VIC Withhold Son Due to Ex Breaching Family Court Orders?

[Shan_90]

I have final court orders in place. My ex-partner is constantly breaching these orders by withholding the child for a couple of extra days. This has been happening for 3 months now, even though he is aware he is breaching the orders and he doesn't care.

I have submitted a contravention application as I feel this is serious, that my ex-partner is taking time away from my son and myself and affecting my son's wellbeing. The hearing is about 3 months away. I'm just wondering if I have any grounds to withhold my son from his father's care as he continues to take time away from me or do I just put up with him continuing to breach the orders, document it and wait until the contravention hearing?

He also threatens to withhold our son if I don't meet him at a location that isn't specified on the orders. I always tell him that it isn't in the family court orders and that he needs to meet me at the specified place in the orders but he never will so I just go to where ever he wants me to go as I fear he will withhold my son from me.

I would appreciate constructive thoughts on this matter. I don't qualify for legal aid and I don't have a lawyer so I'm looking for opinions elsewhere.

Thank you

 

[sammy01]

Can you give more details? How often and for how long? So how many times has he withheld the child? For how long? BTW how old is the child?

I reckon you're better to continue following the orders until you can get to court.

 

[Shan_90]

He has withheld the child 6 times now and has withheld him 3 days on one occasions and other 3 occasions he has withheld him 2 days, other times he withholds up to 3-4 hours. This has happened over a 3 month period and he has also cancelled speech therapist appointments on for my son on his times without any excuse and then withheld my son for an extra day.

We have shared parental responsibilties and he has my son 5 nights a fornight and half school.holidays. My son is 5 and doesn't start school until next year.

 

[AllForHer]

In my experience, one party contravening orders doesn't mean the other can. The Court likes parents to follow the proper avenues when dealing with disputes and contraventions. If you contravene because he does, the Court will think you're both irresponsible parents.

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so just one thought... Don't make appointments during his time. I've been in that situation. I had my kids 5 nights a fortnight - alternate weekends and every Wednesday, my ex used to love making sure my Wednesdays were filled up with doctors, dentist, optometrists, etc., just so if I refused to attend the appointments, she could call me a crap dad.

Apart from that - just stick to the orders and wait till you get to court. Make sure you've got it all documented.

 

[Shan_90]

I am trying hard to stick to the orders. Should i be going to a police station that is in the current order? Or should I just not go and get a recovery order for my son?

If I don't go where he wants me to, he won't return the child. There are intervention orders in place. I think I am breaching them by going to the police station that isn't on the current family court orders. I'm really stuck on what to do.

 

[AllForHer]

Keep this in perspective.

If it's not out of your way, go to the police station that he wants you to, and advise that you are not agreeable to changeovers taking place at that police station moving forward. Record it. When he goes to collect the child next time, go to the police station you are meant to go to.

Don't waste time with a recovery order over something as minor as a change to pick-up location. It's best to have some flexibility about these kinds of things and pick your battles carefully. The father isn't withholding the child, per se, he is simply presenting the child at a different location.

Who is the intervention order against? You or him?

 

[Shan_90]

He does withhold our son a day sometimes even 3 days then expects me to go to an unmanned police station. I would be fine with that if it was written in court orders and if there was a history of family violence and they were made at a specific police station for a reason.

There are mutual intervention orders in place. I don't agree but I go because I want to see my son.

He also fails to tell me his address which is court ordered so now I'm waiting 3 months for a court date just to get orders from a judge to tell me I can serve him contravention papers by email then text him the court date.

This is very unfair and very stressful. He will continue to withhold my son whenever he feels like it until it goes to court. I just don't understand any of this...

 

[AllForHer]

I understand your frustration. This system is slow and at times antiquated, but have patience. The longer things go on being a problem, the stronger your position becomes. What the Court sees is a man with very little insight as to what's in the child's best interests. His actions will burn him in the end. Just do your best to rise above it, clarify that you're not agreeable to any change from the standing orders, and lend him enough rope to eventually do the damage himself.

 

[Shan_90]

Thank you for your help and giving me some hope