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QLD Family Law - Found Out Ex-Partner was Abusive - Withhold Child?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by anne1988, 17 January 2016.

  1. anne1988

    anne1988 Well-Known Member

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    I have a court ordered parenting order stating that the child is to live with his father and that I am to spend one weekend per month with the child. However, last weekend, shortly after I picked him up, I noticed that he had spots on him and the doctor suspected chicken pox. I also have written Facebook messages from the father's partner stating how abusive and neglectful the father is towards my son.

    So I went and spoke with an officer from CPU and they informed me to notify child safety officials which I have done. I've also notified the ICL as to why I haven't returned the child. The child also told me that his father is abusive, however, I'm struggling to get it on tape.

    Last month I couldn't pick him up as I was in the hospital having a baby and the following month I needed the father to pick him up rather than myself dropping him off as my car broke down. I also could not undergo a random drug test as requested by the ICL as I didn't have a spare $100 to pay for the test. I'm afraid that these grounds will be used against me, however, I'm trying to do the right thing and protect my child given the messages I have as evidence.

    Do I continue to withhold the child under Family Law and fight against a contravention order or is it best I return him even after finding out how abusive my ex-partner is?
     
  2. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    So, as I understand it, you're going to try and argue that the child having chicken pox, which is a very common illness and easily treatable among kids, is a good enough reason not to return the child in accordance with the final orders you have?

    No. I would argue it's not. The allegations about abuse are thus far hearsay, and coaxing the child to talk about it so you can record it rarely ever goes in a parent's favour in court. The fact that you've been ordered by the court to undergo random drug tests and have failed to do so and failed to return the child is not going to go in your favour at all.

    I would return the child or risk new orders that make your time with the child supervised. That's my opinion, anyway.
     
  3. anne1988

    anne1988 Well-Known Member

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    I have written messages claiming child abuse and his father recently got arrested for assault on his pregnant girlfriend. I'm not withholding for chicken pox. Plus I phoned his father today and he put the phone down on me.
     
  4. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    Are the existing orders consent orders agreed between you and the father, or final orders decided by the court?
     
  5. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

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    Ok, so father got arrested for assaulting his girlfriend. Not good, but he didn't assault the child, and we don't know if he was actually 'charged' with assault. Do you understand the difference? I once got arrested for drink driving. I was .05, but when I got to the cop shop my reading was .049. So I didn't get charged with drink driving and they let me go.

    The girlfriend claims child abuse - but it's not substantial evidence to say the child is being abused. Just a nasty ex-girlfriend posting on Facebook to get revenge. Next - recording the child telling you anything is in-admissible as evidence so don't bother and suggests that you're actually coaching the child to say what you want.

    Now everything you've said about dad is hearsay. Nothing that shows the child is at risk.

    Let's look at your side. You've just given birth, so you have that child to look after, so focus on that and maybe that is good grounds for the kid to stay with dad. Nex, you had an obligation to undergo a drug test. I have to tell you that indicates that the courts have concerns that you have a drug addiction problem. Another reason to realise that things are not going well for you. Next, you couldn't find the $100 do make sure you underwent the drug screen that the court ordered. The courts are not gonna listen to that.

    So based on your post here and what you've written I'm more concerned about you than the dad.

    Now you have asked if you should return the child after finding out how abusive your ex-partner is. Actually, you have not 'found out' that the ex is abusive. You have no evidence. You have hearsay.

    Now the other thing that really concerns me is that as a female / mother the courts have determined that the child is better off not in your care. And on now actual evidence, you have chosen to withhold the child.

    So let me ask this: On what grounds has the court determined that the kid is better off with dad?

    Now the reason your ex hung up on you when you called is because I reckon the ex's solicitor told him not to talk to you because you have done so much damage to your case that it would be better off to let you explain yourself to a magistrate than to your ex, but I'm only speculating.
     
  6. anne1988

    anne1988 Well-Known Member

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    Consent orders. Parenting orders.

    I have two other witness statements saying the child told them his dad is abusive. I've been told by the docs that I've done the right thing. Plus the person who wrote an affidavit against me in the first place has now withdrawn it. The child is petrified to return.
     
  7. AllForHer

    AllForHer Well-Known Member

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    It doesn't matter, it's still hearsay or he-said-she-said. Without evidence, you have nothing to back your case up. If you don't think the child is safe living with the father, follow the right avenues and file an initiating application.

    The only alternative, I suppose, is to get yourself a solicitor and good luck.
     

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