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Thank you

Member
23 October 2017
3
0
1
Hello,


Firstly thank you for reading and any responses.


I have searched the Internet completely and cannot come up with anything on the topic of property settlement and caring for a disabled child for life, so your replies will be helping many others in my situation when they Google here for your kind help also.


I am in a long wait for legal aid advice, free woman’s advice. I have spoken to twice and they can’t give me much other than leaflets which they never sent. I cannot get to the woman’s legal aid service as children are not allowed to be in attendance (fair enough) and they are only open when I have my children. I cannot afford a solicitor and am hoping someone can give me some advice re: a disabled child and property settlement for long term care and what is fair in the eyes of the law.


My ex husband and I had an agreement when we found out our daughter had Autism at 2 and a half. Our agreement was that I would do everything in my power to raise her full time and make her the best she could possibly be given her disability and be as independent as possible one day and so as we would have our life together much more peaceful as she was very aggressive as a young one and did not wish that to be our future.

This meant I did not go back to work in a blue chip company with a fantastic career, one where I earned double my ex husbands salary. It was decided my career was to be with our Special needs girl. I studied ABA therapy, researched and taught her (and continue to) how to do everything she does and her aggression left after a year and she is a kind lovely soul.

She was able to go to very small mainstream school and is now in year 7 at a special high school as she was unable to fit into a mainstream high school due to her intellectual disability/being taken advantage of by others etc due to her kind nature and missing social cues etc. I still continue to manage her life along with our Son who is 2 years less in age.


I have no family left (all have sadly passed over) The government and medical profession see that I need to care for my daughter so I am on a Carer payment as I cannot work full time as I need to care for my daughter full time when she is not at her Special High school.


I pay half the large mortgage my ex and I purchased, I pay council rates, water rates, her schooling and he pays me child support 1k a month for 2 children, and he pays half our mortgage (he earns good money over 100k). I live on $144 a week to feed the three of us and our animals acquired in our marriage and that is ok, I manage it with help from a food bank as well when needed.

I can't sell the home as break out fees with the bank will be $90k each and that is locked down for another 7 years, I could never repay it. I can't have people lease my home and rent it as I will have to move out of the catchment area which means my daughter will not be able to attend her special high school, would be with me full time, not learn and she could not function at all in a mainstream school environment. I also couldn’t afford the rent here in my catchment. The assets I received when my ex husband left were the furniture and the car (market value just under $5,000).


My ex husband wants to split everything in our divorce 50/50 and do a financial agreement and lodge it with the court.


I have not earned superannuation since my daughter was born (14 years ago) as I have been caring for her as per our agreement. I can't find work that will allow me to work under 25 hours and with so many school holidays. I am basically unemployable due to my daughters disability and my Carer role and it’s hurts very much I can’t be a productive member of society and pay taxes.

I do not earn any superannuation nor ever will without work, my super is at 60k acquired from working prior to our children. My fear is that my Daughter and I will have nothing to live on in our future as we have no super to do so. My ex husband told me not to worry as he will ensure he puts her in a community care facility if I pass over or am unable to care for her financially when the home is sold in the future which would petrify her and me too.


So after that background information, questions to you are these and thank you for any help you may give myself and others on them:-


After 14 years of marriage is a 50/50 split fair?


Am I entitled to more than half of his superannuation given I am going to be raising and caring for our child with a disability for the rest of my living life? His Superannuation isn’t that much (160k) as he lived outside Australia prior to us marrying.


The mortgage is $430k and interest only, the property is worth $560K


Am I entitled to more of the house sale in 7 years (when hold from bank is released) so I can have some monies to provide for my daughter, son and I when the house is sold?


Am I entitled to him paying to help me with our daughter when child support ceases at 18 to help me continue to raise her?


As he has said “I will be a multi millionaire when my parents pass over and will be laughing”. I do not want any of that I just want him to do the right thing now by her and I don't want to be shafted as he has hired the best solicitors and I simply can't afford one at all being on a Carer Pension.


Our Mortgage have my ex husbands parents as guarantors, they are looking to sell their home early next year and want me to sign off on releasing them, I’m sure my ex husband would have done this by now if my signature wasn’t required and he is hassling me to sign it. I haven’t as yet and avoid the subject as I’m not sure if a good solicitor would say don’t sign it off until you get a fair deal.


Again, I just want what is fair, if we didn't have a child with Autism I would have been back in the workforce and still using my degree I worked so hard for prior to children. I am unhirable, feel completely lost financially for my future with my beautiful daughter. My ex husband says that she will work one day and not to sweat it, you don’t know what the future holds, however I need to lock down for her future now. He has only been with my daughter 1 weekend a month over the years and some school holidays as he took off Interstate to live when he left us. He isn’t with her 24/7.


I am 45 and will be 50 when she leaves high school. I honestly don’t believe she will be able to get full time employment with her disability and I will be her full time Carer and living on a government support, something which I hate doing and have never had to do in my life until my ex husband absconded. My life was not meant to be like this, as with many others I know, however I have embraced her with every fiber and he feels it is up to me once child support ends to care for her and not society. I'm scared for my daughter and our future financially and feel beyond sick about it. I have 4 months to finalise the property settlement.


Any help would be so appreciated on what my entitlements should be fair in the eyes of the law as per our divorce property settlement.


Thank you so much.


In much kind,
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
684
2,894
Property settlements are difficult to provide guidance on because each matter is so different and there is no hard and fast rule about who gets what, so I'll tell you the process of how the Court decides a property settlement.

Basically, the Court asks four questions.

1. What is the value of the shared asset pool?
2. What were the financial and non-financial contributions of each party?
3. What are the future needs of the parties?
4. Is the settlement just and equitable?

