NSW Waiting for Response to Initiating Application - What Next Under Family Law?

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Mylife

Well-Known Member
16 December 2015
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If weekend time doesn't happen, what are the chances of asking for all holidays? With the exception of Christmas, 2 -3 weeks?

I understand the mother should have some holiday time, etc, however, she works during holidays (except Christmas) so the children either go to vacation care or are home alone.

This has really got me rattled and worried we will end up locked into half holidays only for the interim orders.
 

Mylife

Well-Known Member
16 December 2015
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I'm not quite sure what to expect on the first court date. Applicant has filed an initiating application, interim/finals orders, etc. Respondent has now done the same. The orders asked for by both parties are quite different. One wants monthly weekend time and some holidays time. The other offering half holiday time only. (They live quite a distance apart).

What is likely to happen? What will they give as an interim? What the Respondent or applicant wants? How do they decide?
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
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Nobody here can predict the outcome of your case. Every single case is different, there's no real formula, it's all decided case-by-case.

What I can say is that the court decides all parenting orders based on what it determines is in the best interests of the child. The full list of considerations is under section 60CC of the Family Law Act 1975, which I suggest reading, but it's generally accepted by the court that it's in a child's best interests to have a meaningful relationship with both parents. It's going to be difficult for the kids to embrace and enjoy everything your household and the people in it have to offer if they're only going to be spending five weeks a year with you, during holiday time which is when the rules and 'daily life' routines that kids need from their parents go out the window.

If you lived closer, I'd say one weekend a month and half holidays is not enough, but with the challenge of distance taken into account, one weekend a month and half holidays is a reasonable ask. But, I'm not the court, and it's impossible to predict outcomes. They're rarely ever what you expect.

What you can expect on the first day of court is two or three minutes in front of the judge. He'll ask you a few questions, probably about when the kids saw you last and why they're not seeing you more, how you plan to facilitate more time if you live so far away, and then he'll put in some interim orders and maybe order you back to mediation to try and negotiate an outcome by consent in the meantime. Since the holidays are over now and the next period of holidays isn't until March/April, you might end up with one weekend a month in the meantime, since the court might not want you to go another three or four months without seeing the kids, as would happen in the case of just half holidays.

But don't get too discouraged if the interim hearing doesn't pan out as you hope. The first interim orders we had were identical to the parenting plan that had prompted my husband to file an initiating application in the first place - he went from seeing his daughter one overnight each week and two nights every second weekend to only seeing her every second weekend. The reason for this was because it was the only proof the judge had of their ability to reach an agreement. My husband was understandably crushed, particularly as the mother gloated at length about her 'win' in the first mention, but we persisted and ended up with week-about care arrangements - three nights more than what had been in place before, and with five fewer changeovers.

So don't dwell on it too much if it doesn't go your way in the first instance. You never know what the court will do.
 

Mylife

Well-Known Member
16 December 2015
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Thank you.

I understand no one can predict the outcome, but just an indication of what may happen is helpful.
As you say, if we don't get weekend time, it will be April before seeing them again. So, virtually 3.5 months as we last saw them in January.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Yep can't predict outcomes. You'll likely get the majority of holidays? Hard to predict but I'd guess no.

So, here is the thing. Maybe accepting half holidays, having a provision that she can give you first option for extra holiday time if she wants and you guys can have Sat night with kids if you travel to their location. Small compromises but think about this - is it worth the grief of running a whole court case when the difference between what she is offering and what you're likely to get is about 1--12 nights a year?

Seriously, work it out. You're arguing over not much...

Worth thinking about
 

Mylife

Well-Known Member
16 December 2015
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Yes, I understand where you're coming from. However, there are half siblings that are also needing time together. For us to travel to them it would involve airfares for additional people, accommodation costs, car hire, etc, etc. It's just not viable financially.
 

Mylife

Well-Known Member
16 December 2015
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We have now offered up 2 or 3 different proposals as alternatives. Unfortunately, once again, no response whatsoever to the proposals. It seems the option she is offering is the only one.

We have offered to travel to them every second month and spend 4 nights. E.g.: collect children from school Thursday, drop to school Friday, spend the weekend and drop back to school Monday. That way their father gets to participate in school drops, etc, no disruption to weekend sports and no travel required for the children.

Still, not acceptable apparently. I'm not quite sure what else we can negotiate on?
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Yep, look I think you're dealing with someone who will not compromise. But people like that are often even less impressed when someone else tells them what they have to do and that person is the magistrate, and if you have to go that far, they might as well go for as much as you can rather than compromising and wind up with less.

Pity 'cause you're both gonna blow a whole lot of money and once you get orders that are kind of like what you've been suggesting, you can say to her 'told ya so', but it won't bring the money back.
 

Mylife

Well-Known Member
16 December 2015
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Exactly!

The other party is legal aid funded, so money is no concern to them. I'd much prefer the money to be going to the children's education or something worthwhile.

Not quite sure how they've managed to get legal aid. Full time income and child support in the $20K range. Makes me wonder.