QLD Using a medical certificate to with hold care

[Just-entering-the-system]

Hi all,
as far as I understand, using illness as a reason to withhold care isnt supposed to happen
less than 24 hours before handover we receive an email from OP's solicitor stating that the child has had received urgent medical care and a medical certificate
(usual text but with an added note: her mother OP will need to look after child during this period) has been issued

This is not the first time OP has used illness as a reason for child not to come over, and as they have started daycare in october we expect it to be used more often to with hold care time
there are 50/50 court orders in place and over the past 3 months have lost a lot of care time due to "illness" we have challenged OP's claim to child being sick a few times and child has been ok at those handovers (noted)
But this is the first time OP has pulled a medical certificate with a solicitors notice

Court orders state the parents are supposed to contact for emergency issues, (not done) provide doctors contact details (not done) this is despite requests to be provided

Just wondering if anyone has any advice or insight as to where this may be leading or if any one has any suggestions on what the best steps to take around this situation would be
thank you

 

[sammy01]

Are these interim orders? Final orders? does the certificate say the kid is infectious or some reasonable excuse to have to stay with mum? I"m guessing NO to the last question, but thought I'd ask.

The advice changes a bit depending on interim OR final orders.

But I'd be writing back to solicitor. Do it yourself. Don't waste $ on this one buy paying a solicitor. Run the letter past the nice folk here first... But that letter you write will cost HER to have solicitor read. GOOD.
Points to include.
1. Nothing in the orders to stipulate a sick kid needs mum
2. This is becoming a trend and needs to stop. In the event that the trend continues you will be negotiating with mum for make up time. I mum refuses to negotiate then mum will be advised that hence forth any time lost will be made up by withholding the child for the same amount of time as had been lost.

BUT if you're only at interim orders you might wanna re-consider.

 

[Just-entering-the-system]

Thanks for you reply @sammy01
have final consent orders signed and stamped approved by courts

letter from solicitor states
our client instructs that child has been suffering from a chest infection which has required urgent medical attention. On (date) our client facilitated childs attendance at (medical centre) where (child) was seen by (doctor) who prescribed (child) to take (medication) x times per day and advised that (child) should stay in the care of our client until at least (date). (doctor) further advised that during this time (child) would be deemed unfit to attend daycare. Please find enclosed certificate from (doctor)
We kindly request for your confirmation that you consent for (child) to remain in our clients care until (date) being the weekend following (childs) recovery period as recommended by (doctor)
I got a txt by OP at 11,30pm asking to check my emails, pretty much knew at the point some bull s**t was about to happen read the email told OP that they should attend handover anyway pretty much told F U I have a medical certificate (child) not coming talk to you next week and then blocked, standard action by OP
have yet to reply to solicitor probably not a good thing but have lost time anyway
Can absolutely guarantee if the same thing was tried by our side well,
will start drafting a letter for solicitor I guess, but have a feeling, if worded that (child) would not be returned to OPs care in anyway shape or form would only result in (child) not being handed over at time in the near future (for fear or child not being returned to OP at all)
OP is as you like to say a nutter 😶

 

[Atticus]

Court orders state the parents are supposed to contact for emergency issues, (not done) provide doctors contact details (not done) this is despite requests to be provided

I would be writing to solicitor & asking that the Dr's details be provided to you as per court orders & that mum give authority to the Dr to discuss the child's condition with you. After being properly informed of the child's illness, condition & prognosis, then you will be in a much better position to consider the request, ie, .... We kindly request for your confirmation that you consent for (child) to remain in our clients care until (date) being the weekend following (childs) recovery period as recommended by (doctor)

 

[Just-entering-the-system]

Thank you @Atticus
will be putting that into the letter to the solicitor that OP has once again breached orders about not contacting for urgent medical care, OP has been asked to provide contact details on previous occasions. But the information has not yet been disclosed nor do I think she would give the authority to disclose info, I assume that I would be able to take a copy of the court documents to the doctors that were listed on the medical certificate and get the info that way?
Trying to stay by the advice given to reduce conflict and stay out of court unless absolutely necessary.
OP often gets verbally aggressive or just blocks contact unless things are done to her exact specifications

 

[Atticus]

I assume that I would be able to take a copy of the court documents to the doctors that were listed on the medical certificate and get the info that way?

The court orders only compel mum, not the DR... Also if the court order just sates that mum is to provide the contact details of the consulting DR, then i guess she has done that if the DR's contact details (or name of consulting rooms) are on the certificate...

I would be calling the centre & asking to speak to the DR. If the DR is open to discussing your child's case with you, all well & good, you can then base your decision to agree to the child remaining in mums care on that discussion... If the DR refuses to discuss the case, then I would be telling her solicitor that you require mum to give authority to the DR to do so, or alternatively, you want the child made available to you to take to your DR for a consultation to confirm the condition before agreeing to you accepting what is being asked, ie, the child remaining in mums care until well.

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so go make a cuppa.
How many days have you missed in the last 12 months? Now given you have 50/50 care (generally) I reckon you wanna read a book called The subtle art of not giving a fcuk. I've read it about 10 times because I need to be reminded. See my ex even after all these years is still nasty and vindictive. Look in her defence she has softened a little BUT I'm sure there are times when the conflict she causes is soo stupid that the only reason to be bothered is because causing conflict is a bit of a hobby.... You have mentioned that when you raise any concerns she just blocks you... So out stories sound a bit the same. I reckon you need to employ a new strategy here.

So while my ex is still a nutter, I have done my best to move on. Not perfect, still have to re-read the subtle art of not giving a fcuk every once in a while BUT I don't let her crazy s**t get to me anymore.... And as a result she seems to have calmed down a little. See she isnt seeing me screaming and waving the court orders when she breaches, or writing letters or applying to court, or applying for more mediation. I don't buy into her dramas and strangely as a result there seem to be a lot fewer dramas.

Now most blokes on this site are fighting to get to see their kids. If you've got 50/50 but over a year it winds up at 45/55 I reckon you're on a winner. So do some yoga, drink some Chai

Now bring it in tight and pay attention.... So right now you're thinking I'm some sort of Zen Buddah dude swimming in the sea of tranqulity. NOPE. I'm pretty cunning, you don't wanna play me in chess. You need to be strategic. Huffying and puffing when mum has a doctor's certificate is not good strategy. Huffing and puffing is never a good strategy. All it does it tell her two things.
1. She is winning.
2. It is upsetting you.
So let's change the strategy.
My strategy?
1. Do nothing as far as fighting this out with mum (especially this time because she has a doctor's certificate)
2. Go to Bunnings. Read on...
If you're finding yourself a bit bored because your child isn't there, go to bunnings buy some paint and paint her bedroom so there is a surprise for her when she comes back. AND if possible make sure you get to tell her on the phone that there is a little surprise waiting at daddy's house... That way mum can enjoy the rest of her time with the kid whinging about how she wants to go to daddy's house to see the surprise.

So write to the ex,
Dear ex,
Thanks for keeping an eye on XXXX. I'm only too happy and capable of having her in my care while she is unwell. Let me know if there is anything I can do to be of assistance. Please let me know when is a good time to call to talk to XXXXX
Kind Regards