ACT What is the Difference Between Legal Aid and Funded Lawyer?
- Thread starter goodgravy
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12-year-old stepdaughter. My 3 are under 9...
I think I know where this is going. Mate, she can offer them mobile phones, computers and a trip to Disneyland. Even with that, the court will only consider their opinions. Doesn't mean a 13-year-old kid gets to make any decisions. Once they are mid/ late teens, different story.
I think I know where this is going. Mate, she can offer them mobile phones, computers and a trip to Disneyland. Even with that, the court will only consider their opinions. Doesn't mean a 13-year-old kid gets to make any decisions. Once they are mid/ late teens, different story.
Ha - no it was a genuine out of interest question Sammy! But your answer actually helped enormously this morning because ex is now wanting to settle everything informally and not go to family law conference (no longer telling me to go through the lawyer. she just wants to meet up in person privately) and I've been getting a lot of angry emails between last night and this morning about how we don't even need the orders.
So thanks.
So thanks.
I'd strongly encourage you to consider your options. I'd refuse to meet privately and I'd insist on mediation. I'd also be very careful and selective about responding to emails. Mate sometimes the best response is no response.
But what if you meet privately? She then goes to the cops and claims you threatened her. She packs the kids and leaves on the premise of fearing for her safety and of course she takes the kids. My ex decided to leave town about 2 years ago. So after fighting for years to keep me away from the kids, she decided she was gonna leave them with me.
I told her I'd be prepared to write up consent orders myself. She agreed. But when it came to discussing them I refused to go to her house, refused to meet her at McDonalds. I insisted we met at a mutual friend's house. I waited until I knew she was inside before I went in and I waited till I knew she had gotten in her car to leave before I left. Why? All to stop vexatious allegations.
Just out of interest, why has she now decided that you don't need consent orders?
But what if you meet privately? She then goes to the cops and claims you threatened her. She packs the kids and leaves on the premise of fearing for her safety and of course she takes the kids. My ex decided to leave town about 2 years ago. So after fighting for years to keep me away from the kids, she decided she was gonna leave them with me.
I told her I'd be prepared to write up consent orders myself. She agreed. But when it came to discussing them I refused to go to her house, refused to meet her at McDonalds. I insisted we met at a mutual friend's house. I waited until I knew she was inside before I went in and I waited till I knew she had gotten in her car to leave before I left. Why? All to stop vexatious allegations.
Just out of interest, why has she now decided that you don't need consent orders?
I refused to meet up for the very reason you mentioned. I really tried not to be inflammatory. I just said 'all the things you wanted to discuss we can discuss over email or at the family dispute resolution'. Initially, it was just about our son's mental health issues but it has now turned into everything, including that the kids want to live with her, that I'm neglecting them, that they dont want to be near me, that they just want their mum, etc...and her saying that we need to meet in order to discuss it.
You are right about not replying and being careful when I do reply. I reply as if everything could potentially read in court. I don't engage in the 'but the kids want to live with me' conversation. I really do try to keep it relevant. I replied selectively to several of the emails from last night and today with 'I won't discuss any of the issues you've raised except at the family law conference you initiated - please let your lawyer know a date when you're available to do this'. I actually read through all the responses I got on this thread to keep it calm and impersonal.
I thought that maybe the swing from telling me to communicate only with her lawyer and being gung-ho about the mediation to now not even wanting to go to mediation or involve lawyers may have been an indication that legal aid told her that she doesn't have a good case. It's not that she doesn't want consent orders, it's just that we currently have orders that I think a court would be reluctant to change (and that she doesn't like) because she would struggle to meet the threshhold of rice and asplund.
Basically, nothing has changed in our circumstances except she wants the kids to live with her full time and then relocate with them. I think she maybe thought she had a strong legal case and is now realising that she doesn't and so is saying 'well we don't even need to worry about orders, let's just act outside of them for the sake of the kids and let them come and live with me'. Does that make sense?
You are right about not replying and being careful when I do reply. I reply as if everything could potentially read in court. I don't engage in the 'but the kids want to live with me' conversation. I really do try to keep it relevant. I replied selectively to several of the emails from last night and today with 'I won't discuss any of the issues you've raised except at the family law conference you initiated - please let your lawyer know a date when you're available to do this'. I actually read through all the responses I got on this thread to keep it calm and impersonal.
I thought that maybe the swing from telling me to communicate only with her lawyer and being gung-ho about the mediation to now not even wanting to go to mediation or involve lawyers may have been an indication that legal aid told her that she doesn't have a good case. It's not that she doesn't want consent orders, it's just that we currently have orders that I think a court would be reluctant to change (and that she doesn't like) because she would struggle to meet the threshhold of rice and asplund.
Basically, nothing has changed in our circumstances except she wants the kids to live with her full time and then relocate with them. I think she maybe thought she had a strong legal case and is now realising that she doesn't and so is saying 'well we don't even need to worry about orders, let's just act outside of them for the sake of the kids and let them come and live with me'. Does that make sense?
The thing that prompted my husband's ex-wife to start negotiating about 50/50 after many, many long months of refusing to budge on her pursued orders for alternate weekends was a) the quote of $8,000+ for trial; and b) legal advice from her lawyer that her case probably wouldn't hold up in front of our particular judge (who is a huge fan of equal parenting). It wouldn't surprise me if your ex was in the same boat.
All the same, we refused to meet privately. Her intention of a private meeting was to try and manipulate my husband with the same vigour that she was accustomed to before we took it to Court. She was not a good negotiator and her position was that 'No' was actually code for 'I just need more persuasion', and it had previously worked because my husband was fearful she would take their daughter and run if he didn't give in. We stuck to our guns and the outcome was very much in her favour.
It sounds like you have the upper hand. Keep your cool.
All the same, we refused to meet privately. Her intention of a private meeting was to try and manipulate my husband with the same vigour that she was accustomed to before we took it to Court. She was not a good negotiator and her position was that 'No' was actually code for 'I just need more persuasion', and it had previously worked because my husband was fearful she would take their daughter and run if he didn't give in. We stuck to our guns and the outcome was very much in her favour.
It sounds like you have the upper hand. Keep your cool.
So my son and my second eldest have sent me a text saying he won't be coming back to my place. What do I do? Things have escalated so quickly.
I know probably all parents say this (who are in this situation) but the messages sound so coached. They sound so adult. About respecting their wishes, etc, etc. They need this and they need time to heal.
What do I do? I'm calling a lawyer in the morning but what hope do I have?
I know probably all parents say this (who are in this situation) but the messages sound so coached. They sound so adult. About respecting their wishes, etc, etc. They need this and they need time to heal.
What do I do? I'm calling a lawyer in the morning but what hope do I have?
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