Mother seeking out child at school while in father's care

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rjm

Well-Known Member
2 February 2020
92
7
314
The reason I thought it was interesting reading is because I was of the opinion myself that men often get a raw deal in the family court system. I think what we should be trying to avoid in society is people like Hannah Clarke & her kids being incinerated. Perpetuating the idea that men aren't being treated fairly when the numbers actually suggest that they are is dangerous.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
4,974
710
2,894
"Perpetuating the idea that men aren't being treated fairly when the numbers actually suggest that they are is dangerous." What numbers? But please don't answer on this thread, this thread isn't about the court system, the Hannah Clarke tragedy or delusional numbers.

Off topic. This is a thread about a step parent wanting to know what can be done about the maternal mother disrupting the child's learning... The tragedy of Hannah Clarke or whether or not blokes get a raw deal in family law is of no relevance and isn't helping this punter work out what to do.
 

Stepmumreeree

Active Member
1 April 2020
9
0
31
Hi all,

Father has shared care of child with mother - 50/50. Mother has on a number of occasions attended child's school during the fathers week and sought child out.
Previously she volunteered for a school disco and spent a week visiting the child while he was at afters school care. Today she was in his classroom giving the teacher a note as I (step mum) dropped him off to class - no notes are due this week, they are due next week when child is in mothers care. Child usually attends before school care so mother was not aware I would be there today. Mother also tells child not to tell father and step mum when mother visits him at school so we don't know how often this is actually occurring.

Is this breaking orders? Or is this something we need to try to manage the best we can? Child becomes unsettled whenever mother does this. Child is 6 and we accept that 7 days away from mum and dad is difficult at the best of times.

Any advice?

Wow. Your posts are almost identical to my situation.
In my situation the mother attends the girls before school every day they are in the fathers care. We had the family assessment last Monday (children were in our care)
On Tuesday, she went to the school, gave them both toys and interrogated them on what they said to the family assessor)
Wednesday, she went and gave them chocolates.
Thursday, she arrived with 2 bags of different multi vitamins and instructions on what they need to take ( we have already been giving them multi vitamins. So they doubled up)
It is continual every week the girls are in our care. But she also has an obsession with hating me, which she tries to force on the girls (which they tell me all about whilst cuddling with me)
They are told to not take photos with me, not talk to me, not cuddle me. Me and my sons are not their blood. She tells them to say that my son has shown them his penis (all of
This is in affidavits and now lodged with court)
I wish she would just leave us all alone when it’s our family time! Get on with her life and let us enjoy ours without hearing the constant narcissistic lies she tries to make her children believe!
p.s - the mother has not ever even met me
Officially. First time at handover when we recovered the kids through court. She doesn’t even know me! It’s so frustrating.
 

gunnerzzzz

Well-Known Member
8 March 2020
52
0
196
Hi all,

Father has shared care of child with mother - 50/50. Mother has on a number of occasions attended child's school during the fathers week and sought child out.
Previously she volunteered for a school disco and spent a week visiting the child while he was at afters school care. Today she was in his classroom giving the teacher a note as I (step mum) dropped him off to class - no notes are due this week, they are due next week when child is in mothers care. Child usually attends before school care so mother was not aware I would be there today. Mother also tells child not to tell father and step mum when mother visits him at school so we don't know how often this is actually occurring.

Is this breaking orders? Or is this something we need to try to manage the best we can? Child becomes unsettled whenever mother does this. Child is 6 and we accept that 7 days away from mum and dad is difficult at the best of times.

Any advice?

Some battles aren't worth it.

Unless she is removing the child unreasonably (ie sick and you where not available)

Or the school is reporting its disturbing the child's progress or others, it's probley not worth it.
 

JadeGoldCoast

Well-Known Member
7 October 2017
179
4
394
Hi Stepmumreeree, sorry you're going through all of that, it's not great. Luckily (I guess) you're still in court and all of this can be documented. Some mother's (and i'm sure fathers) just don't see the damage they are doing to their kids unfortunately.

Gunnerzzzz I agree. We decided not to speak to the mother about it but have spoken to the deputy principle regarding this and the mother discouraging the child from school and keeping him home. While they cannot get involved as such they have advised they will try to encourage the child to attend school and give him rewards etc so that we feel is going to help.
 

ATE000Rosemary

Well-Known Member
9 May 2021
28
1
124
A weirdo, or possibly just a loving Mum who's having a hard time being away from her child. Not every action is an attempt to annoy your ex.
This mum then need to seek for mental help. I believe if the child is not in father's carer she would not show up in school until pick up time.