NSW Family Court Orders Consistently Breached by Mother - What to Do?
- Thread starter nibler1300
- Start date
UPDATE:
So Natasha's mother expressed to my partner "I don't know if you are aware but Natasha is very upset". When my partner asked why, the reasoning was:
Sarah is constantly talking about me and she says to her mother that I teach her things and do stuff with her whilst her mother doesn't. She told her mother that apparently I told her that when she falls over and hurts herself that she shouldn't tell anyone (which isn't true but it's what 5 years old do).
So basically, this whole situation has been created due to Natasha being upset because her child enjoys spending time with her step mother.
I can understand why this may make a mother feel upset but I don't feel as if her actions are justified.
My partner and I have ultimately come up with the decision to arrange with Natasha (in the event that she begins to respond to us soon) a conference call in order to sort out the dents in the court order and request any changes that either parties want. Mediate, without the courts involvement.
Realistically, this doesn't even have to happen because we have a certificate saying she was unwilling to mediate. She will be made aware of the certificate in our possession and be told that if she is unwilling to cooperate or if she doesn't wish to arrange a time then matters will be taken back into the Federal Circuit Court under a contravention order.
She is aware that she is breaching the court orders, she will be made aware of this again if the mediation is to occur however, I am hesitate to tell her how many things we have proof of her breaching for obvious reasons. Would be showing a set of aces during Texas Hold-Em.
Would setting up this private mediation show the courts that we are openly trying to work things would with Natasha? Would requesting this work in our favour should the court route be taken?
Any further help on what to do? Or even how I should react to this situation? Clearly I'm not doing anything wrong when looking after Sarah but that doesn't mean that I should stop doing what I am doing and stop teaching her correct pronunciation of words or how to swim or ride a bike, just because her mother will get upset about it.
It really puts me in a sticky situation for something as simple as parenting...
So Natasha's mother expressed to my partner "I don't know if you are aware but Natasha is very upset". When my partner asked why, the reasoning was:
Sarah is constantly talking about me and she says to her mother that I teach her things and do stuff with her whilst her mother doesn't. She told her mother that apparently I told her that when she falls over and hurts herself that she shouldn't tell anyone (which isn't true but it's what 5 years old do).
So basically, this whole situation has been created due to Natasha being upset because her child enjoys spending time with her step mother.
I can understand why this may make a mother feel upset but I don't feel as if her actions are justified.
My partner and I have ultimately come up with the decision to arrange with Natasha (in the event that she begins to respond to us soon) a conference call in order to sort out the dents in the court order and request any changes that either parties want. Mediate, without the courts involvement.
Realistically, this doesn't even have to happen because we have a certificate saying she was unwilling to mediate. She will be made aware of the certificate in our possession and be told that if she is unwilling to cooperate or if she doesn't wish to arrange a time then matters will be taken back into the Federal Circuit Court under a contravention order.
She is aware that she is breaching the court orders, she will be made aware of this again if the mediation is to occur however, I am hesitate to tell her how many things we have proof of her breaching for obvious reasons. Would be showing a set of aces during Texas Hold-Em.
Would setting up this private mediation show the courts that we are openly trying to work things would with Natasha? Would requesting this work in our favour should the court route be taken?
Any further help on what to do? Or even how I should react to this situation? Clearly I'm not doing anything wrong when looking after Sarah but that doesn't mean that I should stop doing what I am doing and stop teaching her correct pronunciation of words or how to swim or ride a bike, just because her mother will get upset about it.
It really puts me in a sticky situation for something as simple as parenting...
Yep get dad to do the mediation...Avoid court. Get dad to emphasise that you being there is a good thing and it is better than you hating the kid...
Look doing more mediation kind of helps if it goes to court.
Maybe - where possible get dad to scold the child when in your care. I'm a step parent of a particularily challenging 12 year old - for the sake of keeping the peace I sit in the background most of the time when 12 year old is mucking about... Not great parenting sometimes - but I'm not her parent...
