I want to try and keep this is as simple as possible and cross my fingers that someone can read through the mess and hopefully make sense of my predicaments. I have two problems, one family law related, the other criminal law related, but it’s a story with sharp corners so I’ll just pour my heart out (in point form) and see what happens.
- I came out to my ex as gay after 6 years together. We have 2 children. He found out about my being unfaithful at a point in our relationship and effectively kicked me out of our shared home.
- Ex disallowed me from seeing my children. In his eyes, my lies proved me to be a terrible role model. I went to stay with my sister after the first night when he let me sleep in the car outside the house.
- A few days of begging to see my children later, he agrees. Gives me a time to come to his mother’s house. I go. I’m ambushed by him, his mother, his friend, and my sister. Turns out she was the one who told him about my disloyalty, as well as laying a lot of lies thickly on top too. She had been comforting me for days while building to this climax.
- I was screamed at, locked inside the house, accused of many things while my kids looked on. When I went to leave, visibly shook, my sister proceeded to block me and yell in my face. I barged past her while begging my ex to let me out, which he finally did.
- I was homeless now. I went to a hotel room. I recieved a call that evening from the police asking me to come in. I was confused, but I went. I was arrested for common assault and presented with an AVO. My sister claimed I grabbed her arms, dug my nails in and pushed her in the stomach violently. Her and my ex’s friend both made statements. The statements completely contradict each other.
- My ex seemed shocked, stating to me that he had no idea what they were going to do and this is all getting out of hand, and he never wanted this. Him and his bother declined to give police statements.
- In the time between then and now, while waiting for court dates on the criminal matter, I have been living alone with my children for almost 3 months now. I got them back after 3 weeks in hotel rooms. I secured a rental for us, saw legal aid a hundred times and put in many hours of effort to organise our benefits and preschool arrangements. I did this all on my own.
- My ex, despite saying consistently to me and to others that I am basically an unfit mother and he is concerned for the kids around me, conveniently welcomed me back into their lives a couple of days before he was due to start a new job.
- Since acquiring his new job and new girlfriend, he has had the children only twice overnight. The second time he took them, he brought them back early because he had a date. He then tells me that he wants to swap the weekends that he has them. He wants to pick them up on Saturday evenings after work and bring them back on Sunday afternoons. He works 11 day fortnights. I made it clear that this was not okay. He only sees them once a fortnight, and he wants to couple them up with work to free up his alternate weekend. And so, because nobody has budged on that point, it has now been a month since he has seen the children.
- I picked up my police brief just a couple of days ago in preparation for upcoming court dates, and it states there that my ex was present at the police station when the bogus complaints were made against to me. This leads me to believe that it was all initially an ugly conspiracy to keep me from my children.
- Some miscellaneous points: he only started paying child support a few weeks ago after I went through the actual agency to force him to do it. He has been dragging my name through the mud to everyone I know, rendering me completely cut off from my prior support network.
Every time he is pressed about the reason he is so adamant that he wants the kids on his work weekend, not the other, his reasoning is that it doesn’t leave him any time for himself if he’s working one weekend and looking after them on the other. In this interim, I have been consistently seeking legal advice. I have appointments up to my ears but it is just such a slow process.
So- I guess these are my questions.
Do I have a right to withhold the children from him while I get legal answers when I believe his offer of custody is not in their best interest?
I have texts from him around the time of my arrest telling me lies like my sister wants to withdraw the charges and he doesn’t believe anything warranted the police in the matter- will that help me?
I have screenshots of messages that my sister has been sending to my friends, slandering me, telling lies- will that help me prove her intent in court?
If you have made it to the end of this and are able to help me, please, please do. Please.
- I came out to my ex as gay after 6 years together. We have 2 children. He found out about my being unfaithful at a point in our relationship and effectively kicked me out of our shared home.
- Ex disallowed me from seeing my children. In his eyes, my lies proved me to be a terrible role model. I went to stay with my sister after the first night when he let me sleep in the car outside the house.
- A few days of begging to see my children later, he agrees. Gives me a time to come to his mother’s house. I go. I’m ambushed by him, his mother, his friend, and my sister. Turns out she was the one who told him about my disloyalty, as well as laying a lot of lies thickly on top too. She had been comforting me for days while building to this climax.
- I was screamed at, locked inside the house, accused of many things while my kids looked on. When I went to leave, visibly shook, my sister proceeded to block me and yell in my face. I barged past her while begging my ex to let me out, which he finally did.
- I was homeless now. I went to a hotel room. I recieved a call that evening from the police asking me to come in. I was confused, but I went. I was arrested for common assault and presented with an AVO. My sister claimed I grabbed her arms, dug my nails in and pushed her in the stomach violently. Her and my ex’s friend both made statements. The statements completely contradict each other.
- My ex seemed shocked, stating to me that he had no idea what they were going to do and this is all getting out of hand, and he never wanted this. Him and his bother declined to give police statements.
- In the time between then and now, while waiting for court dates on the criminal matter, I have been living alone with my children for almost 3 months now. I got them back after 3 weeks in hotel rooms. I secured a rental for us, saw legal aid a hundred times and put in many hours of effort to organise our benefits and preschool arrangements. I did this all on my own.
- My ex, despite saying consistently to me and to others that I am basically an unfit mother and he is concerned for the kids around me, conveniently welcomed me back into their lives a couple of days before he was due to start a new job.
- Since acquiring his new job and new girlfriend, he has had the children only twice overnight. The second time he took them, he brought them back early because he had a date. He then tells me that he wants to swap the weekends that he has them. He wants to pick them up on Saturday evenings after work and bring them back on Sunday afternoons. He works 11 day fortnights. I made it clear that this was not okay. He only sees them once a fortnight, and he wants to couple them up with work to free up his alternate weekend. And so, because nobody has budged on that point, it has now been a month since he has seen the children.
- I picked up my police brief just a couple of days ago in preparation for upcoming court dates, and it states there that my ex was present at the police station when the bogus complaints were made against to me. This leads me to believe that it was all initially an ugly conspiracy to keep me from my children.
- Some miscellaneous points: he only started paying child support a few weeks ago after I went through the actual agency to force him to do it. He has been dragging my name through the mud to everyone I know, rendering me completely cut off from my prior support network.
Every time he is pressed about the reason he is so adamant that he wants the kids on his work weekend, not the other, his reasoning is that it doesn’t leave him any time for himself if he’s working one weekend and looking after them on the other. In this interim, I have been consistently seeking legal advice. I have appointments up to my ears but it is just such a slow process.
So- I guess these are my questions.
Do I have a right to withhold the children from him while I get legal answers when I believe his offer of custody is not in their best interest?
I have texts from him around the time of my arrest telling me lies like my sister wants to withdraw the charges and he doesn’t believe anything warranted the police in the matter- will that help me?
I have screenshots of messages that my sister has been sending to my friends, slandering me, telling lies- will that help me prove her intent in court?
If you have made it to the end of this and are able to help me, please, please do. Please.