Hi all,
I have been reading through a lot of the threads in here for quite some time while my partner has been going through the process of getting consent orders as his ex is refusing to allow their 7 year old daughter to see him until such order is in place (my partner is in a different state to the mother and daughter due to relocating for work) as she is afraid that he will not return her once she flies to see us.
It has now been almost a year since my partner has seen his daughter and quite a few months since he has been allowed to talk to her on the phone.
I won't bore you with the little things that have contributed to this decision made by her mother in not letting their daughter speak or see her father but will just ask a couple of questions based on the following information please?
Mediation was done at the beginning of the year by phone due to neither parties being in this same state. A parenting plan was put in place and it was agreed that the daughter would see my partner for half of each school holidays and speak on the phone three times a week, FaceTime every weekend. The daughter would not be allowed to come and visit until the parenting plan was taken to court to then form a consent order.
My partner has done this a few months later after saving the appropriate fees for the lawyer to do so. The lawyer has formed the draft consent order and sent it to the ex but she has come back saying her circumstances have changed because her current partner has children and it depends on what plans they have, so it is up to her what part of each holidays we see their daughter and we can only speak once a week on the phone and once a month FaceTime. Also we must facilitate visitation between the mother's sister and my partner's daughter while she is in our care for one day each holidays except Christmas where it is to be from Friday to Sunday. The daughter is also not allowed to speak to me, only her father. She also made a point in her email of saying how long it took for this order to be sent to her which we couldn't help as we had to be able to afford it and the lawyers had to draft it.
My partner has then requested that we extend the time spent with him in order to facilitate this visitation with the aunt as the time he spends with his daughter is already limited and that this occur in just two of the four holidays so we have some time with just her. As well as phone calls twice a week and FaceTime fortnightly. We are happy to allow the mother to choose what half of the holidays as long as we get 28 days notice to allow time to purchase flights and make plans for our holidays. In addition to this we asked that my partner be able to FaceTime his daughter on her birthday and Father's Day, and phone call on his birthday. We also asked that an alternative time be organised to speak to speak to his daughter where she doesn't answer the phone as past experience has shown she just doesn't pick up and then the following time we ring his daughter she asks why we didn't call.
She has responded to my partner's lawyers saying we are making it extremely difficult for her to agree to anything at all (her words) and she is now seeking legal advice. The mother has also said she wants to change their daughter's last name as the daughter wants it to be the same as her half sister. We have refused as we don't believe this to be fair when we have a child too who she has not even met yet and he has the same last name as her. It shouldn't be grounds for a name change simply because the child says she wants the same as her half sister?
This is now the third holidays where we have not seen his daughter and we are concerned about what the mother might be saying to their daughter while all of this is happening. She has said to her dad that she calls her mums partner's kids her sisters and brothers and their parents her aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc. which we believe is a mechanism for her to feel not so left out. It's hurtful but we're ok with it if it makes her happy. His daughter has in the past said she might not be able to come and see him if she is sick. We know this to be a frequent excuse for no visitation previously as we have experienced it and also the father of the half sister has also missed time with his daughter because of this.
The mother's partner has quite a few times been verbally abusive and threatening over the phone to my partner while the daughter has been in the room which is horrible for her as the partner has said things about him being an incapable father and that his daughter is laughing at him, etc.
Sorry I apologize for the essay.
My questions are, based on what I have explained, how would my partner fare in court if the mother comes back saying unless we agree to exactly what she wants, we can't see the daughter? He is considering representing himself as we may not be able to afford the legal fees if we do go to family court. Would that affect our ability to come to a fair agreement with the ex?
All we want is to see the daughter every half of the holidays and to keep frequent contact with her via phone and FaceTime to allow that relationship to remain strong considering the distance. We would be paying for all flights to and from in doer to see her.
My partner is fast losing faith and wants to give up completely because of how difficult and non committal his ex is being and feels he will never see his daughter even when going to family court and that fees will be too high and the process far too long.
I appreciate any helpful information and suggestions as well as experience you have in this matter.