Look doing more mediation kind of helps if it goes to court.
Maybe - where possible get dad to scold the child when in your care. I'm a step parent of a particularily challenging 12 year old - for the sake of keeping the peace I sit in the background most of the time when 12 year old is mucking about... Not great parenting sometimes - but I'm not her parent...
Hi again 
Update.. When drop off occured, partner approached mother to travel. Mother made unreasonable requestes regarding fuel money ($400 to drive 2.5 hours to Brisbane - each way or $1000 return flight in the middle of the day to Toowoomba). Father and I made the decision to either organise so that child can spend a week with her grandparents (who live 2 hours away from where she lives).
Last holidays, partner had to take time off work (he is a contractor so this is unpaid leave) and fell behind on child support by $200. Mother began to take digs at Father (during their phone calls) telling child that she cannot have nice things because 'someone' wasn't paying their child support. Mind you... He pays $450 a month. Mother then sent Father a message saying "really need you to make a child support payment". Father responded saying that a payment was made the day before and she should receive it soon however please understand that he had only just returned to work after taking the time off to spend with child and that with another baby on the way, there is obvious expenses. Mother responded attacking Father that he doesn't appreciate what it takes to raise a child on your own. Father then asked if he was still meant to have child for next year in which the mother ignored and attacked father for "not giving her enough money" and along with some not very nice words added that she barely has enough money for her after it goes to [child] and her 10 month old.
My partner then, being sick of the abuse and accusations, applied for a change in child support assessment as based on his income he is spending 15% on travel alone to spend time with [child]. It was worked out that he has travelled over 30,000 kms in the past 18 months and all supporting bank statements were provided.
WELL... Mother, again, for the 3rd year in a row, refused to allow child to call me (step mother) on Mother's Day (not an issue for me however [child] calls the next day and has a normal conversation with me anyway... But she always goes on to attack me and how I'm not a mother figure in [child's] life and both me and my partner are f^#king disgraces, c%#ts and f^@kwits etc...
At 1:45am last time - my partner was on night shift so he was awake, he received a message from mother sayingthat he having child is having both mentally and physically detrimental to child's health, that she weighs 2kgs less every time she goes home (not true, she gained 5kgs over the XMAS school holidays and 1.5kgs over Easter - photos that are time stamped to prove), saying we tell the child that she should live further away from us, that she can only have dance lessons if she is in our care, basically just a bunch of s**t. My partner responded stupidly (I'll admit) with "Are you on drugs?" This began the swearing and name calling again. My partner then told her that everything she said is lies, he has brought up with mother that child was looking skinny when he received her because he was worried. That child begs not to go back every time he has her and that everytime he tries to ask something about schooling or medical he receives no information back.
She lost the plot again, and told my partner to "stop paying child support n f&%k off forever", "stay the f**k out of [child's] life", "You're a dumb lying c&%t who doesn't give a s**t about his daughter.". She ended with "I'll see you in court."
So it seems the child support application has been received by mother...
Mother doesn't work.
We have an affidavit already written up (just needs updating) with text messages to disprove the above statements regarding weight etc.. and to prove that Mother is firstly abusive and second unwilling to facilitate a constant relationship between child and father.
I'm quiet happy to let her hang herself - in fact, I think if she applies to take it to court, it may work better in our favour. However based on previous proceedings, both Mother and Father were said to be good parents (hence the custody split). My question is, based on all the information - what is the likelihood that the judge with grant full custody to Father under the pretense that Mother is unwilling to facilitate a relationship between child and Father unless money is heavily involved.
Also, with an application to the courts, will Mother be able to bring up what happened previous to the current court order being set or is it solely from the date that this court order was made?
Update.. When drop off occured, partner approached mother to travel. Mother made unreasonable requestes regarding fuel money ($400 to drive 2.5 hours to Brisbane - each way or $1000 return flight in the middle of the day to Toowoomba). Father and I made the decision to either organise so that child can spend a week with her grandparents (who live 2 hours away from where she lives).
