ACT What is the Difference Between Legal Aid and Funded Lawyer?

[sammy01]

I'm so sorry to hear. It is a very honourable thing to prioritise your kids to the point where you have to remove yourself from their life for their own good.

Stay positive and remember when the kids hit 12 then if they express an interest in living with dad, please post here so you can get some help on how to make it happen....

 

[MartyK]

I've followed your thread and wanted to say I'm very sorry to hear your 3 children will now be relocating. Yours has been a roller coaster ride. I hope that you have many good supports around you in what would be a very hard time for you. Stay strong!

 

[goodgravy]

Thanks Marty, much appreciated. I always knew it would happen this way. They'll be back one day. Honestly, as cold as it sounds im at least grateful for the financial stability the binding financial agreement offers.

I was getting new assesments from csa almost monthly because of my ex changing jobs or not being employed. Silver lining etc...

 

[goodgravy]

Hi again. So I'm back. Hopefully looking for some reassurance.

So quick recap. My ex took my kids to WA a couple of months ago. She had been working on them for months telling them how exciting a seachange would be. I didn't bother fighting it because she was playing silly buggers with everyone and taking the oldest to a psych and insinuating abuse of the kids at our hands (she's reported us to child protection before). Plus the kids seemed keen and trying to hang on to them was hurting my relationship with them.

The ex organised a family law conference. I went. We drew up new orders and I asked the ex to sign a binding financial agreement. I now see my kids in school holidays. She literally left the state a week after the conference. Piled the kids into the car and left. Didnt have a house or job lined up.

My kids were the only thing keeping me and my family where we were living. So we have since relocated too.

Now my ex is threatening to go back to court. She says she was decieved by me. That I used her desperation to get her to sign a binding child support agreement. And that I was making secret plans to leave the state. That I forced her to leave the state with no job to go to. None of this is true. And she wants to take my holidays with the kids away and write up new orders.

I'm so tired. It kills me not seeing my kids. I got her to sign a binding agreement at a capped amount because she's often unemployed and the amount I pay varies wildly all the time. I knew she would try and whittle away the time I do have with my kids now. It's not an unreasonable amount. It's a bit more than what I was paying when she had 60:40 custody. It's distasteful to make it about money but that's the reality. I won't be able to make ends meet. My wife already had to give up her job because we couldn't afford childcare for my children.

I guess my question is vague but is she going to be able to lawyer up with a legal aid lawyer in WA and we're going to have to go through all this sh*t again? Is the onus on me to prove that I didn't use deception or withhold material information (about my intent to move) when I asked her to sign the binding agreement?

 

[goodgravy]

To add more info we were in the family law conference when she agreed to the new orders and the binding agreement. The mediator and her legal aid rep were present. Her legal aid rep was not allowed to sign the agreement so the ex had to take it to another lawyer to get signed.

 

[sammy01]

When did you last see / speak to the kids?

No she won't get legal aid...

Can you bounce some figures regarding the BFA vs what CSA would have you paying? What is the difference per fortnight?

What are the arrangements for you to see the kids? is she threatening to withhold???

Hard as it is - ignore everything. Don't engage with threats. Invite her to take you to court.

Look, here is the thing to get back to court she has to establish either grounds for appeal. That is there was a legal error made. Now with two different solicitors giving advice to her, that sounds implausible. So the other reason to try to get to court is a substantial change in circumstance. Now unless you're now living substantially closer to her then that doesn't apply....

So help me out - What relevance does the fact that you've relocated got to anything, how does that impact on her?

 

[goodgravy]

She maintains that had she known we wanted to move interstate - which we did want and have been open about, and have the ability to transfer our jobs easily, but which we wouldn't have done if the kids and her had stayed living in the same city (we were committed to stay there until then turned 18) - she would have held out for more money and wouldn't have been so hasty to sign the BFA. She thinks she has been tricked and is trying to use the 'withheld material evidence ' to overturn the BFA.

I'm reluctant to post figures here for privacy reasons. She is entitled to just under double what she's getting from us now. I am aware I sound like a deadbeat dad trying to avoid child support. That really isnt the case. I've always paid child support and didn't ask her for any both times she left the state and left me with the kids. The BFA was security for me and my family and also a disincetive for her to leave. If the kids ask me for money I givenit to them.

I really appreciate your response Sammy. I guess I have little faith that she wont succeed in whatever she has planned because she seems to 'win' (I know it's not about winning) by sheer perseverance and craziness. We have spent two house deposits on recovery orders and she seems to come away unscathed. And with the kids. It's my understanding that bfas are hard to overturn and wanting more holidays are not grounds for changing orders but I just don't know...

 

[goodgravy]

I speak to all the kids weekly. And saw them last school holidays. To answer your question

She maintains that had she known we wanted to move interstate - which we did want and have been open about, and have the ability to transfer our jobs easily, but which we wouldn't have done if the kids and her had stayed living in the same city (we were committed to stay there until then turned 18) - she would have held out for more money and wouldn't have been so hasty to sign the BFA. She thinks she has been tricked and is trying to use the 'withheld material evidence ' to overturn the BFA.

Im reluctant to post figures here for privacy reasons. She is entitled to just under double what she's getting from us now. I am aware I sound like a deadbeat dad trying to avoid child support. That really isnt the case. Ive always paid child support and didnt ask her for any both times she left the state and left me with the kids. The BFA was security for me and my family and also a disincetive for her to leave. If the kids ask me for money I givenit to them.

I really appreciate your response Sammy. I guess I have little faith that she wont succeed in whatever she has planned because she seems to 'win' (i know its not about winning) by sheer perseverance and craziness. We have spent two house deposits on recovery orders and she seems to come away unscathed. And with the kids. It's my understanding that bfas are hard to overturn and wanting more holidays are not grounds for changing orders but i just dont know...

 

[sammy01]

Do nothing - if she withholds the kids get back to us. But for the minute just smile and nod and agree to nothing.

I still have no idea what your location has to do with her money have you moved somewhere that pays you heaps more for you work?

 

[goodgravy]

She's said she's going to be keeping the kids for half of the school holidays (orders say they spend every holiday with me) and that they will be spending Christmas with her - so threatening to withhold but not actually withholding yet. She's had two of the kids text me to tell me that this is what they will be doing.

I've already booked their tickets over to me. Can't see that I can do much about that. I can't force them to come. I don't want to alienate them more.

As I write all this down, I can actually see how ludicrous this is and that, while I know she will breach the orders with the holidays, legally she's just full of threats. So thanks for being a place to get some perspective!

You're right sammy. Us relocating has nothing to do with her money. And I'm actually earning less down here! She is trying to say that it is material though. That we had been plotting to move and if she had known about our intentions to move at the time of the FLC (even though we didn't have any intentions) she never would have agreed to our request for a binding financial agreement and would have refused to sign. Thus getting more money because we would have to pay the csa assessed amount.

If you know about binding child support agreements (and I guess I was hoping to get some more insight and info here), there are only several ways to dissolve them. One of the ways is to claim that the other party withheld material information that would have influenced your decision. And this is where the ex is trying to go. That we deceived her. And that she's going to take us back to court on these grounds.