QLD What Kind of Evidence is Permissable in Court?

[new dad]

Thanks for the reality check sammy01, I've been doing what you suggest since we split and the baby has come along, staying child focused, trying to work with mum, not reacting. Its hard not to get caught up in it, but I can see the soundness of the logic and how that might play out.

Gotta work with the system that's there and at the end of the day I just wanna be a dad to my kid, thanks again. Lots more 'pause and have a cuppa tea' ahead I think.

 

[Lennon]

I agree with Sammy.

We had our final hearing in December, and despite all the shitty things my ex has done as a parent, I instructed my barrister to make the point over and over again that my case is that she is a wonderful parent, a loving devoted mother, has a close relationship with the kids blah blah blah (vomit) ... and that the only matter in issue in the proceedings is how much time the children need to spend with me in order to have a meaningful relationship with me.

This is despite the fact that many things she has done have not been in the children's best interests (moving them across the country, not letting them speak to me when she's angry with me, falsely telling their teachers that I was abusive to a school administrator who I have never spoken to or emailed in my life etc).

I sucked all that up and took the position that she's a great mother and my only concern is how much time the children are spending with me. It worked an absolute treat, the judge lapped it up and the barrister was so pleased with the approach that he tried to take credit for it lol.

 

[new dad]

Yeah and I guess that even in the event that she starts throwing mud in court, if she can't support it with evidence, then it won't carry much weight if any.

Lennon I noticed in your other comments or threads that you started out traveling to see your kids and I got the impression you live closer now, if this is the case, do you mind me asking if you went to court first and organized to move closer with the orders in place or did you move first then petition the court?

 

[Lennon]

Hi New Dad,

Sadly we still live across the country from each other. It's an 8+ hour journey each way including flights and driving time (when she first moved it was only 5 hours travel time, now she's moved a long way from the airport it's a very long journey).

 

[AllForHer]

I agree with the above opinion. None of the recordings we had ever appeared in any of our evidence for the parenting matter because vilification of either party is not reflective of the child's best interests. The only time we ever submitted recordings or transcripts was in the DVO matter.

The logic goes like this: she is a great mother, just a rubbish ex-wife.

 

[new dad]

So the argument goes, she is a great mum except in supporting a significant and meaningful relationship between the child and his father, or is it, she is just a great mum and I am only partitioning the court to gain significant and meaningful contact with my son that is legally binding?

Sorry more questions lol, I know it may seem like I am splitting hairs but the first would be criticism of the mother in one particular area the other avoid any criticism of the mother all together, and if its the latter do you still submit all the emails etc, that show she is being difficult or do you just submit all the evidence that shows how committed you are to the child.

It seems like the second approach might be easier to self represent with.

Thanks for all the help today everyone

 

[new dad]

I just re read some of the last posts and answered my own question, it's the latter option.

Thanks again - been a big help.

 

[new dad]

Hi New Dad,

Sadly we still live across the country from each other. It's an 8+ hour journey each way including flights and driving time (when she first moved it was only 5 hours travel time, now she's moved a long way from the airport it's a very long journey).

Hi Lennon, yeah i can relate how difficult the distance makes everything, i am in a similar boat and its tough, i was wondering if you would mind if i asked what were the main orders that you sort from the court considering the distance and how it sounds like you were sucessfull with your proceedings

 

[Lennon]

Hi Lennon, yeah i can relate how difficult the distance makes everything, i am in a similar boat and its tough, i was wondering if you would mind if i asked what were the main orders that you sort from the court considering the distance and how it sounds like you were sucessfull with your proceedings

Hi New Dad, broadly our orders were (this is not the actual terminology in the orders, but a summary of the effect of them):

• Equal shared parental responsibility.
• Children spend time with me each school holidays (10 days each mid-year and 28 days at Christmas).
• I can spend time with the children whenever I am in their State provided I give 28 days notice.
• Airfares are shared (I pay for 5 per year, she pays for 3 per year).
• Flights are to be booked within a specified period of each day and details provided to other parent 28 days before flights.
• Communication by telephone or skype at any reasonable time, and in any event by Skype for up to an hour every week at a set time (same time we have always agreed on).
• No denigration etc.
• Parents to inform each other of any illness or major injury and any prescribed medication.
• Order works as an authority to obtain information from schools, doctors etc.
• Parents must provide the details of any profession or qualified person consulted in relation to the children.
• Usual orders about passports.

The orders were so straight forward we should not have needed to go to court.

 

[new dad]

Thanks lennon, they are quite straightforward and very reasonable, there is a few things in there that i hadn't considered and that i might be able to apply to my situation, thanks heaps it has helped alot