been through this myself, including having a 2-year permanent DV order and even in court the perpetrator gets a slap on the wrist when orders are broken), however, they are like the 'Tortoise and the Hare' scenario and eventually do make a difference. In court, AVO's and Restraining Orders do come into account!
All the best and I hope you will share any outcomes as shared factual knowledge is better than none.
You would be surprised if you alone went to a therapist you enquire who deals with domestic violence, trauma, stress, relationships, how much you yourself will benefit on a personal level and be helped mentally to think more clearly, gain knowledge on how to approach and handle your partner, but also advised on how to go about this situation, keeping in mind the safety of your child at all times in getting out of the relationship. They will also support you through this including ringing around to find the correct assistance, legal information, free lawyer, etc.
Life Line centres, Salvation Army will also support you through court and are professionally obligated to report to authorities all forms of life or risk threatening related issues.They are used to dealing with situations and much worse. Bear in mind their reports can be summoned or they can be called as a witness on your behalf. They can guide you and help speed up the process to get your matter heard by the court whilst at a timely moment help you obtain an AVO or/ and Restraining Order for both you and your child and can quickly locate accommodation for you both if need be, otherwise their priority would be to get her out of the house as you are the prime carer of your child and the child is the number one priority in all this.
So the consideration will be the safety and well-being of the child and stability hence why remaining in familiar surroundings for the child e.g in her home with you, would be the prime issue. If you think you can relocate and hide whilst still going to work without an AVO for both of you or a Restraining order, then you are wrong.
The mother can and will call the police, have her child found, charged you with kidnapping or attempt to kidnap and other charges as well including placing you on an AVO, Restraining Order and other allegations. Or worse still, have her mates search and find her daughter which would be easy seeming all they would have to do is follow you back from work.
Police act upon complaint and are not Judge or Jury. You may say your partner is unfit to care for her child but if she has a friend/ person who is willing to help her care for her child or appears quite capable of caring for her child, she will be given the child. Then the matter will have to be brought before the Family Court which comes under Federal Law initiated by either you or the mother and time taken to do this can be put off either by the Family Courts or your partner can make up numerous reasons to delay the process and you could be held accountable for various charges (all the while your daughter is in the care of the mother and not you!)
Sammy01's idea of telling her you have to sell the house is only workable if you really do sell the house because everyone knows a person doesn't have to move out unless sold and you have already stated your partner is a resourceful, intelligent and street smart person, so doing this won't play out as planned. Selling your house would keep your credit rating and you can separate and leave with your daughter with some story but again where the child is concerned, you would have to provide a stable place for her, but there is no way your partner is going to let you take her daughter, or be found, nor can she be stopped in taking her daughter from whatever place she is at, unless taught skills of communication from attending therapy on how to convince the mother that her life would be better without the burden of caring for the child and you both can agree on her seeing or taking care of your daughter can be agreed upon.
I can strongly state that any person who knows their partner has an addiction problem and thinks they are able to care for a child and expect the person not to take medication ( in this case) without proper adult supervision (which you have no authority of your own to ensure this), is just as irresponsible as the addict. I understand AVOs, Restraining Orders can seem worthless as the piece of paper they're written on and don't protect anyone or stop anyone (been through this myself, including having a 2-year permanent DV order and even in court the perpetrator gets a slap on the wrist when orders are broken), however, they are like the 'Tortoise and the Hare' scenario and eventually do make a difference. In court, AVO's and Restraining Orders do come into account!
All the best and I hope you will share any outcomes as shared factual knowledge is better than none.
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