I have been reading through a lot of the threads in here for quite some time while my partner has been going through the process of getting consent orders as his ex is refusing to allow their 7 year old daughter to see him until such order is in place (my partner is in a different state to the mother and daughter due to relocating for work) as she is afraid that he will not return her once she flies to see us.
It has now been almost a year since my partner has seen his daughter and quite a few months since he has been allowed to talk to her on the phone.
I won't bore you with the little things that have contributed to this decision made by her mother in not letting their daughter speak or see her father but will just ask a couple of questions based on the following information please?
Mediation was done at the beginning of the year by phone due to neither parties being in this same state. A parenting plan was put in place and it was agreed that the daughter would see my partner for half of each school holidays and speak on the phone three times a week, FaceTime every weekend. The daughter would not be allowed to come and visit until the parenting plan was taken to court to then form a consent order.
My partner has done this a few months later after saving the appropriate fees for the lawyer to do so. The lawyer has formed the draft consent order and sent it to the ex but she has come back saying her circumstances have changed because her current partner has children and it depends on what plans they have, so it is up to her what part of each holidays we see their daughter and we can only speak once a week on the phone and once a month FaceTime. Also we must facilitate visitation between the mother's sister and my partner's daughter while she is in our care for one day each holidays except Christmas where it is to be from Friday to Sunday. The daughter is also not allowed to speak to me, only her father. She also made a point in her email of saying how long it took for this order to be sent to her which we couldn't help as we had to be able to afford it and the lawyers had to draft it.
My partner has then requested that we extend the time spent with him in order to facilitate this visitation with the aunt as the time he spends with his daughter is already limited and that this occur in just two of the four holidays so we have some time with just her. As well as phone calls twice a week and FaceTime fortnightly. We are happy to allow the mother to choose what half of the holidays as long as we get 28 days notice to allow time to purchase flights and make plans for our holidays. In addition to this we asked that my partner be able to FaceTime his daughter on her birthday and Father's Day, and phone call on his birthday. We also asked that an alternative time be organised to speak to speak to his daughter where she doesn't answer the phone as past experience has shown she just doesn't pick up and then the following time we ring his daughter she asks why we didn't call.
She has responded to my partner's lawyers saying we are making it extremely difficult for her to agree to anything at all (her words) and she is now seeking legal advice. The mother has also said she wants to change their daughter's last name as the daughter wants it to be the same as her half sister. We have refused as we don't believe this to be fair when we have a child too who she has not even met yet and he has the same last name as her. It shouldn't be grounds for a name change simply because the child says she wants the same as her half sister?
This is now the third holidays where we have not seen his daughter and we are concerned about what the mother might be saying to their daughter while all of this is happening. She has said to her dad that she calls her mums partner's kids her sisters and brothers and their parents her aunts and uncles, grandparents, etc. which we believe is a mechanism for her to feel not so left out. It's hurtful but we're ok with it if it makes her happy. His daughter has in the past said she might not be able to come and see him if she is sick. We know this to be a frequent excuse for no visitation previously as we have experienced it and also the father of the half sister has also missed time with his daughter because of this.
The mother's partner has quite a few times been verbally abusive and threatening over the phone to my partner while the daughter has been in the room which is horrible for her as the partner has said things about him being an incapable father and that his daughter is laughing at him, etc.
Sorry I apologize for the essay.
My questions are, based on what I have explained, how would my partner fare in court if the mother comes back saying unless we agree to exactly what she wants, we can't see the daughter? He is considering representing himself as we may not be able to afford the legal fees if we do go to family court. Would that affect our ability to come to a fair agreement with the ex?
All we want is to see the daughter every half of the holidays and to keep frequent contact with her via phone and FaceTime to allow that relationship to remain strong considering the distance. We would be paying for all flights to and from in doer to see her.
My partner is fast losing faith and wants to give up completely because of how difficult and non committal his ex is being and feels he will never see his daughter even when going to family court and that fees will be too high and the process far too long.
I appreciate any helpful information and suggestions as well as experience you have in this matter.