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VIC Custody of Children - Ex Restricting Access to Son - Child Abuse?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Jace, 10 January 2016.

  1. Jace

    Jace Well-Known Member

    5 January 2016
    Likes Received:
    I believe this situation could be classified as child abuse, but I'm not sure if legally that's what it would be called.

    My ex currently has custody of children for my son, but only because there is currently no court orders in place. She says she doesn't like me, so I can't see him. I have a parenting order pending, the first court date is 31st March. I have not seen my son since 22nd November 2015. He has just turned 5.

    I have received information that since I have not been allowed to see him, he has started having nightmares, won't leave his mother's side, and is experiencing grief, and refuses to sleep in his own bed, and as a result of this, she is taking him to a child psychologist for a counselling session this coming Tuesday. After his appointment, I will be contacting the centre and applying for a subpoena to access the records.

    Where I claim the child abuse is that she could easily avoid this getting any worse by letting me see him, but is choosing not to, which is potentially making the problem for him worse as time goes on. But also, as time goes on, there will be a weaker relationship between him and me ( this has been claimed by the Family Mediation Centre that this is also classified as child abuse).

    Is there something I can do to hurry things up and bring forward the initial court date, but more specifically, anything that I can do to prevent his problem from getting any worse (ie, getting an order quickly so I can see him again, in order to prevent this from developing further problems for him)? My genuine concern is that this will cause a life-long (or at least, long-term) anxiety problem for him, and she is directly (but unaware that she is) making it worse by not letting him see me.
  2. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

    27 September 2015
    Likes Received:
    Ok, so you're not gonna like my opinion.

    Do not rock the boat. You need to be able to establish in the magistrates mind that you can work with the mum to parent your child post separation. So accusing her of abusing the child ain't a good idea. Oh BTW - she is doing the right thing. The kid is having issues right now and she is seeking treatment - that is good parenting.

    Now - when you say you have 'received information. From whom?

    Stop looking at this from a fair / unfair, or justice / injustice perspective. Family law is about the best interest of the child. Now I understand you're gonna rant about how is it in the best interest for the kid not to see dad.

    Yep, I agree, but one of the things family law worries about is the levels of conflict between parents. If you go to court intent on showing that she is a crap parent the magistrate will see that as evidence that you can not work with mum in the best interest of the child.

    Now the mum is on a winner here. She wants to keep you away from the kid. Best way she can play that game is to show the magistrate that you and her can't effectively co-parent and to avoid the child from being used as a tool with which you and her can continue to hurt each other the magistrate could decide the best thing is to keep one parent away from the kid and that person is going to be you.

    So the best thing you can do is nothing. Don't go taking the kid from pre-school - because legally there is nothing stopping you except that it is a bad idea. Don't go accusing her of abusing your kid. Actually, the best thing you can do is focus on showing the magistrate that you're a good dad and that when the dust settles on all this conflict you expect that you and the ex are gonna work well in the best interest of the child.

    If you want, you could waste a whole lot of money getting a solicitor to tell the magistrate about the kid's nightmares etc., but that ain't gonna help you see your kid anytime soon.

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