Thanks.
At this point, I am wondering if the main concern I filed is actually documented with the courts, at which point it should be much smoother sailing. The ex-partner of wife's best friend has made death threats to both of them, and, of course, I have strong evidence to suggest that she has in fact moved to be much closer and increase time with this friend. It is all down in DVs, and he was in custody as recently as October for breaching his order, at which point I am hoping this is all recorded in the statement to get him locked up.
I do of course wonder about the potential for DV orders and such. After all, restricting somebody's rights to have a relationship with a member of their family is, of course, family violence. By taking a 2.5-year-old from her sleep to cease all contact with her father, is, of course, the pure definition of this. Not to mention the emotional abuse involved in using a child so young to inflict pain on myself, because of a failed relationship.
The only correspondence I have received so far, suggests that this is all to do with her own feelings and nothing to do with our daughter.
There is no arguing around whether it is or it isn't, but if I took that to court, 2 things would happen. 1, I would be laughed out of court. And 2, I would be seen as vindictive against my partner, and seeing as that action is not in the best interests of the child, it would go against me.
The system is a strange beast. Women are openly encouraged to take the exact actions that she has taken. Even encouraged to get a DV order immediately to increase chances of winning in court, if the time delay getting it there isn't already a case closer. Of course, the same steps are not suggested for a man, and if I was to have taken these actions, I would indeed be open for a DV order against me, and probably would be restricted to supervised visits.
Considering the main issues in our relationship were due to her "daddy" issues, it is a strange thing to then want your daughter to have no relationship with her father. The last time wife's dad was in town, he looked her in the eye and told her "you are worthless and you were nothing until a man came along". She has copped this since she was 12 years old from him.
Of course, I have dealt with her attitude that "I don't need anybody and I am going to go out of my way to prove it", for the entire relationship. I never really stood a chance in hindsight.
But either way, I am going for interim orders of 3 days me, 2 days her, with basically open contact whenever she so chooses when my girl is in my care, and final orders of 4 days me 2 days her, with the same no restrictions in place. Because I know straight up if she is living with me, she gets a relationship with both parents. Living with her mother, I will have to fight and beg for the rest of her childhood to even get to speak to her.
Hopefully, it all comes out as it should and it gives her the kick in the ass she needs to get over herself and start thinking about her children.
It is a sick world that we live in, and this is a cycle that will be tough to break.
At this point, I am wondering if the main concern I filed is actually documented with the courts, at which point it should be much smoother sailing. The ex-partner of wife's best friend has made death threats to both of them, and, of course, I have strong evidence to suggest that she has in fact moved to be much closer and increase time with this friend. It is all down in DVs, and he was in custody as recently as October for breaching his order, at which point I am hoping this is all recorded in the statement to get him locked up.
I do of course wonder about the potential for DV orders and such. After all, restricting somebody's rights to have a relationship with a member of their family is, of course, family violence. By taking a 2.5-year-old from her sleep to cease all contact with her father, is, of course, the pure definition of this. Not to mention the emotional abuse involved in using a child so young to inflict pain on myself, because of a failed relationship.
The only correspondence I have received so far, suggests that this is all to do with her own feelings and nothing to do with our daughter.
There is no arguing around whether it is or it isn't, but if I took that to court, 2 things would happen. 1, I would be laughed out of court. And 2, I would be seen as vindictive against my partner, and seeing as that action is not in the best interests of the child, it would go against me.
The system is a strange beast. Women are openly encouraged to take the exact actions that she has taken. Even encouraged to get a DV order immediately to increase chances of winning in court, if the time delay getting it there isn't already a case closer. Of course, the same steps are not suggested for a man, and if I was to have taken these actions, I would indeed be open for a DV order against me, and probably would be restricted to supervised visits.
Considering the main issues in our relationship were due to her "daddy" issues, it is a strange thing to then want your daughter to have no relationship with her father. The last time wife's dad was in town, he looked her in the eye and told her "you are worthless and you were nothing until a man came along". She has copped this since she was 12 years old from him.
Of course, I have dealt with her attitude that "I don't need anybody and I am going to go out of my way to prove it", for the entire relationship. I never really stood a chance in hindsight.
But either way, I am going for interim orders of 3 days me, 2 days her, with basically open contact whenever she so chooses when my girl is in my care, and final orders of 4 days me 2 days her, with the same no restrictions in place. Because I know straight up if she is living with me, she gets a relationship with both parents. Living with her mother, I will have to fight and beg for the rest of her childhood to even get to speak to her.
Hopefully, it all comes out as it should and it gives her the kick in the ass she needs to get over herself and start thinking about her children.
It is a sick world that we live in, and this is a cycle that will be tough to break.
