Breached VRO - What to Do About It?

Australia's #1 for Law
Join 150,000 Australians every month. Ask a question, respond to a question and better understand the law today!
FREE - Join Now

Strongarms38

Well-Known Member
16 April 2014
40
8
149
Hi all.

I'm in need of some advice. My ex and I officially separated in March 2013. A while after she took out a Violence Restraining Order (VRO) on me which I don't even understand how she got one as she has never had a threat of any sort of violence from me at any time. It seems to me that they are easy to get and no actual violence or even a threat of violence is required to get one?. My shrink advised me not to contest it as he said you don't really want to talk to her anyway so why bother wasting a lot of time going to court to contest it. I took his advice so the VRO was made permanent for 2 years.

Now I've been very vigilant in not breaching the VRO demands. The only time I contact her is if it is in direct relation to my son. She on the other hand has breached her own VRO more than 20 times. This doesn't seem to matter. Recently I had police show up on my doorstep and they told me that I'd been reported for 3 breaches of the VRO. They didn't cuff me or anything but told me that at this moment I'm technically under arrest. I guess they could see that I was not a violent type of person, as I'm indeed one of the nicest and most helpful people on the planet.

I've spent my whole life in service to others. At the station they went through all the motions. Do you want a lawyer present etc. I said no it's all fine. They eventually showed me 3 short emails that were in direct response to an extremely inflammatory email she had sent to me. The email she sent to me certainly had nothing to do with my son.Realistically the 3 responses from me could have and should have been part of just one email reply. 2 of my reply's were only one sentence in length and not one of them had even a hint of suggested violence or name calling or abuse of any form.

The police said the normal procedure for 3 breaches of a VRO is a night in lockup and my permanent record would reflect this breach for the rest of my life unless the court decides to diodes the charges as they were non violent and only occurred as a direct result of her initiating contact in an inflammatory manner to which she was deliberately trying to seek a response so she could record a breach of the VRO. I'm told as she's breached her own VRO rules that I can now re contest it. The police also recommended I apply for a VRO against her so this wouldn't occur in the future. The police didn't retain me as they could obviously see that I was not a danger to anyone nor did any email suggest abuse in any way. So they dropped me home and said I'd receive a court summons. They also told me to make notes of her breaches of her own VRO especially the email she sent to intentionally insight an emotional response from me.

I'm not sure what's going to happen next and have no idea how to behave in court when summoned. I've never made any threats to my ex and certainly don't wish any violence toward her. So I guess what I'm really asking is for advice on this issue and what I should do to avoid charges against me being realised. It's a technical breach of the VRO but is rather petty and nonetheless it's been acted upon. I know my ex has a real need to be concerned about custody outcomes for our separation as her history of mental health issues is extremely negative and diagnosed as permanent. Not to mention my son's safety concerns with being in a motor vehicle with her as she has one of the worlds worst driving records that include loss of license, a double or nothing option entered Into. Re-offending and re issuing stat decs deliberately to save the loss of her license by colluding with a friend to take the infringements and points for her intentionally misleading authorities in order to pervert the course of justice.

In WA the road traffic act amended in 1994 states quite clearly that this defrauding of stat decs to enable her continuation to drive is a serious crime that commands a $36,000 fine and a mandatory jail term of 7 years. An $8,000 penalty for the friend Also. In WA they also introduced via a very large media release operation "Glyder" which addresses this exact issue of friends taking demerit points so their friend doesn't loose her license. She's a habitual offender and as this matter has not been addressed with her despite my reporting it to every known traffic enforcement agency in WA including the ombudsman, and evidence that is very clearly her driving via front on photos from the traffic lights she sped through, no action has ever come of this.

My concern is mostly related to my son being a passenger in a vehicle she's operating and his immediate safety. As this hasn't been addressed she's subsequently had 2 traffic accidents. The second one serious enough to have her car impounded. My son was in the vehicle on both these occasions. I wouldn't have even known if my boy didn't tell me. I also know that my son would rather be living with me as he is neglected at her house. Many times his daily homework is not even supervised or completed. My kids are my whole world. I've sacrificed an aweful lot for my kids and would do again in a heart beat. Having no choice but to remain concerned for my children's safety as police will do nothing despite her breaking the law and there seems to be no consideration for my son;s well being either. I'm stumped. I don't know what more I can do. I've written formal police complaints which seem to be ignored. So I'm stuck. If anyone can help me with these issues if be most appreciative. It causes me many sleepless nights worrying and some nights/days where I just feel like giving up. I feel like I've got no fight left in me and end up crying myself to sleep or becoming an emotional wreck curled up on my couch. Please help.
 

Strongarms38

Well-Known Member
16 April 2014
40
8
149
I've had a VRO taken out against me by ex. No threat of any violence or abuse to back up the need for the VRO in the first place. My shrink advised me to not contest. In response to my ex's deliberately inflammatory email to me saw a non violent or abusive response from me. 3 very short emails in response to her have seen a technical breach of the VRO. I'm now going to receive a court summons. Any advice would be appreciated. She is currently under police investigation for defrauding stat decs as well as child safety issues. Is also clinically diagnosed with a severe mental health disorder.
 

Tdudley

Member
23 April 2017
1
0
1
Hi there,

I'm going through a similar situation at the moment. Just wondering how you went on with custody with kids etc? Was this an issue taking into account the 'vro'?
 

AllForHer

Well-Known Member
23 July 2014
3,664
684
2,894
@Tdudley Drop by the Family Law forum and share some information there, we might be able to answer some questions about your situation there.