Hi all,
Back again just with an update and some questions on where to go from here!
I have a 15-month-old son, who I haven't seen in 9 months. I had a first court appearance in October, which my ex did not turn up to, so the first directions hearing got reset for today. There is an AVO in place which I accepted without admission, although I really wish that I fought it now as her solicitor brought this up in every sentence he said today!
I received my ex's affidavit at 3:04 pm yesterday, so I had no chance to make a response. Not one truth was said and instead was a whole lot of lies and embellishments, which showed why I am the worst person to ever walk the earth, and that she was seeking a no contact order between my son and I.
In the notice of risk, she ticked all boxes saying I had done everything bad to our son including sexual abuse (her affidavit says "while I never witnessed anything sexual occurring, T (meaning me) would take longer than necessary changing nappies and often closed the door while doing so" as well as making sure I was the one that always bathed him!) Absolutely horrible to read!
When she said I was controlling - an example was that we once took our son to a football game and while we were there, I told him that one day he'll be playing for Sydney FC and bought him a Jersey and baby membership. She said that this showed that I would not let our son make his own choices in life and that I was placing pressure on not only our son but her as well to make sure he was a successful footballer and that I was controlling his choices into his future! There are a lot more "examples" in her affidavit just like these but don't want to go into too much detail.
The Judge ended up giving my son and I, 1, 2 hour supervised visit a week in a supervision centre, which I feel is nowhere near enough for a child of that age to bond with their parent. I cited a lot of journal articles and such in support of "less time, more frequently" for a child of my son's age, and the 11F convener agreed with my proposal, but our next hearing is at the start of March, with only 2 hours a week. I asked for there to be increases in time after the first month but this was declined as well.
Now, as happy and over the moon as I am that I will be allowed to see my son soon and reestablish our bond again, and have to accept this as a starting point... but my questions are:
1. How long my will I be made to be supervised for when getting to see my son? I am absolutely not a danger in the slightest, have my working with childrens check, go into primary schools once a week for coaching and training sessions and have done so for 5 years. I do holiday care and activities for primary aged children, have never been violent (except for my exes version of events of when I got an AVO), but I'm having to be supervised to see my own son!
2. What is there I can do between now and March to show that I am not a danger to our son so that I can get off this supervised contact and get more time with my boy? Will the supervisors reports be enough? Should I go through my exes affidavit and answer every paragraph she wrote and build up evidence against what she has said?
3. In my ex's application for the AVO, she claimed that I was physically violent to her the whole relationship, yet when she wrote her affidavit for family court, the only "example" of physical violence she alleged was the one that placed me on the AVO! Would I be able to use the statement she made when applying for the AVO (alleging multiple occasions of physical altercations) against her affidavit alleging only 1? I just ask this as I feel that these contradict each other!
Thanks in advance,
Back again just with an update and some questions on where to go from here!
I have a 15-month-old son, who I haven't seen in 9 months. I had a first court appearance in October, which my ex did not turn up to, so the first directions hearing got reset for today. There is an AVO in place which I accepted without admission, although I really wish that I fought it now as her solicitor brought this up in every sentence he said today!
I received my ex's affidavit at 3:04 pm yesterday, so I had no chance to make a response. Not one truth was said and instead was a whole lot of lies and embellishments, which showed why I am the worst person to ever walk the earth, and that she was seeking a no contact order between my son and I.
In the notice of risk, she ticked all boxes saying I had done everything bad to our son including sexual abuse (her affidavit says "while I never witnessed anything sexual occurring, T (meaning me) would take longer than necessary changing nappies and often closed the door while doing so" as well as making sure I was the one that always bathed him!) Absolutely horrible to read!
When she said I was controlling - an example was that we once took our son to a football game and while we were there, I told him that one day he'll be playing for Sydney FC and bought him a Jersey and baby membership. She said that this showed that I would not let our son make his own choices in life and that I was placing pressure on not only our son but her as well to make sure he was a successful footballer and that I was controlling his choices into his future! There are a lot more "examples" in her affidavit just like these but don't want to go into too much detail.
The Judge ended up giving my son and I, 1, 2 hour supervised visit a week in a supervision centre, which I feel is nowhere near enough for a child of that age to bond with their parent. I cited a lot of journal articles and such in support of "less time, more frequently" for a child of my son's age, and the 11F convener agreed with my proposal, but our next hearing is at the start of March, with only 2 hours a week. I asked for there to be increases in time after the first month but this was declined as well.
Now, as happy and over the moon as I am that I will be allowed to see my son soon and reestablish our bond again, and have to accept this as a starting point... but my questions are:
1. How long my will I be made to be supervised for when getting to see my son? I am absolutely not a danger in the slightest, have my working with childrens check, go into primary schools once a week for coaching and training sessions and have done so for 5 years. I do holiday care and activities for primary aged children, have never been violent (except for my exes version of events of when I got an AVO), but I'm having to be supervised to see my own son!
2. What is there I can do between now and March to show that I am not a danger to our son so that I can get off this supervised contact and get more time with my boy? Will the supervisors reports be enough? Should I go through my exes affidavit and answer every paragraph she wrote and build up evidence against what she has said?
3. In my ex's application for the AVO, she claimed that I was physically violent to her the whole relationship, yet when she wrote her affidavit for family court, the only "example" of physical violence she alleged was the one that placed me on the AVO! Would I be able to use the statement she made when applying for the AVO (alleging multiple occasions of physical altercations) against her affidavit alleging only 1? I just ask this as I feel that these contradict each other!
Thanks in advance,