LawAnswers.com.au - Australia's #1 Legal Community

LawAnswers.com.au is a community of 10,000+ Australians, just like you, helping each other.
Ask a question, respond to a question and better understand the law today!
Join us, it only takes a minute:

SA Family Court and Custody of Children - Mother Getting Recovery Orders?

Discussion in 'Family Law Forum' started by Concerned step parent, 26 December 2015.

  1. Concerned step parent

    Concerned step parent Active Member

    Joined:
    26 December 2015
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi, this might be a long post as there are lots to explain, so thank you if you take the time to read it.

    I am the step parent and my partner is the biological father.

    We have had my step child (4 years old) full-time for 2 years as of October just passed. In this time, she has had a very rocky relationship with biological mum. We gained full custody of children due to the bio mum and her partner having nowhere to live due to a drug addiction to explicit drugs. The bio mum's partner was incarcerated for manufacturing Ice in his home, dealing the drugs and issues with an outlaw bikie gang.

    The Bio mum would and still does drop off the face of the earth for a few weeks - months at a time with absolutely no contact with stepchild. She will then come back on the scene for a few weeks and disappears again.

    In June this year, we decided to move interstate for more family support and cheaper living as we also have a baby together. We contacted the bio mum and she agreed to the move (we hadn't heard from her since February when we contacted her to advise). She just wanted to spend some time with my step child before the move. In this time, we learnt she was still with her partner that she had advised she was no longer with.

    For obvious reasons, my partner was concerned about step child being around him. After 2-3 weeks, we received a letter advising she didn't give us permission to leave, however, there are no custody orders in place. A mediation was attended last year but after 3 visits, the bio mum didn't arrive to collect step child for her visit. There had always been inconsistencies with her visits and agreements broken on her end. So we have since moved anyway as we could not afford to live where we were and we all wanted to be closer to family, who live where we have moved to.

    The Bio mum is threatening a recovery order and we have been here 4 months now. Prior to us having stepchild full time, it was 50/50 but we have had full care for over 2 years. I'm just wondering what her chances might be of receiving a recovery order?

    There is much more to the story for when and if it goes to court such as 3 family members are willing to write affidavits explaining how the step child would be left unattended for hours at a time when in her care, lived on 2 minute noodles, multiple domestic arguments would occur in front of her, etc.

    Oh and she also agreed in mediation that her partner would be nowhere near step child (they were separate at the time as he was in prison) and she agreed he was a possible danger to her welfare.

    Would those things be taken into consideration if she tried to get a recovery order (her partner's incarceration and charges)? The Bio mum has always shown inconsistencies with having a relationship with the step child and I have proof of us trying to contact her and the periods of no contact, etc. The mediation agreement was left as a draft, as she broke it prior to it going through the family court.

    Thank you for your time.
     
  2. sammy01

    sammy01 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    27 September 2015
    Messages:
    1,064
    Likes Received:
    126
    Ok so firstly, when mum agreed to the move, was it verbal? In writing? Do you still have it in writing?

    Look ,it is never a good idea to make a blanket statement around what might happen in family law.... But that is what I'm gonna do.

    I don't reckon you've got much to worry about. The reason I say that is because of my experience... So I had my 3 kids 5 nights a fortnight and half holidays. My ex wanted to relocate 6 hours away. I'm clean living (mostly - I'm no saint) and I don't hang with outlaws... And I have court orders that say neither of us can relocate...

    Now even with all of that going for me, when my ex threatened to relocate the first thing my solicitor asked me was would I be willing to move to the same location as the ex. I said, if I had to...

    So my solicitor was suggesting that even with all that I had going for me that would be the solicitor's preferred option rather than fighting it in court. He didn't say confidently that we could win and stop her relocating.... So my thinking goes, Iif a parent with an established positive relationship with his kids, etc., can't be confident he can stop the ex moving

    Well, then what chance has a drug affected person who has basically abandoned their kid got of forcing you back? Bugger all I reckon...

    Btw, if the ex couldn't get her s**t together to sort mediation, what chance has she got of getting the paperwork sorted to get to court and what chance has she if she has had bugger all contact with the child for the last 2 yrs? I'm will to bet the answer is bugger all chance.

    Just don't even bother engaging with any conversation about court. Ignore everything until you actually get served with a court notice and I'm willing to bet it won't happen...
     
    Concerned step parent likes this.
  3. Concerned step parent

    Concerned step parent Active Member

    Joined:
    26 December 2015
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you for your response.

    It was verbal but we had many conversations over text leading up to the move including myself informing bio mum of the dates we were leaving, etc., so I'm hoping that might be enough proof that it was clearly agreed upon as she never said she was against the move in texts when we would discuss visits, etc.

    She threatens court on multiple occasions but then we don't hear from her for months, I think deep down she realises there are lots of things piling up against her that will not look good in court especially considering she chose the lifestyle she did and agreed to us having stepchild full time because she could not care for herself let alone a child.

    My partner and I have no criminal convictions. The worst that has ever happened is a speeding fine for us. She had even had her premises raided by federal police as they were informed an interstate outlaw high profile drug dealer was at their premises who bio mum actually drove to the airport so he could leave the state before he was caught. Police appearances were there almost every weekend due to domestic violence which would all be documented.

    At one point, the bio mum came to my home when we lived in the same state whilst under the influence of drugs and caused an absolute uproar threatening me, trying to get into my home & screaming profanities for the whole street to hear all whilst step child was in the bath absolutely petrified! Thankfully a neighbour called the police. I don't think she will even attempt a recovery order or any court orders but I just wanted to be prepared in case she does. Thank you for responding :)
     
  4. Concerned step parent

    Concerned step parent Active Member

    Joined:
    26 December 2015
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you for your response.

    It was verbal but we had many conversations over text leading up to the move including myself informing bio mum of the dates we were leaving, etc., so I'm hoping that might be enough proof that it was clearly agreed upon as she never said she was against the move in texts when we would discuss visits, etc.

    She threatens court on multiple occasions but then we don't hear from her for months, I think deep down she realises there are lots of things piling up against her that will not look good in court especially considering she chose the lifestyle she did and agreed to us having stepchild full time because she could not care for herself let alone a child.

    My partner and I have no criminal convictions. The worst that has ever happened is a speeding fine for us. She had even had her premises raided by federal police as they were informed an interstate outlaw high profile drug dealer was at their premises who bio mum actually drove to the airport so he could leave the state before he was caught. Police appearances were there almost every weekend due to domestic violence which would all be documented.

    At one point, the bio mum came to my home when we lived in the same state whilst under the influence of drugs and caused an absolute uproar threatening me, trying to get into my home & screaming profanities for the whole street to hear all whilst step child was in the bath absolutely petrified! Thankfully a neighbour called the police. I don't think she will even attempt a recovery order or any court orders but I just wanted to be prepared in case she does. Thank you for responding :)
     
  5. JS79

    JS79 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    2 October 2015
    Messages:
    307
    Likes Received:
    35
    I would look at talking to a local family lawyer. They can help you to initiate proceedings in regards to your daughter in the state that you are living in. You can look at filling in a form 4 which can be used in cases of violence etc. Without having any orders in place she can easily come and get your child while at school or the like.

    See
    Get Connected with the Right Lawyer for You to be connected to a local family lawyer.
     
  6. N Knight

    N Knight Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    27 December 2015
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    1
    I would suggest that you contact a family lawyer and get them to assist you. If she is a drug addict, etc., the best interest of the child would prevail and unlikely that any recovery order would be made and the children are settled with you.
     

Share This Page

Loading...