NSW Help with Lodging an Application in Family Law?

[nat 2015]

Not all kids are the same, but there are some universal truths in development that can be pretty generally applied based on age.

My daughter is 15 months old. Solids and cow's milk have been her primary sources of nutrition since she was 12 months old, and that's fairly standard. Lots of mothers continue breastfeeding well and truly beyond 12 months, but certainly not as the child's primary source of nutrition - breastmilk alone doesn't have enough iron to fulfill a baby's nutritional needs beyond about six months, and while beneficial, breastmilk for a 16.5-month-old is a matter of personal preference, rather than critically necessary nutritional intake.

More than likely, mum is still nursing him just at night, which is pretty common, but bub won't suffer if you substitute the evening 'comfort drink' for cow's milk. It just make take some getting used to for him, that's all.

I don't think the breastfeeding will be the issue. It'll be the fact that the kid has hardly spent any time away from mum (but you did care for him for the first nine months, right? That's more than half his life at this stage). I'm not saying you'll get the overnights, but there is no harm in asking. Alternatively, you could just ask for eight hours on each second Saturday and Sunday for a period of maybe three months without the sleepover, then increase to the overnight after three months.

Obviously this is coming from a person who hasn't breastfed - do your research. A child who has been nursed since birth is expected to just to go straight to a "substitute" choice... What a joke.

My daughter still nurses and she just turned 2. My ex is very supportive of this. Do you know why it's not about "me", its about the child and what makes them happy and content. Breastfeeding beyond 12 months has many many beneficial benefits for the child.

 

[sammy01]

I take objection Nat. Why? Well if the assumption you're making is that unless you have breastfed, you can't express an opinion... So what, unless you've had a vasectomy, you can't express an opinion on that one?

Half your luck, your ex is supportive. This guy has interim court orders that provide 2 measly hours with his kid. And the ex is causing that to be halved. Does that sound like a supportive ex? Hell no... Does it sound like she is the sort of individual who would claim breast feeding as an excuse to keep the kid away from dad? Hell yes... And that is no joke...

Nor is it a joke for someone to suggest that solids could be introduced at 16 months... Not 'straight' and not forced... Simply introducing solids at 16 months seems a reasonable suggestion or at least a reasonable conversation. Hang on a minute - 16 months, nope I take it all back, solids start at like 6 months...

Now mis-opinionated, you suggested that people need to do their research... That statement works on an assumption. That assumption? That you have done your research. Clearly you have not...

Breastfeeding rates in Australia

Seems everything in the last post is basically in line with the 'research'. Ouch.

Oh there is one bit in the article I do disagree with as far as the 'research' goes... The article states breastfeeding beyond 12 months is a choice "for as long as the mother and child desire." Generally, I agree, but in situations of separation??? See, I'm a cynic... I think some people and all of them are women... (grenade) use beast feeding as an excuse to keep an eager father away from his new born bundle of joy.... So I'd like the article to read -for as long as the mother and child desire as long as the intention is not to screw dad over....

Oh what the heck... Sure breast is best up to 12 months... BUT after 12 months, in situations such as separated parents, I reckon there is a bloody good argument to be had along the lines of weening off breast milk (not going STRAIGHT to a substitute" in order to facilitate more time with dad. YUP - I'm prioritising a child's opportunity to have meaningful DAD time ahead of breast milk.

hold on to ya hats folks - something is about to happen here that has NEVER happened before. I'm gonna praise my ex.... See after a hell of a battle she actually asked me to take the little one overnight. He was about 10 months old... She expressed milk, (so the whole straight to a 'substitute' argument is bung) she also gave me some of her worn bed clothes to wrap near the child - her theory is they will smell like her and the kid will like it... AND she told me that she will get up early and drive back from her night in the big smoke if the kid needs it.

To summarise - a child of 16 months should not have breast feeding used as an excuse to keep dad away or to prevent overnight care....

 

[AllForHer]

Ironically, I have breastfed, but carry on.

 

[Rod]

I agree with everyone.

Breast milk is good for infants - no question. And women should not be afraid to do so or put down because they breastfeed past 12 months or even 2 or 3 years.

Also, women should not withhold infants from a dad because they are breastfeeding. Expressing milk is entirely manageable for many women. And wet-nursing is an option.

 

[AllForHer]

The bottom line is this: a 16-month-old does not *need* breastmilk.

There are some benefits to long-term breastfeeding, sure, but there are even more longer-term benefits to a child having a loving, healthy relationship with both parents. The tender years are critical for parent-child bonds. Breastfeeding for a 16-month-old - or a two-year-old - should not supersede parental care and relationship development.

 

[nat 2015]

I take objection Nat. Why? Well if the assumption you're making is that unless you have breastfed, you can't express an opinion... So what, unless you've had a vasectomy, you can't express an opinion on that one?

