Hi All,
It has been some time since I have visited this site - have been largely trying to focus on other things (as best I can!). However, I feel able now to share with you all the outcome of my matter. Quick background - history of DV towards myself and our son plus many other partners and children of those partners. Significant criminal history relating to drug and alcohol abuse on the part of the father. Narcissistic, anti-social personality traits, self-serving etc.
After 4 years in the FCC, the matter proceeded to trial. The father had been seeking full parental responsibility and that our son live with him. Trial commenced and after we had both given evidence (myself for 3 hours and he for 1.5 days) the father then amended his final orders to agree that I have sole parental responsibility and that our son live with me. He was then seeking holiday time, alternate Xmas, birthdays etc, access to school reports, medical reports etc. I should add that the father and the ICL were very much aligned in that the orders they sought were identical.
The question remaining for the judge following submission of the father's revised orders was whether or not time moved to unsupervised with the father (following 4 years of supervised visits) and if it did, just how much unsupervised time. It was of course a question and matter of risk.
Our trial took 5 days in total and a further 18 months for judgement to be delivered. I can confirm that by this time I had expended $200,000 in legal fees.
The ultimate outcome is that time will move to unsupervised however limited to every second Saturday between 9am and 4pm after 3 months of shorter blocks of time. That's it. No holiday time (in fact time with the father is suspended during school holidays to enable us to holiday together (judge's words not mine). No access to school or medical reports, but he can send a card and gift on our son's birthday to a postal address I have nominated. The father also has a number of conditions and requirements pertaining to alcohol and drug use etc. as well as referral to a psychologist and behavior program.
My biggest fear throughout this entire process was that time move to unsupervised. That has now occurred, obviously, but having heard and read the judge's reasons I am comforted by the protective measures that have been put in place. I do truly believe that the right decision was made and for the right reasons. There were a few conditions to be met prior to the first unsupervised visit and so that first visit is yet to occur however will do so in the very near future. I am thankful that I have my own psychologist to assist me at this time and moving forward in order to implement the appropriate and adequate coping measures that I will require.
This has been a harrowing number of years and I am thankful that the legal aspect has now concluded. This of course does not mean that battles haven't occurred post judgement because sadly they have, but I am confident that in time we will get to a place where the routine is established and our son has the benefit of happy and healthy parents for the time that he spends with us both.
Thanks so much for reading x
It has been some time since I have visited this site - have been largely trying to focus on other things (as best I can!). However, I feel able now to share with you all the outcome of my matter. Quick background - history of DV towards myself and our son plus many other partners and children of those partners. Significant criminal history relating to drug and alcohol abuse on the part of the father. Narcissistic, anti-social personality traits, self-serving etc.
After 4 years in the FCC, the matter proceeded to trial. The father had been seeking full parental responsibility and that our son live with him. Trial commenced and after we had both given evidence (myself for 3 hours and he for 1.5 days) the father then amended his final orders to agree that I have sole parental responsibility and that our son live with me. He was then seeking holiday time, alternate Xmas, birthdays etc, access to school reports, medical reports etc. I should add that the father and the ICL were very much aligned in that the orders they sought were identical.
The question remaining for the judge following submission of the father's revised orders was whether or not time moved to unsupervised with the father (following 4 years of supervised visits) and if it did, just how much unsupervised time. It was of course a question and matter of risk.
Our trial took 5 days in total and a further 18 months for judgement to be delivered. I can confirm that by this time I had expended $200,000 in legal fees.
The ultimate outcome is that time will move to unsupervised however limited to every second Saturday between 9am and 4pm after 3 months of shorter blocks of time. That's it. No holiday time (in fact time with the father is suspended during school holidays to enable us to holiday together (judge's words not mine). No access to school or medical reports, but he can send a card and gift on our son's birthday to a postal address I have nominated. The father also has a number of conditions and requirements pertaining to alcohol and drug use etc. as well as referral to a psychologist and behavior program.
My biggest fear throughout this entire process was that time move to unsupervised. That has now occurred, obviously, but having heard and read the judge's reasons I am comforted by the protective measures that have been put in place. I do truly believe that the right decision was made and for the right reasons. There were a few conditions to be met prior to the first unsupervised visit and so that first visit is yet to occur however will do so in the very near future. I am thankful that I have my own psychologist to assist me at this time and moving forward in order to implement the appropriate and adequate coping measures that I will require.
This has been a harrowing number of years and I am thankful that the legal aspect has now concluded. This of course does not mean that battles haven't occurred post judgement because sadly they have, but I am confident that in time we will get to a place where the routine is established and our son has the benefit of happy and healthy parents for the time that he spends with us both.
Thanks so much for reading x