Last holidays, partner had to take time off work (he is a contractor so this is unpaid leave) and fell behind on child support by $200. Mother began to take digs at Father (during their phone calls) telling child that she cannot have nice things because 'someone' wasn't paying their child support. Mind you... He pays $450 a month. Mother then sent Father a message saying "really need you to make a child support payment". Father responded saying that a payment was made the day before and she should receive it soon however please understand that he had only just returned to work after taking the time off to spend with child and that with another baby on the way, there is obvious expenses. Mother responded attacking Father that he doesn't appreciate what it takes to raise a child on your own. Father then asked if he was still meant to have child for next year in which the mother ignored and attacked father for "not giving her enough money" and along with some not very nice words added that she barely has enough money for her after it goes to [child] and her 10 month old.
My partner then, being sick of the abuse and accusations, applied for a change in child support assessment as based on his income he is spending 15% on travel alone to spend time with [child]. It was worked out that he has travelled over 30,000 kms in the past 18 months and all supporting bank statements were provided.
WELL... Mother, again, for the 3rd year in a row, refused to allow child to call me (step mother) on Mother's Day (not an issue for me however [child] calls the next day and has a normal conversation with me anyway... But she always goes on to attack me and how I'm not a mother figure in [child's] life and both me and my partner are f^#king disgraces, c%#ts and f^@kwits etc...
At 1:45am last time - my partner was on night shift so he was awake, he received a message from mother sayingthat he having child is having both mentally and physically detrimental to child's health, that she weighs 2kgs less every time she goes home (not true, she gained 5kgs over the XMAS school holidays and 1.5kgs over Easter - photos that are time stamped to prove), saying we tell the child that she should live further away from us, that she can only have dance lessons if she is in our care, basically just a bunch of s**t. My partner responded stupidly (I'll admit) with "Are you on drugs?" This began the swearing and name calling again. My partner then told her that everything she said is lies, he has brought up with mother that child was looking skinny when he received her because he was worried. That child begs not to go back every time he has her and that everytime he tries to ask something about schooling or medical he receives no information back.
She lost the plot again, and told my partner to "stop paying child support n f&%k off forever", "stay the f**k out of [child's] life", "You're a dumb lying c&%t who doesn't give a s**t about his daughter.". She ended with "I'll see you in court."
So it seems the child support application has been received by mother...
Mother doesn't work.
We have an affidavit already written up (just needs updating) with text messages to disprove the above statements regarding weight etc.. and to prove that Mother is firstly abusive and second unwilling to facilitate a constant relationship between child and father.
I'm quiet happy to let her hang herself - in fact, I think if she applies to take it to court, it may work better in our favour. However based on previous proceedings, both Mother and Father were said to be good parents (hence the custody split). My question is, based on all the information - what is the likelihood that the judge with grant full custody to Father under the pretense that Mother is unwilling to facilitate a relationship between child and Father unless money is heavily involved.
Also, with an application to the courts, will Mother be able to bring up what happened previous to the current court order being set or is it solely from the date that this court order was made?
"My question is, based on all the information - what is the likelihood that the judge with grant full custody to Father under the pretense that Mother is unwilling to facilitate a relationship between child and Father unless money is heavily involved."
"Pretense" means pretend reason - I'm going to assume that this is not what you meant, and what you want to know is what is the likelihood of a change of care orders on the basis that the mother is unwilling to facilitate a relationship?
It sounds as though your partner and his ex have had an argument. Unless she stops allowing your stepdaughter to communicate and spend time with your ex, it seems unlikely that an argument like this would provide a basis for a change in care.
"Pretense" means pretend reason - I'm going to assume that this is not what you meant, and what you want to know is what is the likelihood of a change of care orders on the basis that the mother is unwilling to facilitate a relationship?
It sounds as though your partner and his ex have had an argument. Unless she stops allowing your stepdaughter to communicate and spend time with your ex, it seems unlikely that an argument like this would provide a basis for a change in care.
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