NSW Married but Husband Not Contributing - Separation?

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14 May 2015
I have been married for 10 years now. Love marriage! My problems in life has always been and still is a jobless husband! He does not like to work, does not like to be directed, does not like any one to tell him what to do. He is the king of his life. He listens to me if I repeat myself when I need help with the kids. He simply does not listen.

My life story will be a very expensive book, but long story short, I am confused on what to do: leave it or live with it!

I have been working from day one I came to Australia. I got into a stage where I was working 8 hours in a day with 2 hours travel both way, then directly go to university and study till 9pm 3 days a week and also run a business with a small kid.

Probably he sees that I am a workaholic person who pays the bills, finished mortgage for the house, bought investment property, and runs a business and he does not want to get out of his comfort zone.

Because I have been saying and repeating myself to him to sleep and wake up on time, eat with me at the proper time, go and find a work, day is for working, night is for sleeping, stop watching porn movies, stop watching sex websites and girls' photo. I now found myself into a stage where I feel I have no feelings of love and care about him any more, and can't wait to have a day without him, but because now we got 2 kids which lock both of us in this relationship and we can not leave one another....

Can someone tell me what to do? I have more sad days than more nice days in life...what to do?

I wish I had no kids I could have just walked out, but now my life is difficult and complicated having kids to break it. Some days when he is a nice person and plays with kids and listen to me and we have nice days, I feel I am the luckiest person on the planet and I start feeling guilty that maybe the problem is mine. I am not giving enough to all, but when I get a day bad, I again blame myself to why I have been living this life for such a long..

I was a girl before marriage that I had no minute not to laugh, but now I lost my smiles and happiness....when I tell him "can you work and get out of house?", he tells me, "have I told you to run your business, it's your choice to run your business and be busy that is how you are crazy woman who can not sit in one place wants to work and work...."

I wake up at 6am with 2 kids and between 6am to 7.30. I manage both kids in the morning and between 7.30am to 8am iI repeat myself by saying wake up wake up help me with my son as I am busy with my daughter and finally he wakes up and helps me with the kids in the morning but as soon as I leave with both kids to drop them to childcare he is back to bed at home till probably mid day or late 1 or 2pm, so he has 8 hours every day 4 days a week doing nothing sitting at home....i should admit that after so many discussion and fighting i made him to take care of home organization to clean and keep tidy and he does that now a bit.

I hate to see man sitting home do nothing.

Can someone tell me what to do please? I don't want to lose my kids!


Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
The circumstances you've described seem to be a domestic dispute, rather than a legal one. It's not until parties are absolutely unable to reach agreement that the Family Law Act 1975 will provide an option for intervention, and in that case, it only has jurisdiction over a small number of issues - namely divorce, children's matters and property settlement.

Have you considered marriage counselling to try and address the problems?