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NSW Enormous Child Support After Children Refused to Come Visit?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by alli82c, 20 August 2017.

  1. alli82c

    alli82c Active Member

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    Hi,
    I am writing about child support. I 100% agree that father's need to support their children, however I need some help on the following. My partner has 3 children (aged 17,12 and 10). Court orders state that the children are with their father 4 nights a fortnight (about 5 months ago the 12 year old asked to spend another night a week with her father and was coming 6 nights a fortnight.

    Because of this decision, the mother kicked the daughter out of home for a week. The daughter stayed with us during this time and encouraged her to fix things with her mother as we believe in children needing both parents). About a year ago the 16-year-old, now 17, refused to come because he did not like that his dad pulled him up on his bad behaviour.

    About 8 months ago, the 10-year-old refused to come because the father told him he needed to treat people with respect (it takes minor things to lose the children because the mother encourages no communication). Recently the 12-year-old has refused to come because the father would not pay for something she wanted (on top of child support he also pays for dancing, sport and recently took her on a holiday. Her mother does not let the child do these things if the father doesn't pay, so he does).

    The mother of these children hates the fact her ex husband is in a new relationship (despite being separated for 7 years and divorced for 5) and encourages the children to refuse to go to the fathers.

    My partner is now expected to pay $850 a fortnight for children who refuse to see him. The mother has encouraged this and obviously enjoys being paid huge money. None of the children do extra curricular activities while with their mother because she refuses this. My partner is a school principal and is a role model to so many children, yet due to the mothers actions and jealousy, his own children refuse to see him.

    Where can we go with this? He's already gone to court and we can't afford to go back (court orders say children are with their dad 4 nights a fortnight). Should he have to pay $850 a fortnight to a mother who encourages the children not to come and says things like 'you're breaking my heart talking to your dad '. Like I said, I agree with paying some support, but $850 a fortnight is outrageous.

    Thanks for your help :)
     
  2. Rob Legat - SBPL

    LawTap Verified Lawyer

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    I'm not a family lawyer, but I have some experience in child support matters. I take it the rate of child support is worked out on the current parenting orders? If so, that's what has to be paid. They don't take into account the 'quality' of the relationship between the kids or the parents. It's all based on a formula, and that's what you pay.
     
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  3. alli82c

    alli82c Active Member

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    Hi Rob,

    Thanks for your reply. He is paying on not having the children at all. Court orders state he has them 4/14 nights but the mother has called child support and said they are with her 100% of the time so he is paying 100% regardless of what the court orders say.
     
  4. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    CSA follow court orders - kinda... They also base it on actual care. What should dad do? Dispute the care %.

    Have a read
    2.2.4 Disputed Care Arrangements | Child Support Guide

    Call relationships Australia and book in for mediation. Write to ex and inform her that she needs to comply with the orders. Stop paying for anything other than child support. So tell CSA that you're disputing the care % - read the bit about interim decisions...

    You can have 14 weeks where they won't change the $$ as long as you can show you're doing all you can to try and get the court orders re-instated...

    I'm a humble English teacher, not a principle... so I reckon he must be pretty smart. Look you can apply to court without representation.

    This site can help
    Service Kit (do it yourself kit) - Federal Circuit Court of Australia

    The reality.... once kids reach a certain age (12) they get some say in what happens, all the more so as they get older.... But I'd still make the application. Serving the ex with a court notification might scare her into playing nice
     
  5. alli82c

    alli82c Active Member

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    Thank you Sam. The mother is very manipulative so I'm not sure how it'll go. Thank you :)
     
  6. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    So don't be manipulative. Be strategic... 14 weeks with no additional $ might be enough to motivate mum to think it is all too hard. But please ask CSA what happens after 14 weeks of no change? Will he owe backpay for 14 weeks? Sorry just not sure how that works.

    Apply pressure...

    Plan b. Accept it. Write to ex suggesting dinner out with the kids once a week. You can't win arguments with teens and a crazy mum. But any contact is a win... next time mum says no to a kid you can expect kid to com running... shitty parenting but probably no worse than mum's antics.
     
  7. alli82c

    alli82c Active Member

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    It's really difficult. He saw his son at a swimming carnival and the son turned away and wouldn't even say hello. There mother stopped the daughter getting a passport so she couldn't come on a family holiday, like I said she kicked her out of home, won't take her to dancing or anything, boys stopped football because she wouldn't take them and the dad always did it.

    The difference is that the father promotes a healthy relationship with both parents. The reason the daughter got kicked out was because she wanted to stay with us an extra night each week and the mother wouldn't have that. The while system needs to be looked at.

    When his eldest son turns 18 if the mother applies for maintenance to be paid until he finally he's school can that happen if the child doesn't want anything to do with the father and she has 100% care? With child support and her wage, plus government funds, she actually takes home more then my partner. It's crazy
     
  8. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    ok so CSA continue to collect until the kid turns 18 or finishes school... that is fair enough.

    But nope mum doesn't get more than dad based on wages, gov't funds and child support. Not unless mum is scamming.... The system is pretty fair I reckon... What isn't fair is the way folks abuse the system and find loopholes....

    Trust me I get it... my 3 kids live with me... I get $0 child support from their tax evading mother.
     
  9. alli82c

    alli82c Active Member

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    I am actually receiving CS from my ex but I don't make him pay anything near what they say he should. There is absolutely no way my children need the amount CS says he should pay me and they do lots of extra curricular things and never go without. The whole system is a flop.
     
  10. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    You receive CSA from your ex? look you're one up on me. Like I said I'm a teacher. I earn $90 000 pa. My kids live with me 90% of the time and I get no child support.

    The system isn't a flop, people abusing it is the flop.
     
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