Parental Responsibility - Consent Orders

[appleton]

Evening everyone,
Some further history in other posts, however, are seeking some advice please regarding applying to vary consent orders.

The existing orders are very brief and only include a few items which refer to - Parents have shared Parental responsibility - child lives with mother - father can contact child when agreed in writing - parents get on (not the case).
Unfortunately mother has been denying all contact with child, however has agreed to a final mediation session to discuss amendment to consent orders (very unlikely agreement will be achieved however as she is still pushing for a BFA).

We would like to understand the terminology a bit better as the lack of understanding around the term "shared parenting responsibility" has caused some tension. The ex interprets 'shared parental responsibility' to be that the father is to pay 50% of everything (her living costs, day care, medical, clothes, babysitting, sports and so on- all on top of the excessive child support payments (yes still making them). She frequently withholds access to child and does not consult the father at all on any matters until after the fact and then sends receipts demanding payment. Up until yesterday the father had not seen child in 5 months, as there was a medical situation and the only reason he was contacted, was not due to his illness, but for contribution to the medical bills.

We have reviewed other posts in this forum and looked at the Act (Meaning of parental responsibility; In this Part, parental responsibility , in relation to a child, means all the duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which, by law, parents have in relation to children). However would like to better understand what does 'shared parenting mean' and what type of matters could it potentially address and how can this be better addressed in Consent Orders?

We also found the below in a different post, which we believe could be used?
That in respect of each issue concerning the long term care, welfare and development of the children the Applicant and the Respondent shall:-
- Consult with the other person in relation to the decision to be made; and
- Make a genuine effort to come to a joint decision about that issue;
- Should the parties fail to come to a joint decision the parties will engage the services of a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner for mediation and will equally meet the cost of such mediation.

Questions:
- How can 'shared Parenting responsibility' be better addressed/broken down into detail in the Consent Orders?
- What implications could arise if she was to have 'Sole Responsibility' ~ any thoughts for or against this?
- As there are medical concerns for the child and concern that some of this is stemming from the mother, can the father be able to contact Doctors/School etc to make inquiries and could this be included in the orders?
- Greatly appreciate any other general advice for inclusions to the consent orders, as we appreciate that there are likely to be matters as he gets older that we are not aware of

Thank you

 

[CSFLW]

‘We would like to understand the terminology a bit better as the lack of understanding around the term "shared parenting responsibility" has caused some tension. The ex interprets 'shared parental responsibility' to be that the father is to pay 50% of everything (her living costs, day care, medical, clothes, babysitting, sports and so on’. Hello Appleton shared parental responsibility is very complex, but it does not include payments to subsidise the other parent’s personal living expenses.

 

[appleton]

Hi CSFLW, thank you, unfortunately that is the interpretation that we are dealing with.

 

[Atticus]

We would like to understand the terminology a bit better as the lack of understanding around the term "shared parenting responsibility"

While you are trying to define in orders every aspect of what this *may*mean in *that* event, you better also define common sense.... What you have already written is the whole meaning & intention, ie,

That in respect of each issue concerning the long term care, welfare and development of the children the Applicant and the Respondent shall:-
- Consult with the other person in relation to the decision to be made; and
- Make a genuine effort to come to a joint decision about that issue;
- Should the parties fail to come to a joint decision the parties will engage the services of a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner for mediation and will equally meet the cost of such mediation

Just include the above in your amended orders regarding how you want JPR to operate

As you can see, it has nothing to do with paying day to day costs... That is handled by CSA.. If there is a problem with that, then the complaint needs to be taken to the CSA

 

[appleton]

Thanks Atticus, common sense and maturity would be a godsend

 

[Step2Three]

Hi appleton, as per previous advice, Shared Parental Responsibility has nothing to do with financial contribution. If you're not seeing the child, presumably you're already contributing well OVER 50% of what CSA determines are the cost of a child.
Here's a definition of the sorts of things Shared Responsibility means- extracted from material from a Family Relationship Centre induction course, so impartial enough advice:

"Both Parents have an equal role is making major decisions about long term issues that affect their child's Education, Health, Religion and Culture, Change of Name, Changes to living arrangements". Except where there are issues of violence or abuse, the law presumes that it is in the best interests of the child for parents to have equal shared parental responsibility."

If you're having a mediation session the mediator should be able to to confirm this to you and the mother.

So as to your specific questions:

Questions:
- How can 'shared Parenting responsibility' be better addressed/broken down into detail in the Consent Orders?
It seems that amongst Family Law Practioners the meaning of shared responsibility is 'obvious' so we found there was pushback towards including the above definition specifically but you could try adding it and see what happens on the basis that it would reduce conflict going forward.

- What implications could arise if she was to have 'Sole Responsibility' ~ any thoughts for or against this?
Assuming you want to be part of your son's life, a big vote AGAINST. If she has sole parental responsibility she can pretty much do as she likes with the child you have no decision making power at all. Its unlikely you would see your son as long as her current attitude continues. You will still be required to pay Child Support, as previous posters have said, parental responsibility is not the same as financial responsibility so giving up one doesn't relieve you of the other. Orders for Sole Parental Responsibility are generally made if there is a significant risk to the child if the other parent remains a part of their life.

- As there are medical concerns for the child and concern that some of this is stemming from the mother, can the father be able to contact Doctors/School etc to make inquiries and could this be included in the orders?
Consider a specific order relating to the release of information, in my opinion is worth having in there. We have had to send orders to doctors surgeries to get them to release letters noting children's allergies and things like that in the past. Have the same clause for school/educational institutions as well- "The parties authorize any (school/medical etc) that the children attend to release any relevant information to the parties, and these institutions are authorized to communicate with the parties". Ideally parents should share information freely, however having those clauses will give you a workaround if bad attitudes continue.

- Greatly appreciate any other general advice for inclusions to the consent orders, as we appreciate that there are likely to be matters as he gets older that we are not aware of
At some point when he is older, you might want an option for the child to be able to contact whichever parent they aren't with (rather than requiring a previous agreement) and for the relevant party to facilitate that. Perhaps when older you might want to have a fixed time you can contact the child.
Sorry I don't recall the history- is it your choice to not have regular scheduled parenting time? If it is only due to their current age, then consider ways to change that as the child matures and can spend time with either parent.
What happens in event of serious illness/accident- how or when would you be contacted? If child is hospitalized, do you still need upfront written agreement to visit?
If you have any strong thoughts about education (e.g preference for public/private) it might be worth outlining that if it can be agreed now. Same for religious or cultural issues.

 

[appleton]

Thank you, this is very helpful, especially the comments regarding access to school/medical and visits if there is an emergency.

Unfortunately the child/mother live in a different state, so it is complicated by not having frequent and routine visitation. This may change in the future, but not in the short term, so we may look to have a comment included that the orders would be void/changed if both parents live in same state. But we do want better certainty around phone calls (set times) and visitation to ensure that when travelling across state there are no more 'last minute cancellations' and of course medical and schooling etc - thanks again