QLD Absent Father - Making Threats CS

[sammy01]

Look step dad's role is enshrined in the law.
What is a Meaningful Relationship | R.B. Flinders
I don't usually like referring to law firms, but let me off just once because I cant find a better link.

So - respectfully, what if you die? But let's be blunt here.
The fact that step dad has taken on some financial responsibility for the child and the fact bio dad has not means step dad is on a winner.
NEXT
"Meaningful relationship" step dad has one, bio dad does not...
So is it in the best interest of the child to be moved away from step dad because mum dies? And be put into the care of someone that he doesn't really know? I'd like to think the courts would agree with my answer... HELL NO.

And the child would stay with bio dad until such time as a court ordered differently.

So my partner - god bless her... She writes permission notes / sick notes etc for the kids if they miss school. If i was away / incapacitated and there was an emergency the authorities would accept her as the next best person to talk to in regards to the emergency.

So short answer - Look you can spend a fortune in court to get step dad recognised, but he already is recognised as having a meaningful relationship with the child. So really you don't need to do anything BUT if you were to choose to, well you're spending a whole lot on solicitors etc. Spend that $ on taking step dad on a holiday / golf clubs / a night out.

Somebody else mentioned inheritance - A good will fixes that one.

Stress less - stress kills. Look left and right before you cross the road so you don't get hit by a bus and consider yourself luck to be a Kiwi. That passport thing has caused me a world of grief because the ex wont sign / will sign / might sign...

 

[Atticus]

My death is something I’ve thought about a lot. However as time goes on, unless I can find a solution for all, my only hope is the courts would look at the facts and make a good choice.

You can appoint your husband as guardian in your will, and also appoint a guardian should you both die... Yes the bio dad could seek court orders to oppose it, but it will; cost him money and spending money seems to be an issue for him... Plus as Sammy01 has pointed out. Your husband is a significant other in the boys life and that carries a great deal of weight in family law particularly as bio dad has been absent forever...

 

[Hummingbird]

Blue Mint if your partner, child and bio dad are all happy to see step dad adopt the child, that might be a nice way to wrap up all your issues. If the child has no relationship at all with the father and doesn't seek to, if the step dad is on board, and if the bio dad is that keen to avoid an 8k debt, it sounds like adoption is a credible choice.

I agree with sammy, money spent on going down the custody and court route might be money wasted and stir a hornets nest, plus the fact that bio dad has been able to demonstrate no reliability or consistent interest or involvement in his son's life would act strongly against him if he ever tries to pursue any custody/ visitation for spiteful reasons. I would make sure to keep all the texts, emails, whatever evidence you can that shows how absent and uninterested bio dad is, including any verbal abuse, attempted blackmail etc hurled your way. That way you know if things get complicated and he does decide to take anything to court you have what you need to smack down any argument he makes. Ignore his childish claims of airport watchlists and pathetic attempt to bully you into getting him out of a debt he is responsible for, those ridiculous things are not even worth acknowledging and he is delusional if he thinks they get him anywhere except in trouble if you show the court those types of communication from him.

 

[Blue_Mint]

Tha

You can appoint your husband as guardian in your will, and also appoint a guardian should you both die... Yes the bio dad could seek court orders to oppose it, but it will; cost him money and spending money seems to be an issue for him... Plus as Sammy01 has pointed out. Your husband is a significant other in the boys life and that carries a great deal of weight in family law particularly as bio dad has been absent forever...

Thanks Atticus, great to know, I always thought it was more black and white so really good to know there’s some hope on that front!

 

[Blue_Mint]

Blue Mint if your partner, child and bio dad are all happy to see step dad adopt the child, that might be a nice way to wrap up all your issues. If the child has no relationship at all with the father and doesn't seek to, if the step dad is on board, and if the bio dad is that keen to avoid an 8k debt, it sounds like adoption is a credible choice.

I agree with sammy, money spent on going down the custody and court route might be money wasted and stir a hornets nest, plus the fact that bio dad has been able to demonstrate no reliability or consistent interest or involvement in his son's life would act strongly against him if he ever tries to pursue any custody/ visitation for spiteful reasons. I would make sure to keep all the texts, emails, whatever evidence you can that shows how absent and uninterested bio dad is, including any verbal abuse, attempted blackmail etc hurled your way. That way you know if things get complicated and he does decide to take anything to court you have what you need to smack down any argument he makes. Ignore his childish claims of airport watchlists and pathetic attempt to bully you into getting him out of a debt he is responsible for, those ridiculous things are not even worth acknowledging and he is delusional if he thinks they get him anywhere except in trouble if you show the court those types of communication from him.

Thanks Hummingbird, do you think I should contact C.S. re the requests? I hadn’t thought too much about doing anything about it, however, I guess I wasn’t to sure if they would do anything and weather it was a waste of my time, however a note in the system couldn’t hurt

 

[Atticus]

Somebody else mentioned inheritance - A good will fixes that one.

I mentioned it as one of the implications of adoption, but in the context of the son no longer having a legal right to challenge the estate of the bio dad, not the other way around.

 

[Blue_Mint]

Look step dad's role is enshrined in the law.
What is a Meaningful Relationship | R.B. Flinders
I don't usually like referring to law firms, but let me off just once because I cant find a better link.

So - respectfully, what if you die? But let's be blunt here.
The fact that step dad has taken on some financial responsibility for the child and the fact bio dad has not means step dad is on a winner.
NEXT
"Meaningful relationship" step dad has one, bio dad does not...
So is it in the best interest of the child to be moved away from step dad because mum dies? And be put into the care of someone that he doesn't really know? I'd like to think the courts would agree with my answer... HELL NO.

And the child would stay with bio dad until such time as a court ordered differently.

So my partner - god bless her... She writes permission notes / sick notes etc for the kids if they miss school. If i was away / incapacitated and there was an emergency the authorities would accept her as the next best person to talk to in regards to the emergency.

So short answer - Look you can spend a fortune in court to get step dad recognised, but he already is recognised as having a meaningful relationship with the child. So really you don't need to do anything BUT if you were to choose to, well you're spending a whole lot on solicitors etc. Spend that $ on taking step dad on a holiday / golf clubs / a night out.

Somebody else mentioned inheritance - A good will fixes that one.

Stress less - stress kills. Look left and right before you cross the road so you don't get hit by a bus and consider yourself luck to be a Kiwi. That passport thing has caused me a world of grief because the ex wont sign / will sign / might sign...

You have put my mind at ease, thank you!

 

[Blue_Mint]

I mentioned it as one of the implications of adoption, but in the context of the son no longer having a legal right to challenge the estate of the bio dad, not the other way around.

To be honest, I hope to leave my son a decent inheritance.. well here’s hoping and bio father doesn’t exactly have what I’d refer to as a good work ethic.. but yes, things can change and it’s worth consideration