SA Tricky Mother has had Daughter Assessed for Autism

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Lidella

Active Member
10 June 2021
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Thank you for answering my questions.
This is a tricky situation, the mother of the child (daughter) has paid for a autism assessment in which she has lied and stated the father has no contact or involvement with the child. The mother has signed a legal contract stating this to the psychologist. The father has made contact with the psychologist after much research. Intially the daughter was taken to the womens and childrens hospital on which the doctor advised to hold off on assessing the daughter. The mother pushed for the assessment and daughter tells the father that they can now get more money and assistance now she has autism. all of the daughters school records indicate she is doing well at school etc. The father is currently going through a legal process to even get to spend time with the children. Is it illegal to sign a contract stating that the father isn't present? what can be done in regards to this?
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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So are you saying there is now an assessment completed that states the girl HAS autism?
 

Lidella

Active Member
10 June 2021
12
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Yes this is correct. The assessment having being done with misleading information. The report has conflicting evidence. the evidence is half based on what the parent states about the child.
 

Atticus

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6 February 2019
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stated the father has no contact or involvement with the child. The mother has signed a legal contract stating this to the psychologist......Is it illegal to sign a contract stating that the father isn't present? what can be done in regards to this?
Depending on what kind of contract we are taking about, probably not much will come of it unless it's the kind of thing both parents with parental responsibility are supposed to agree to. If that's the case & she has falsely claimed that dads not around & can't be contacted then it may have some bearing from the family law aspect..

I don't have first hand knowledge, but I assumed that an assessment is based around a criteria used to test the child & report the outcome... In that regard, though a parents input may have some bearing, I wouldn't think their input would be that great.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Hey,
Yeah, the parent's observations are a contributing factor. U'm guess what Austism is at one end of the Aspergers spectrum. NO doubt you've heard punters say 'he is on the spectrum' as in the person is a little bit strange. But just my opinion here. We are all on the spectrum somewhere. Extreme autism being at one end. But it is pretty easy to get a diagnosis. An introverted child (btw there is no need to see the word introverted as a negative) who is intelligent probably fits the bill. So the kid is on the spectrum, and somehow mum gets more money. MADNESS.

Dyslexia is another one of these hard to diagnose conditions. But doesn't come with funding. But I'm getting off point.

Lidella - your job isn't to use this as 'evidence' that mum is a nutter. Sure be pissed that mum is doing crazy s**t. And you can expect the next part of the game to be mummy stating that 'because of the diagnosis the kid needs to have one home because a kid with autism can't deal with over stimulation' ffs. NOPE - your job is to play the game smarter. Ok, so there are some concerns that the kid is austistic. No worries, wasn't involved in the process your honour, but happy to work with mum.
Short version, don't make a big deal out of it. Your job in family law is to demonstrate that you're child focussed and prepared to do what ever you can to make co-parenting work. By getting bogged down in she did this, she is a liar, she isn't including dad, she is a f-wit, all you're doing is helping her cause by showing high conflict.

Mate trust me - my 12 yr old, bit proud of him, school vice - captain, bloody smart, good at math, and rather handsome (takes after his dad) was at the age of 4 in a play group with profoundly disabled kids. My kid did not belong in that group, but the ex was aiming to get more $$$ because my son was a 'special needs' kid. FFS. But stay focussed on winning the war and the war is about time with the kids. Everything else is a noisy battle that will distract you from the main game.
 

Lidella

Active Member
10 June 2021
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Thanks Atticus and Sammy. Your correct the diagnosis isn't the alarming factor here, It is the fact that The mother has falsely claimed that the father is not apart of the childs life when only recently the child had spent holidays. The child may have autism but the levels that the child has been diagnosed at is a concern. The mother has treated this entire process like a game and held back many appointments knowledge about the children claiming that the father doesn't want to be involved. when it comes to organizing time with the children she will put things in place to make it almost impossible to see the children. This isn't a game for him he clearly just wants time with his children without all of the nonsense. Its detrimental to his mental health. It has been four years now of no say out of the desire to do what he believed is best for the children. This has caused him to have very brief involvement only to see his children when how and for how long the mother dictates. On a personal note i have worked with many people adults and children with autism, reading the assessment i just do not see the child fitting into the categorys that the psychologist has indicated. The father gets along with people with Autism just fine and sometimes it's truly difficult to see any difference. This is understood. It just seems unjust that a person can make a valid assessment on someone without full input from both parents. In the documents obtained by the specialists It states many lies and conflicting information from the mother. Even within that document it states that she has claimed that the father is not involved. which is ludicrous. The father does want whats best for his children am i silly to assume that having the father in there lives even just for holidays is the best for the children. The children have been yelled at, manipulated, lied to and everything is settled as long as mother gets what she wants. Thing is if its not one thing its the next and it just goes on. She will never be happy. The father has got to the point to not even respond to the attacking messages just trying to focus soley on the kids. Its got past the point of trying to understand the mother or where she is coming from as she just makes no sense. The father has tried it all understanding that she may be in fear of losing her children, that it could be money based, her need for control. It just becomes one thing after the other. You satisfy one need and the next thing pops up. Its just who is the target at the time. This is why the father has cut off from the mother. Now she has focused the attention on the daughter. Its just really Sad all of this and that it even has to get to this point.
Thanks again
 

Lidella

Active Member
10 June 2021
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The section Ic60 i think it is called has been obtained and now in the process of hopefully getting some parenting orders in place.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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The section Ic60 i think it is called has been obtained and now in the process of hopefully getting some parenting orders in place..... Also using the fact the Daughter has Autism has already been used.
Good .... Unfortunately it's the only avenue available to deal with a parent like this.

So does he currently have any regular contact at all or just when it suits mum or she's in a good mood?

As @sammy01 has pointed out, autism is a spectrum.... One of the things with autism *can* be difficulty coping with change.... If mum is going to use that as some kind of excuse to restrict visits, the other (more relevant) side of that argument is that a regular more frequent routine around changeovers & visits is less stressful on the kids