Hello.
Last year, my 10-year-old's mum moved overseas. My daughter stayed with me.
I have attempted mediation with no success and have also used a lawyer to attempt to create a care and parenting plan, which my ex has not followed up in this process and it has been dragging on for over 6 months' time.
Last draft was written up by me and my lawyer and sent by my lawyer to her where the email discussions between me and my ex was answered with 'Thanks, I will show my lawyer". That was August.
I actually don't think she has a lawyer.
Unfortunately because I live in a rural area, my lawyer is not a family law specialist and I am not sure about her full knowledge.
Anyway, even though my ex has not come back with anything but anger in response to the care plan. I wish to try to do everything right and fair. So in regards to phone contact, my ex gave my daughter a mobile phone with Skype on it telling her to call whenever she pleases.
At first we tried her having the phone always available but she was going on to play games and using it at poor times, not actually to call her mum. And previously, we have always had very strict screen time rules at home. It just didn't work. My lawyer advised it was unreasonable to expect a child to have full mobile phone/internet access.
I agree that she can call when she pleases but I don't agree that the phone should be on all the time with full access, she has to ask to call.
We have told her mum this and have clarified that if she ever wishes to get in contact, just contact the home phone, mobile or email if she just wants to avoid me. We have also suggested set days, but all of it has been answered with anger (I just want to talk to my goddamn daughter when I please) and accusations of control. She wants to contact her daughter directly, on her terms and convenience. I get that, but it just doesn't work having the mobile device constantly on/available.
If relevant, my daughter rarely asks to contact mum and on weekends when I get her to Skype, I usually have to force her. I remain positive about the calls and regard them as important. I give my daughter privacy and never ask her to get off even though my ex is 100% percent convinced I am listening in and cutting calls short. If contact hasn't been made for some reason, her mum usually calls the home after about 7 to 10 days.
So my question is: What is usually considered reasonable contact? How often? Is once a week reasonable in Family Law? Should we be encouraging more contact? What do courts usually decide? Should we be forcing her to call?
I am happy to give more info on the details of the situation if required.
Last year, my 10-year-old's mum moved overseas. My daughter stayed with me.
I have attempted mediation with no success and have also used a lawyer to attempt to create a care and parenting plan, which my ex has not followed up in this process and it has been dragging on for over 6 months' time.
Last draft was written up by me and my lawyer and sent by my lawyer to her where the email discussions between me and my ex was answered with 'Thanks, I will show my lawyer". That was August.
I actually don't think she has a lawyer.
Unfortunately because I live in a rural area, my lawyer is not a family law specialist and I am not sure about her full knowledge.
Anyway, even though my ex has not come back with anything but anger in response to the care plan. I wish to try to do everything right and fair. So in regards to phone contact, my ex gave my daughter a mobile phone with Skype on it telling her to call whenever she pleases.
At first we tried her having the phone always available but she was going on to play games and using it at poor times, not actually to call her mum. And previously, we have always had very strict screen time rules at home. It just didn't work. My lawyer advised it was unreasonable to expect a child to have full mobile phone/internet access.
I agree that she can call when she pleases but I don't agree that the phone should be on all the time with full access, she has to ask to call.
We have told her mum this and have clarified that if she ever wishes to get in contact, just contact the home phone, mobile or email if she just wants to avoid me. We have also suggested set days, but all of it has been answered with anger (I just want to talk to my goddamn daughter when I please) and accusations of control. She wants to contact her daughter directly, on her terms and convenience. I get that, but it just doesn't work having the mobile device constantly on/available.
If relevant, my daughter rarely asks to contact mum and on weekends when I get her to Skype, I usually have to force her. I remain positive about the calls and regard them as important. I give my daughter privacy and never ask her to get off even though my ex is 100% percent convinced I am listening in and cutting calls short. If contact hasn't been made for some reason, her mum usually calls the home after about 7 to 10 days.
So my question is: What is usually considered reasonable contact? How often? Is once a week reasonable in Family Law? Should we be encouraging more contact? What do courts usually decide? Should we be forcing her to call?
I am happy to give more info on the details of the situation if required.