NSW Working things out

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familynfriends

Active Member
15 April 2020
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So my x and I are working things out and wanting to get back together we have interim orders but now just want to leave it as is and not worry about final orders do we have to proceed or can we just tell our solicitors to drop it all and leave everything as is?
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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Great that you are working things out..... Obviously you are not compelled to follow orders if you are no longer separated, but rather than filing a notice of discontinuance, perhaps better to err on the side of caution & just instruct solicitors to suspend any further action until further notice...
 

familynfriends

Active Member
15 April 2020
9
0
31
Great that you are working things out..... Obviously you are not compelled to follow orders if you are no longer separated, but rather than filing a notice of discontinuance, perhaps better to err on the side of caution & just instruct solicitors to suspend any further action until further notice...
Ok can that be done no matter what the circumstances are....we were very bitter at each other while being separated and have made some rather nasty and untrue statements about each other on the notice of risk form
 

Atticus

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6 February 2019
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nasty and untrue statements about each other on the notice of risk form
Among other things, a NOR with allegations of FV involving a child having been filed carries with it mandatory reporting to child welfare agencies.... You would have also both need to have have knowingly sworn a false affidavit.... If the interim orders are somehow a reflection of the allegations made in the NOR & supporting affidavits then the whole case should be discontinued & orders revoked.... I recommend that you both inform your lawyers that you provided false statements in support of a false NOR.... The lawyers can file a notice of discontinuance that you both agree to so there can be no application for legal costs...

Hopefully you can work things out, but if in the future you think you have to lie in order to give yourself an advantage, remember it's ultimately the kid/s that suffer, costs get blown out due to the added complexity it adds to the case, & you have to keep adding to the lies to support the initial ones... PLEASE DON'T DO IT AGAIN !
 

Poidah

Well-Known Member
9 November 2017
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Qld
Atticus, if an affivadit were filed and accepted, is there a risk of such allegations to appear on the state child safety checks? Unlikely with the national police check but the optional applied state based ones seems possible.
 

familynfriends

Active Member
15 April 2020
9
0
31
Among other things, a NOR with allegations of FV involving a child having been filed carries with it mandatory reporting to child welfare agencies.... You would have also both need to have have knowingly sworn a false affidavit.... If the interim orders are somehow a reflection of the allegations made in the NOR & supporting affidavits then the whole case should be discontinued & orders revoked.... I recommend that you both inform your lawyers that you provided false statements in support of a false NOR.... The lawyers can file a notice of discontinuance that you both agree to so there can be no application for legal costs...

Hopefully you can work things out, but if in the future you think you have to lie in order to give yourself an advantage, remember it's ultimately the kid/s that suffer, costs get blown out due to the added complexity it adds to the case, & you have to keep adding to the lies to support the initial ones... PLEASE DON'T DO IT AGAIN !
I need to fix up my wording ..........The allegations made are not entirely untrue but they were greatly exaggerated my partner he did this as he thought he would not have any chance of a fair outcome and in turn, I then retaliated with exaggerating my side of the story.
We both know this is wrong and should not have done this but when you are angry you some times say and do things you shouldn't.
I'm am sure we are not the first or only couple who has done this, still not the right thing to do I know.
The allegations made in the NOR had been made to FACS before we started court proceedings, I was investigated and cleared of all allegations by FACS.
The day before court my partner and I spoke and negotiated and also decide that we had both been ridiculous and wanted to sort out our relationship as well as our parental responsibilities ( our relationship has been great until around 3 years ago when we had a series of events that made our lives extremely stressful and instead of having each other back we turned on each other )
So this is where we are at now, we would both like to stop proceedings get ourselves and our family some counselling and find the best way to move forward but we were unsure if that could happen.
The NOR includes some drug and alcohol allegations which as I said I have been cleared off the other allegation was that my brother was a risk but that had been greatly exaggerated and has been dealt with and there isn't an issue now.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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I'm am sure we are not the first or only couple who has done this, still not the right thing to do I know.
You're certainly not... HUGE waste of time, court resources (tax payers money) added legal costs to both parties, kids get dragged through family conferences & in their mind, have to choose a side....The consequences go on, but I think you get the point.... Lesson learnt I hope..
we would both like to stop proceedings get ourselves and our family some counselling and find the best way to move forward but we were unsure if that could happen.
As far as stopping proceedings, a notice of discontinuance that you both agree to can do that. Cost should be low.... Alternatively you just leave things as they are, but if things get to the point that separation occurs again & things get nasty again, you will have probably to deal with the case pending (interim orders) along with all the documents & affidavits filed.

If you file a discontinuance but do find yourself not being able to save the relationship in the future, you will have hopefully learnt from this & just agree to a parenting plan or apply for parenting consent orders without having the case pending to worry about..

Get yourselves a good relationship counsellor... if relationship can't be saved, you can have the counsellor help you through separation, how you want it dealt with in terms of property & children. Much better approach than lawyers at 10 paces & a lot less expensive, on all levels
 
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Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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Atticus, if an affivadit were filed and accepted, is there a risk of such allegations to appear on the state child safety checks?
NOR triggers mandatory reporting to that sates child welfare agency... Dunno if affidavitt material forms part of that but I doubt it if they are just untested allegations... May be different if NOR includes actual police charges or supporting welfare agency reports..