Non-financial contributions in the way of stay-at-home parenting are generally weighted the same as the financial contribution of the other party, so that won't disadvantage you, and you having care of the kids will obviously be considered a future need.

For super, only the super earned during the marriage is taken into account, and if you make a claim on it, it will still be subject to
Superannuation laws, meaning it will be transferred to your super account, rather than paid out in cash funds.

From here, though, it's impossible to predict an outcome for you, but the average in similar circumstances tends to be a 60-65/40-35 split that would most likely be in your favour. There's no way to tell how the settlement would be executed, though. The Court might order sale of the house or order one party to buy out the other, who knows?

For child support after the child reaches 18, you could certainly apply for special circumstances that facilitate such an arrangement through CSA, but that is a future issue.

You really do need legal advice though, for the property settlement. It's mandatory before a court will sign off on a settlement, so best be patient and wait to speak to a lawyer.
 
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Thank you

Member
23 October 2017
3
0
1
Property settlements are difficult to provide guidance on because each matter is so different and there is no hard and fast rule about who gets what, so I'll tell you the process of how the Court decides a property settlement.

Basically, the Court asks four questions.

1. What is the value of the shared asset pool?
2. What were the financial and non-financial contributions of each party?
3. What are the future needs of the parties?
4. Is the settlement just and equitable?

Non-financial contributions in the way of stay-at-home parenting are generally weighted the same as the financial contribution of the other party, so that won't disadvantage you, and you having care of the kids will obviously be considered a future need.

For super, only the super earned during the marriage is taken into account, and if you make a claim on it, it will still be subject to
Superannuation laws, meaning it will be transferred to your super account, rather than paid out in cash funds.

From here, though, it's impossible to predict an outcome for you, but the average in similar circumstances tends to be a 60-65/40-35 split that would most likely be in your favour. There's no way to tell how the settlement would be executed, though. The Court might order sale of the house or order one party to buy out the other, who knows?

For child support after the child reaches 18, you could certainly apply for special circumstances that facilitate such an arrangement through CSA, but that is a future issue.

You really do need legal advice though, for the property settlement. It's mandatory before a court will sign off on a settlement, so best be patient and wait to speak to a lawyer.
T
Property settlements are difficult to provide guidance on because each matter is so different and there is no hard and fast rule about who gets what, so I'll tell you the process of how the Court decides a property settlement.

Basically, the Court asks four questions.

1. What is the value of the shared asset pool?
2. What were the financial and non-financial contributions of each party?
3. What are the future needs of the parties?
4. Is the settlement just and equitable?

Non-financial contributions in the way of stay-at-home parenting are generally weighted the same as the financial contribution of the other party, so that won't disadvantage you, and you having care of the kids will obviously be considered a future need.

For super, only the super earned during the marriage is taken into account, and if you make a claim on it, it will still be subject to
Superannuation laws, meaning it will be transferred to your super account, rather than paid out in cash funds.

From here, though, it's impossible to predict an outcome for you, but the average in similar circumstances tends to be a 60-65/40-35 split that would most likely be in your favour. There's no way to tell how the settlement would be executed, though. The Court might order sale of the house or order one party to buy out the other, who knows?

For child support after the child reaches 18, you could certainly apply for special circumstances that facilitate such an arrangement through CSA, but that is a future issue.

You really do need legal advice though, for the property settlement. It's mandatory before a court will sign off on a settlement, so best be patient and wait to speak to a lawyer.
Thank you very kindly
 

Thank you

Member
23 October 2017
3
0
1
Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate it very much.

My ex husband and I are looking to avoid court and do it through his lawyer and he lodges the property settlement in court, no muss no fuss, I didn’t mention this and my apologies. I cannot afford a lawyer sadly I am just scraping by each week with this mortgage I am legally stuck in.

I will ask for 65% then at the end of the day which I know he won’t agree to but I can ask. I can’t afford to lodge anything with a court in a protest so I will just have to settle for less.

I am kinda screwed financially later in life as I will never have super or enough money for my daughter and I to live on.

It’s the only time in my life I feel I am letting my daughter down and can’t help or provide for her. As my ex said he can put her into a government facility if I cannot provide for her financially later down the track, makes my blood run backwards yet if I have time to wrap that around my mind over the next few years and deal with it.

Again, thanks very much I really do appreciate your words of assistance.

In kind,
 
Last edited by a moderator:

SamanthaJay

Well-Known Member
4 July 2016
335
55
794
Maybe the women's legal aid service will have an appointment with you over the phone? That's what I did here in Victoria. Keep trying with them and suggest a phone appointment.

Through my appointment I was able to find a solicitor that accepted payment when we settled as I did not have any funds to pay to them beforehand.

Now about a job - keep your eye out. Check Gumtree. Look for casual work. My work is desperate to hire casual workers at the moment and we can't get them! One in 23 applicants returned our phone call or responded to our email. We are very flexible re hours so someone with school kids could work 9 till 3 and are open to those that can't work 5 days a week. Lower your standards in regards to what sort of job you will do. With your Carer's payment, you can earn a certain amount before it affects your payment dollar for dollar.

Also, you could do a course heavily funded by the govt due to your carer's payment. Jobs like bookkeepers are in demand or even baristas! Cafes like to hire casuals for 4 hours or so through the middle of the day. House cleaners are in big demand! I see on my local community page on FB that people are constantly looking for a house cleaner. Do the aged care course and work is guaranteed. They are crying out for workers. My mum has ladies come and take her shopping or do her housework.

Lastly, do not settle for 50% in your circumstances.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
5,152
720
2,894
Nope 50/50 aint fair... Look at the 4 questions allforher mentioned the courts will ask...

Next child support - you can apply for extra child support based on special needs of the child... You have a good case...

The courts will not be interested in the fact that you MIGHT have an inheritance in the future...