NSW Ex Disrupting Shared Care - Call FACS?

[Louise too]

Please help me again!

My ex is now refusing to take back the kids again until Wednesday because of her low funds. Or she will take them back sooner if I drop them off with cash. I agree to her terms of property settlement and she gets her car back that she refuses to pay for from the sale of the house (claiming should be part of the spousal maintenance).

I have kids every weekend as well as Thursday afternoon until 8.30 pm. I give her more than the required child support, $250 weekly instead of $180. I pay for all school expenses, excursions, school sports, textbooks, dental, outside school sports ($150 weekly).

This is the 2nd time she has done this. There are always issues with dropping off the kids on Sunday afternoons to her, claiming she is too tired to have them or has to work (when she doesn’t) and the Sunday just went. She refuses to answer the door to collect kids!

Now I have kids indefinitely until she is ready to have them. In the meantime, I can't work because I have to take kids to school, etc. She is even refusing to leave out their Tuesday school uniforms!

This has been ongoing for 18 months.

Do I call facs to get her help! I have tried talking to her family, etc. but they are all refusing to help.

What can I do?

 

[Atticus]

She's still playing you. Did you get around to talking to your solicitor about getting child services involved to pay her a visit as suggest in previous posts?

 

[Louise too]

She's still playing you. Did you get around to talking to your solicitor about getting child services involved to pay her a visit as suggest in previous posts?

Yes. The solicitor basically wrote a letter stating that not returning the children in exchange for money and if the behaviour continues, I will phone CSA.

So it's happening again! So do you think this warrants a call to CSA?

Do you know the role of CSA? What they can do?

Is there any urgent order I can file so the kids are either with me or their mum? Kids think they are with me then with the mum. It’s really upsetting for them. And this will get worse when she receives a letter of offer from my lawyer today.

 

[Atticus]

Clearly she has ignored the letter from your solicitor, which is why I suggested getting child services involved... You mentioned numerous times in your last thread about upsetting this is to the kids having the mother dump them on you with no notice for any amount of time... Doubtless it is causing psychological harm to these kids... Involving child services will mean she will be informed that this behaviour has to stop... Child services can also get involved at family court level as well if necessary..

I'm afraid that this is just going to continue until you use that big stick and she realises that there WILL be consequences for this nonsense

 

[Louise too]

Ok. Thank you for your time in replying.
Ok looks like call to csa will have to be made.

 

[Atticus]

Call family and child services first. CSA won't be talking to her about her behaviour. CSA is just a collection agency for child support nothing more. It's FACS that need to be notified of what's going on

 

[sammy01]

I'd call CSA = tell them you have the kids full time. Do that asap.
Forget FACS they can be more trouble than they're worth.

Help us out - has the ex communicated in writing she will only accept the kids back if you give her money? If she has communicated it in writing, then I reckon she's inviting you to keep them and you're best to keep them in your care, the kids don't need all this crap.

 

[Atticus]

I think I will have to respectfully disagree with Sammy01 on this occasion...

Perhaps if you have had continual full time care for several weeks, CSA may look at altering child support. But that's not the case at the moment... They will simply call her, she will say no he dosen't have full-time care, and that will end the matter for them...

FACS, while I agree may not be perfect, are the best and fastest option at this point to get her to realise what she is doing is psychologically harmful to the kids, and that there are consequences if it continues. If you call them, FACS will have to look into it, and ASAP... All their records are admissible in court if it ever comes to that

 

[sammy01]

So let me explain, this guy is paying child support based on an incorrect care %. He has more care than csa are assessing him at. In fact, he is probably entitled to some family tax benefit if his care % goes above 35%. By contacting CSA he is putting the ex in a position where if she continues to play games it will cost her money. If she is on the single parent payment she could lose that too because she is obliged to communicate any change of circumstances... Might give her a good reason to start playing nice.

Yep - FAC's will have to look into it. If you think CSA is exceptionally talented at failing to follow their own rules, wait till you see how dodgy FACS can be at doing their job impartially and in accordance with their rules... I'd steer clear of Facs and Docs. Unless you want to risk the kids being taken from both parents and put into foster care.

 

[Atticus]

I'd call CSA = tell them you have the kids full time. Do that asap.

The above is what I was responding to... He doesn't have full time care.... That will get shot down immediately... In fact I don't think we even know what his assessed care % is

So let me explain, this guy is paying child support based on an incorrect care %. He has more care than csa are assessing him at. In fact, he is probably entitled to some family tax benefit if his care % goes above 35%. By contacting CSA he is putting the ex in a position where if she continues to play games it will cost her money.

The mother is showing scant regard to how her impulsive behavior is affecting these kids. In fact, it's highly likely that the only reason she is not stopping dad from seeing the kids at all and claiming 100% care is because he is a cheap and reliable carer when she has things to do or wants a break.... That could change in the blink of an eye if you start using child support as a tool to influence her behavior, and correct me if I'm wrong, but her BEHAVIOR seems to be the big issue for the kids and the poster

Yep - FAC's will have to look into it. If you think CSA is exceptionally talented at failing to follow their own rules, wait till you see how dodgy FACS can be at doing their job impartially and in accordance with their rules..

It's not that I think CSA has a problem and FACS doe's not, it's just that they do different things and FACS are much more likely to have an influence on her behavior than CSA ... Sure if FACS walked into a house with kids crawling through their own faeces and playing with used syringes a child may be removed fairly swiftly, BUT, that isn't the case here. I'm sure the poster can explain the situation... FACS have to go through quite a process before removing a child from a parent unless they are in clear threat of physical danger...

I still think they are the best option in this circumstance to bring some pressure to bear on the current shenanigans, at least in the short term..