ACT What is the Difference Between Legal Aid and Funded Lawyer?

[goodgravy]

Hi again Sammy, this is not so much a question rather an invitation for your thoughts and perspective. Having said that legal aid can't get hold of my ex, I contacted her today in regard to an incident involving my son at school (he's had a few health issues) to find out what happened.

She replied with 'please direct all correspondence regarding this issue to my legal aid lawyer'. I feel increasingly that she may be building a 'case' that the kids are not safe with me or that I am the cause of their health issues and that was the basis of her applying to legal aid (and perhaps being successful with funding). As I said she's done this twice before and the court still ruled that they live with me if she's not in town.

Again, not a question per se. Just would appreciate you weighing in with one of your posts!

 

[AllForHer]

People say "Speak to my lawyer" when they want to intimidate without appearing aggressive. So best course of action?

Oblige her.

Legal Aid is pretty strict with their funding. If she's treating them like a messaging service, her lawyer is going to reach a threshold of having to ask if her case is genuine or not. Legal Aid is well aware the Court likes parents who get along, so if she's not even willing to communicate about something as minor as an incident at school, then the lawyer is going to see issues with taking the matter anywhere beyond settlement by consent.

So be polite and communicate through her lawyer, as per her request. If you contact her against her will, even for parenting matters, I guarantee she will call it harassment.

 

[sammy01]

yep write the letter - express concern about the fact that having to use solicitors to discuss basic parenting situations is making things un-neccesarily complex and you would appreciate it if the solicitor could discuss with their client better ways of managing such situations as they will inevitably arise between parents etc..

Write the letter - remove any names / specific details then post it here for feedback...

So my understanding is legal aid get a grant lets say $10 000.... Solicitor gets paid that money whether it takes 5 minutes of work OR months... So which would the solicitor prefer? Nice and easy right.... So in my case legal aid withdrew their funding because after mediation and after coming to agreements about everything she refused to accept phone calls from her own solicitor (among a whole bunch of other silliness on her part)... So legal aid withdrew her funding...

She then had to pay to get a solicitor..... That was a bit of a game changer because the costs of solicitors caused her additional pressure and motivation to compromise...

 

[goodgravy]

I'm so glad I posted that - i was going to do the opposite of what you suggested because it felt ridiculous. Really grateful for the feedback! I have written to the lawyer. I'm reluctant to post it because it would almost be impossible to not be able to identify the parties.

I just forwarded my ex's correspondence and said something along the lines of 'while I'm unsure why I have been directed to do so, I'm complying with her request and, respectfully, would like to get more information about the issues X is having (specifically about this incident and the follow-up, etc.)

 

[sammy01]

If nothing else by complying with her Hollywood movie 'talk to my lawyer' silliness you're helping the solicitor understand what he/she is dealing with...

 

[goodgravy]

Yeah. I hope so. It seems strange that Legal Aid can't get hold of her to confirm a date for our conference but she's directing me to talk to her lawyer (who is a legal aid lawyer based at the legal aid offices, not an external solicitor funded by legal aid). Oh well, thanks again to both of you. I guess I'll find out what the game plan is eventually.

 

[goodgravy]

And so the saga continues.

I'm reluctant to write this on my thread as it's becoming increasingly easy to identify myself and my kids from what I've been posting but I really am feeling a bit desperate. I just received a call from my 16-year-old son's school principal. The health issue my son has is related to his mental health. Basically, my ex has known about it for the last 6 months and hasn't told me. It's reasonably serious and I feel terrible that it's been something that I haven't been told about it or done anything about it.

Anyway, the principal called me because my ex came into the school and requested a meeting with him and the school counsellor and tried to get my son to say he was going to self-harm if he kept living with us. My son didn't say anything and actually said 'no, that's not true'. Not to downplay the issues, but for the most part, he's a pretty happy - for a teenager - kid and we have a good time and communicate well. But I'm still worried that this is the basis of my ex's argument for getting the kids to live with her.

Normally, I just ignore these kinds of tactics but this seems to have taken a new level of sinister and seems to be part of a long-running campaign. Should I be getting a lawyer at this stage? Am I overreacting to think that this is starting to verge on defamation (not to mention the impact on the kids)?

 

[sammy01]

So if the kid was threatening to self-harm if he had to spend time with you - that would be a concern. But that ain't the case. I'd be having a chat with the kid and the counsellor. I'd be trying to get some advice from a mental health professional about how to approach the issue with your son. You want to discuss providing the kid with strategies to help him deal with mum's antics...

That is just good parenting - but it also provides a paper trail to help if this ever goes to court...

I would definitely be wanting to bring this up as a cause for concern when you do mediation and I'd encourage you to be blunt. In short that you have concerns that she is trying to do whatever it takes to get her own way regardless of whether or not it is in the best interests of the kids...

BTW this ain't gonna go to court - not unless she relocates without consent and you have to take her to court. Why? She won't win.

I know, I know it is never a good idea to make statements like that because I don't have all the details but what the heck. Just this once... But from what you've said, she has come and gone from the kids lives, is inconsistent and a little crazy... No solicitor would advise her to take it to court...

Oh and one more thing - Make sure that when you go to mediation you tell her that in the event that she does take it to court to seek relocation, your response will be 1. No relocation and 2. In the event that you have to waste more money on solicitors because she makes the court application, your response will be to seek court orders that provide you with sole parental responsibility and her only having 2 nights a fortnight with the kids so that she has less time to try and use them as pawns to get her own way. (Go on I dare you)

I'd also suggest that she can relocate and you will provide more than half school holidays with mum (makes you seem like the nice guy).

Can't wait to hear what sort of craziness she comes up with at mediation. Make sure you keep us posted.

Is there anything in your current orders about informing each other about the kids' health? issues?

 

[goodgravy]

Thanks, Sammy. Yeah, I contacted a child psych to get some advice. And I did ask my son about the incident that sparked this off earlier this week and said if he needed to talk about things or tell me any issues he was having at my place then I would listen without judgement (this was before the school principal contacted me today).

He had a cry and we had a hug but he was reluctant to talk and I didn't push it so I don't want to force the issue any further. And he shuts down if I ever mention that things are difficult between me and his mum. It just seems so concerning that she tried to tell him what to say - agree though if it was true it would be concerning. It seems beyond crazy - so calculating.

You're right about the paper trail. Thinking I might ask if the counsellor or the principal would put in writing what was said in the meeting.

If we ever get a date for mediation I'll let you know how it goes. Though the way things are going you'll probably hear from me before then.

Thanks again. I do really appreciate it - it's one of the things keeping me sane. I'm so tired!

 

[sammy01]

Not legal advice - just some practical parenting from personal experience...

Not a bad idea to tell the kid your thoughts and invite him to respond later - give him some thinking time...

I tell my kids it is me being fair and letting them have a chance to make a considered response rather than them closing up or saying the first thing that comes into their heads...

But it is also showing the kid that you value their thoughts and more importantly, that you are being fair and reasonable. He will appreciate that, especially if he is feeling like his mum ain't being all that fair...