My ex-wife and I have been divorced for over a year. We have two children together, boys 11 and 6. She had custody of children a majority of the time as we had an on and off relationship for many years. Generally, I would have the boys every second weekend Friday to Sunday and, if my roster permitted, every other weekend too. There are no family court orders or parenting plans. I have always paid child support plus more when she asked.
I am now in a loving relationship with my new partner who is expecting our first baby on June 27th. I had constant access with the children staying with us every second weekend still.
My ex-wife was in and out of many relationships, but her last relationship was physically violent and abusive, which the children were witness to. She now has a Domestic Violence Order against her ex but I'll go into that a little later.
She lives approximately 1 hour away from me.
Over a period of approximately 6 or 7 months as a guest, I had become aware of the violent/abusive relationship that she was in. It was an on-off relationship. She advised me of this herself. I consistently requested that she take necessary steps to stop the children being witness to this violence and abuse. I warned her that if it was to continue I would remove the children from her care. It continued by her own admission.
On the 17th of July 2015, when I was meeting my ex to pick up the children for the weekend, she informed me that she had kicked her boyfriend out because he had been physically violent with her again, spitting and pushing her around. She told me that she left him at a train station.
On the 19th of July 2015, which was a Sunday I received another text from the ex advising me that she had allowed him to move back in and that everything was just a misunderstanding and all was okay. It was then that I told her to enjoy her relationship with her boyfriend. And that I was keeping the children due to the domestic violence and abuse in her home that the kids witnessed. She was obviously angry.
I immediately informed the children's school that they had been attending, and advised that they wouldn't be back and asked also to be emailed an attendance record. After receiving the record, I became aware that the ex-wife had not been taking the boys to school. By July 2015, both children had missed 55 days of school . It was my youngest son's first year of prep and eldest was in grade 5. After further investigations, I found that the previous year when my eldest son was in grade 4, he had missed 75 days of school. Both boys are severally behind at school.
I enroled the children into a new school to which they are still attending to this date, my partner and I have done the best we can as both full-time working parents (I am an officer in prisons on shift work, my partner is an educator in a daycare centre) to provide the children with stability and routine within the household, making sure that they attending school everyday etc..
My ex-wife is 30 years old and has never worked.
After a few months of the children living with us and I eventually started receiving Family Tax benefit and Child Care rebate as she informed Centrelink that I had custody of children.
During this time, the children didn't have much contact with their mother due to her not calling them or taking calls. But we did have the occasional discussion, there was communication using her mother as mediator eg. I'd speak to my ex's mother and she would pass on the message. I allowed some weekend access but she had to have the children at her mother's house where I knew they were safe with her mothers 'reassurance.
Eventually, she broke up with her boyfriend and moved into a room at her sister's house. After some long discussions with her, I allowed her to have weekend access at her sister's house as I never wanted to stop the boys seeing their mum.
On this particular weekend in November 15, the boys 'grandmother arrived at my house to take them to their mother's for the weekend. When the children arrived, there was no sign of their mother. She had eloped and disappeared for over a month. In that time, she had zero contact with the children due to her not contacting them or taking calls from me. After a month had passed, I became aware via her mother that she was back on the scene. I was able to contact the ex and she advised me that her bf who she had run away with had severely beat her. she sent me the photographic proof of her black eyes and busted lips.
She begged that I allow her to have contact with the children again as she wanted to spend Christmas with them. She also advised me that she had taken a Domestic Violence Order against her ex and the children were safe. He was apparently arrested by police she said.
Over Christmas, she had the boys for a period of 3 weeks on their holiday, and every second weekend after that. Over the Easter Holidays 2016, she had the boys for 2 weeks but I had to pay her $150 because she didn't have enough money to support them being on unemployment benefits.
She and her sister have now moved houses, still living within the same suburb. She lives under the house in a bedroom beside that garage which has been turned into a lounge room. She shares a bed with one of the boys and folds out another bed for the other to sleep on when she has them for the weekend.
During mid-March she advised me that she was 19 weeks pregnant and that the ex was definitely the father. She also advised me that she was not going to tell him about this baby as she feared for her safety.
On approximately the 25th of April, my ex enquired as to whether I would be interested in meeting with her and her mother to discuss care arrangements of the children. She told me she wants the children back in her care full time but didn't want them back until at least December 2016, because her baby would be a bit older and she could afford to get her own house, due to being back on a single mothers pension. She also said she wanted to wait till then because the eldest would be changing schools to attend high school and the youngest would only be in grade 2, so the change wouldn't affect them much in her opinion. I also never mention that while the children were in her care the attend 5 different primary schools with her moving around a lot.
all this correspondence was via text message, I definitely declined this and said I would think that a shared care arrangement with her moving closer to where the children live would benefit them more. So they could stay in their current schools and remain with their friends. She agreed that this would benefit us all this arrangement I suggested.
On the 29th of April, she advised me that she would not be moving closer to the boys to have a shared care arrangement because she would be living an hour from her mum and sister and would have no support to raise the kids and new baby (they live an hour or so away). She thinks the kids should be back with her because she's their mother and she raised them on her own.
She said she wants the boys back full time and is going to do whatever she can to get them back. I said no way. you couldn't look after them properly and get them to school etc how do you expect to do even that with a newborn baby. along with all the responsibilities of homework and getting their grades up to a satisfactory level.
She has instigated mediation process she advised me. But also said she knew it was a waste of time because neither of us would come to an agreement because all she wants is them back in her full-time care.
She wants to go to court and that she doesn't care if I have to go broke doing so.
