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QLD Chances of Getting Custody of Children?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by all4my3kids, 10 April 2016.

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  1. all4my3kids

    all4my3kids Member

    10 April 2016
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    I'll try to keep this as brief as possible...

    My ex-husband and I separated 2.5 years ago. I left.

    He was emotionally and verbally abusive to me and there had been some physical and verbal abuse to our child during the marriage. When we separated, we did 50/50 custody of children because I was uneducated and just assumed that was what had to be done and he also threatened me with DOCS every chance he got, so I was fearful of rocking the boat.

    I've made numerous attempts to mediate with him to change the 50/50 as it's proven over the last couple years to not be working for the kids. They don't cope and there is no consistency in their lives. Plus he works a split shift so always relies on help for the kids.

    When I made the first request for mediation he reported me to the police for sexual abuse allegations toward 2 of my children. The allegations were unsubstantiated but the mediation got called off because he reported the alleged abuse to the mediation center also. Between then and now, he's made several suggestions that my children don't feel safe with me, that my now partner is abusive to them and me (which he's not!), that I'm neglectful of them blah blah blah.

    Anyway fast forward to now, I've finally gained the strength to put the application in with the family court for property settlement and custody of children.

    We recently had our first mention and the court has ordered a family consultant.

    His affidavit and notice of risk are littered with lies alleging I'm physically, verbally, emotionally and sexually abusive to my kids. Since our mention, he's lodged subpoenas to Dept of education and child safety.

    I'm just so fearful that his lies and manipulation will mean that I'm going to have the kids taken away from me.

    He's got a psychologist he takes the kids to backing him up, a doctor and the local school all believing his web if lies. He's even got friends writing statements that they've witnessed me being abusive to the kids when we were together.

    I know deep in my heart that he's a manipulative narc and I know I don't abuse my kids but what hope have I got with all these allegations?

    I can't get Legal Aid, so I'm self-representing because all our money is tied up in the property he's refused to settle on.

    Can someone please tell me they've been through the same thing and come out OK on the other side? My poor, poor children love their dad dearly but it's evident that he's hurting them by trying to destroy me.

    I just want peace for my children!
  2. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

    23 July 2014
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    What kind of orders are you seeking for the kids?
  3. Hope this helps

    Hope this helps Well-Known Member

    26 March 2016
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    How old are the children? What is the arrangement regarding the children at the moment? Is the house your ex resides in your name as well?

    The Judge will order a family report to be done by a court appointed social worker or counsellor who will individually see all children and yourself. 9.5 out of 10 cases have placed allegations upon one or the other or both. This is as common as the sun rising each day. Any information regarding allegations of abuse committed against yourself or the children during and after marriage starting with the most current, if this has occurred, should be placed chronically within your affidavit.

    All allegations will be investigated.

    You, yourself just concentrate on what has occurred during and after marriage regarding yourself, children and any false allegations made to whom, where, time and date. What affects the current parenting plans is having on the children, etc. What you have done to come to some arrangement in the best interest of the children with your ex.

    Concentrate on what is best for the children as this is what Family Court will be doing.

    There are a lot of free legal advice everywhere. May I ask if you live on the Northside or the Southside of Brisbane? If so, I can give you a list of free legal advice centres and places who will assist you.

    The father may take the children to a psychologist or counselling or doctors, but he can not influence their findings. All reports from doctors or other professionals will, if necessary, be used as expert witnesses in regards to the children.

    Regarding yourself, if you have gone to the doctor after your ex physically abused you or committed any domestic violence acts - emotionally, sexually, physically, financially, mentally - ( read what is classified as domestic violence or abuse) including the children, then as I have mentioned state this in your affidavit.

    It beats me why people who state they have not done anything wrong to their children become frightened of DOCS as all allegations must be investigated. All reports will be given to the Judge, Court Counsellor and a CLR will be appointed on behalf of the children to represent the best interest of the children. Family court Judges' top priority are the children.

    You are able to gain legal representation using the house and other property you have accumulated as payment once settlement has been done. Though this will occur after parenting plans/ orders are sorted out first.

    Just remember the Family Court Judge has heard it all before. I suggest you obtain a solicitor if your ex can intimidate you will false allegations.

    As I have mentioned, if you live around Brisbane or near Brisbane. Let me know and I will supply you with numerous free legal advice or ring around as a lot of solicitors offer the first 30-60 mins free advice so have your questions ready, use a win-win payment scheme, do Pro Bono work, etc.
  4. Clancy

    Clancy Well-Known Member

    6 April 2016
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    Whoa, sounds like your dealing with an alpha narc there.... My sister is dealing with one of those, he managed to turn the kids against her as well and their older kids, too - teenagers. The thing to remember is that a narcs greatest strength is their ability to affect your emotions. You need to cut off that source of strength and they will wither and fade like pouring water on the wicked witch! lol

    Have a good support group of friends and family to rally around you, and or join various groups. My sister joined a group for survivors of narcs and it really helped her to talk to people who have suffered the same.

    Hope this helps :)
    Hope this helps likes this.

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