Half your luck, your ex is supportive. This guy has interim court orders that provide 2 measly hours with his kid. And the ex is causing that to be halved. Does that sound like a supportive ex? Hell no... Does it sound like she is the sort of individual who would claim breast feeding as an excuse to keep the kid away from dad? Hell yes... And that is no joke...

Nor is it a joke for someone to suggest that solids could be introduced at 16 months... Not 'straight' and not forced... Simply introducing solids at 16 months seems a reasonable suggestion or at least a reasonable conversation. Hang on a minute - 16 months, nope I take it all back, solids start at like 6 months...

Now mis-opinionated, you suggested that people need to do their research... That statement works on an assumption. That assumption? That you have done your research. Clearly you have not...

Breastfeeding rates in Australia

Seems everything in the last post is basically in line with the 'research'. Ouch.

Oh there is one bit in the article I do disagree with as far as the 'research' goes... The article states breastfeeding beyond 12 months is a choice "for as long as the mother and child desire." Generally, I agree, but in situations of separation??? See, I'm a cynic... I think some people and all of them are women... (grenade) use beast feeding as an excuse to keep an eager father away from his new born bundle of joy.... So I'd like the article to read -for as long as the mother and child desire as long as the intention is not to screw dad over....

Oh what the heck... Sure breast is best up to 12 months... BUT after 12 months, in situations such as separated parents, I reckon there is a bloody good argument to be had along the lines of weening off breast milk (not going STRAIGHT to a substitute" in order to facilitate more time with dad. YUP - I'm prioritising a child's opportunity to have meaningful DAD time ahead of breast milk.

hold on to ya hats folks - something is about to happen here that has NEVER happened before. I'm gonna praise my ex.... See after a hell of a battle she actually asked me to take the little one overnight. He was about 10 months old... She expressed milk, (so the whole straight to a 'substitute' argument is bung) she also gave me some of her worn bed clothes to wrap near the child - her theory is they will smell like her and the kid will like it... AND she told me that she will get up early and drive back from her night in the big smoke if the kid needs it.

To summarise - a child of 16 months should not have breast feeding used as an excuse to keep dad away or to prevent overnight care....

Seriously, mate, every situation is different and yes, I have done my research. It's called being a mum and knowing what is best for my daughter just as much as most dads do. Not all children are the same by the way every situation is different. I agree with only one thing - this dad deserves more time with his child and the child deserves more time with him.

 

[nat 2015]

I agree with everyone.

Breast milk is good for infants - no question. And women should not be afraid to do so or put down because they breastfeed past 12 months or even 2 or 3 years.

Also, women should not withhold infants from a dad because they are breastfeeding. Expressing milk is entirely manageable for many women. And wet-nursing is an option.

Wet nursing is an option - you're completely right Rod. Expressing is not for every woman and every baby.

 

[AllForHer]

Is there some legal precedent about breastfeeding to which I am not privy? Some amendment to the Family Law Act that includes breastfeeding as a consideration under section 60CC? A High Court decision that clarified the link between breastfeeding and children's rights to have a meaningful relationship with both parents?

Because I cannot otherwise fathom any other reason why this unnecessarily vitriolic discussion about breastfeeding is still going on, on a law forum.

 

[sammy01]

You have done your research? It is called being a mum? That makes you an expert about your child... No one else's.

 

[SamanthaJay]

All for her said: "Is there some legal precedent about breastfeeding to which I am not privy? Some amendment to the Family Law Act that includes breastfeeding as a consideration under section 60CC? A High Court decision that clarified the link between breastfeeding and children's rights to have a meaningful relationship with both parents?

Because I cannot otherwise fathom any other reason why this unnecessarily vitriolic discussion about breastfeeding is still going on, on a law forum."

I'm sure there isn't, but there should be. Breastfeeding is optimal in all cases. And as far as nutrition goes, it's unequaled. Even the World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond (that is copy and pasted from WHO).

I can certainly say that my 3 children were mostly breastfeed, complimented with other food up until around 2 years of age and the breastfeeding continued beyond that. They were never fed cows milk in any way, shape or form when they were at home. Cows milk is for young cows. Breastmilk is for humans. Mine are young adults now. I know the eldest continues not to partake of cows milk. The 2nd one may but he lives away from home so I'm not sure.

The youngest doesn't at home but he eats out so it's possible and that's his choice. I chose to feed them that way because it was optimal, as many other women choose to do and most of these women were/are not going through family law battles of care of the child.

Some women cope with the expressing and the child drinking expressed breast milk, many don't. Most of these women were/are not going through family law battles of care of the child.

I'm sad to think that I should consider myself and my children 'lucky' that their father was supportive of the breastfeeding relationship. I wasn't in the situation that Twooke, his ex and their child are in now.

It's not a belief, it's a fact when it comes to breastfeeding and the benefits.

Twooke, you sound supportive of the breastfeeding relationship between your little guy and his mum. I'm sure you will do the research and make a decision based on what you learn in regard to what you will request in your application.

Allforher and Sammy, you need to stop holding breastfeeding against women when it comes to family law.