Under these current circumstances, what are the chances of her getting the boys back in her care? What could I do to further my chances of keeping them under Family Law?
I would still agree to shared care arrangement if she moved closer to them so we could both play significant roles in raising them.
I am now in a loving relationship with my new partner who is expecting our first baby on June 27th. I had constant access with the children staying with us every second weekend still.
My ex-wife was in and out of many relationships, but her last relationship was physically violent and abusive, which the children were witness to. She now has a Domestic Violence Order against her ex but I'll go into that a little later.
She lives approximately 1 hour away from me.
Over a period of approximately 6 or 7 months as a guest, I had become aware of the violent/abusive relationship that she was in. It was an on-off relationship. She advised me of this herself. I consistently requested that she take necessary steps to stop the children being witness to this violence and abuse. I warned her that if it was to continue I would remove the children from her care. It continued by her own admission.
On the 17th of July 2015, when I was meeting my ex to pick up the children for the weekend, she informed me that she had kicked her boyfriend out because he had been physically violent with her again, spitting and pushing her around. She told me that she left him at a train station.
On the 19th of July 2015, which was a Sunday I received another text from the ex advising me that she had allowed him to move back in and that everything was just a misunderstanding and all was okay. It was then that I told her to enjoy her relationship with her boyfriend. And that I was keeping the children due to the domestic violence and abuse in her home that the kids witnessed. She was obviously angry.
I immediately informed the children's school that they had been attending, and advised that they wouldn't be back and asked also to be emailed an attendance record. After receiving the record, I became aware that the ex-wife had not been taking the boys to school. By July 2015, both children had missed 55 days of school . It was my youngest son's first year of prep and eldest was in grade 5. After further investigations, I found that the previous year when my eldest son was in grade 4, he had missed 75 days of school. Both boys are severally behind at school.
I enroled the children into a new school to which they are still attending to this date, my partner and I have done the best we can as both full-time working parents (I am an officer in prisons on shift work, my partner is an educator in a daycare centre) to provide the children with stability and routine within the household, making sure that they attending school everyday etc..
My ex-wife is 30 years old and has never worked.
After a few months of the children living with us and I eventually started receiving Family Tax benefit and Child Care rebate as she informed Centrelink that I had custody of children.
During this time, the children didn't have much contact with their mother due to her not calling them or taking calls. But we did have the occasional discussion, there was communication using her mother as mediator eg. I'd speak to my ex's mother and she would pass on the message. I allowed some weekend access but she had to have the children at her mother's house where I knew they were safe with her mothers 'reassurance.
Eventually, she broke up with her boyfriend and moved into a room at her sister's house. After some long discussions with her, I allowed her to have weekend access at her sister's house as I never wanted to stop the boys seeing their mum.
On this particular weekend in November 15, the boys 'grandmother arrived at my house to take them to their mother's for the weekend. When the children arrived, there was no sign of their mother. She had eloped and disappeared for over a month. In that time, she had zero contact with the children due to her not contacting them or taking calls from me. After a month had passed, I became aware via her mother that she was back on the scene. I was able to contact the ex and she advised me that her bf who she had run away with had severely beat her. she sent me the photographic proof of her black eyes and busted lips.
She begged that I allow her to have contact with the children again as she wanted to spend Christmas with them. She also advised me that she had taken a Domestic Violence Order against her ex and the children were safe. He was apparently arrested by police she said.
Over Christmas, she had the boys for a period of 3 weeks on their holiday, and every second weekend after that. Over the Easter Holidays 2016, she had the boys for 2 weeks but I had to pay her $150 because she didn't have enough money to support them being on unemployment benefits.
She and her sister have now moved houses, still living within the same suburb. She lives under the house in a bedroom beside that garage which has been turned into a lounge room. She shares a bed with one of the boys and folds out another bed for the other to sleep on when she has them for the weekend.
During mid-March she advised me that she was 19 weeks pregnant and that the ex was definitely the father. She also advised me that she was not going to tell him about this baby as she feared for her safety.
On approximately the 25th of April, my ex enquired as to whether I would be interested in meeting with her and her mother to discuss care arrangements of the children. She told me she wants the children back in her care full time but didn't want them back until at least December 2016, because her baby would be a bit older and she could afford to get her own house, due to being back on a single mothers pension. She also said she wanted to wait till then because the eldest would be changing schools to attend high school and the youngest would only be in grade 2, so the change wouldn't affect them much in her opinion. I also never mention that while the children were in her care the attend 5 different primary schools with her moving around a lot.
all this correspondence was via text message, I definitely declined this and said I would think that a shared care arrangement with her moving closer to where the children live would benefit them more. So they could stay in their current schools and remain with their friends. She agreed that this would benefit us all this arrangement I suggested.
On the 29th of April, she advised me that she would not be moving closer to the boys to have a shared care arrangement because she would be living an hour from her mum and sister and would have no support to raise the kids and new baby (they live an hour or so away). She thinks the kids should be back with her because she's their mother and she raised them on her own.
She said she wants the boys back full time and is going to do whatever she can to get them back. I said no way. you couldn't look after them properly and get them to school etc how do you expect to do even that with a newborn baby. along with all the responsibilities of homework and getting their grades up to a satisfactory level.
She has instigated mediation process she advised me. But also said she knew it was a waste of time because neither of us would come to an agreement because all she wants is them back in her full-time care.
She wants to go to court and that she doesn't care if I have to go broke doing so.
Under these current circumstances, what are the chances of her getting the boys back in her care? What could I do to further my chances of keeping them under Family Law?
I would still agree to shared care arrangement if she moved closer to them so we could both play significant roles in raising them.
