NSW Waiting for Response to Initiating Application - What Next Under Family Law?

[AllForHer]

It will appear on Comcourts as filed if it has been filed in person, but you won't be able to view the document until it is served. If she has filed digitally, then the document should be viewable as a PDF.

A change of solicitor doesn't mean much. Many firms will allocate resources where they are needed, rather than allocate clients to specific solicitors.

In any case, don't get too riled up about what she includes in her response. You're very early in the game. A lot will change before you are finished.

 

[Mylife]

Our solicitor emailed us copies today. No real surprises. Just lots of contradictions.

She is wanting 1/2 holiday time only and only a week or two for Christmas holidays. Surely we can get some term time as well. It's a long time in between visits otherwise

 

[AllForHer]

What's the travel distance between households? How old are the kids?

 

[Mylife]

It's a 1 hour flight. Children are 12.5 years.

 

[sammy01]

Look, don't over think things. Oh, and guess what? She is lying. No, she isn't waiting for her solicitor to tell her what to do. She is just saying that because it is nicer than saying, "Nope, you're not seeing the kid."

So let me guess why the solicitor has changed. Because she didn't like what the first solicitor was telling her so she insisted on a new one.

My ex went through 5 or maybe 6 solicitors in 2 years. Why? Well, they have her good advice, but it wasn't the advice she wanted to hear. But it might just as likely be that her old solicitor changed jobs or something. So don't fret.

Look legal aid really do want to get things sorted quickly and they will pull the pin on her if she is being a twit. So for the minute you just have to play along.

 

[Mylife]

We do have the response to our application and her affidavit now. Of course, she makes it sound like she has offered the children time with us on multiple occasions and we've passed up that opportunity.

Now, in her orders, all she is prepared to give is half holidays and only two weeks of Christmas holidays. No other time whatsoever. As I said, that means we go months without seeing them.

I'm concerned that the magistrate will make that the interim orders and then we will be stuck with that for however long.

 

[AllForHer]

My husband's ex said in an affidavit that she 'offered' my husband plenty of opportunities to see their child, but 'he never took any those opportunities up'. Doesn't that sound like a good mother and a bad father? The reality was that she refused to let him see their child unless it was just him, in her house, alone so she could keep aggressively trying to reconcile their former marriage, without the pesky new partner (me) around to witness or interact with the child. My husband repeatedly refused these 'offers' because the ex would become physically abusive - throwing everything from hot food and mobile phones to her fists at him - when he refused her advances, and he didn't want his young child being exposed to such violent outbursts from her mother.

At 12.5 years of age and only a one-hour flight, you should be confident seeking two or three weekends per school term, as well as half all holidays, including the long summer holidays in December/January. The matter of who moved away first will basically determine what you should consider requesting in terms of costs - if she moved, she pays half or more, if you moved, you pay all. Make a provision for Father's Day weekend as well.

If the judge makes interim orders for half holidays, you may have to tolerate it for a while, but don't hesitate to request more frequent contact at every interim hearing.

 

[Mylife]

The "who moved" is complicated. My husband did on the understanding she would follow shortly after. She didn't. She then moved an additional 1200ish Klm further away. He then moved back to the original place to be closer for contact. Didn't happen. Came back to original place he moved to. She then also went back to original place! Confused yet?

She did move initially against the father's wishes. We have email evidence showing that he disagreed. She claimed she was on holidays. Funny how a holiday turned into your new place of residence 2 weeks later!

 

[sammy01]

2 Thoughts:

1 - Can you guys move back to be closer to the kids, then go for 50/50?
2. While it might be an hour flight, there still could be hours of travel to the airport / booking in etc, etc. That said, half holidays and one weekend a month or thereabouts is still reasonable.

My kids live with me. Their mum is a twit. She really is, but the kids spend slightly more than half all holidays with her. She also has them for the entire 2 weeks in winter. She also has them for 2 weeks a year during school time (not happy about it) and for 3 extended 3 day weekends a year. She had to have slightly more than half holidays so she felt she got something better than me.

Look, if you're not prepared to move back near her then just get to court, no magistrate is gonna refuse half holidays unless there are accusations of abuse....

 

[Mylife]

It's not the holiday time we are concerned about. It's the weekend time in between