VIC Breach of Interstate Order

[cinnamon]

What would be the best course of action here?
1. OP took children interstate in Dec/Jan school holiday, no communication prior received. Over heard conversation from the children and confirmation on their return into my care. No court orders stipulating OP needs to notify other co-parent at that time.
2. Back to court in May 2021, court order below added. I received a message stating their intention to take the children to X state (no address) and a contact number. (which I obviously have, since it's the OP's) No itinerary has been sent even though requested by me and ordered. Schools notified me on last day of term that children have not attended school and their reason for absence "Holidays" as lodged by the OP. The children are suppose to go to the OP for the 1st half of holidays, though I have NO IDEA where they are or in the event of an emergency, since no itinerary has been provided to date and OP remains unresponsive.

"If either party wishes to take the children for an interstate holiday during their time with the children, they shall provide the other party with at least 14 days’ written notice of such intention as well as details relating to the travel itinerary, location and a telephone number where the children can be contacted during such holiday."

 

[sammy01]

What would be the best course of action here? Make a cuppa tea...
Yup - see what are you gonna do. Go back to court every time there is a minor breach?
It sounds like this is not impacting on your time with the kids? so sip the tea...

Story time - back in the day I had a court ordered phone call. 6.30pm on Wednesdays... NEVER HAPPENED. If I called at 6.29 NO answer - 6.31 She would answer and tell me I was late and hang up... I call right on 6.30pm Maybe she would answer but only to tell me 6.30 is dinner time, kids busy get stuffed. So I stop calling. Then I get text messages about how the kids know I'm not calling and it must be because I didn't care.... FFS.

So - I made a cup of tea. Some crap you just cant fix and tea is calming... See this crap is stupid mind games and in this instance you're not gonna win, so don't play the game.

 

[cinnamon]

I made tea, thanks for the perspective. So I just need to trust that the children are safe, letting go?

 

[sammy01]

Let's forget the plague for a minute.
Why would the kids be any less safe just because they crossed a state border?
Look, your ex is being a twit. By not notifying you he is simply having fun causing you stress. Sure, you can kick and scream and quote the orders but push comes to shove they're just bits of paper so the more you kick and scream, the more he knows he has been successful at pissing you off.

 

[Atticus]

What would be the best course of action here?

In proportion to the seriousness of the breach? ... I think @sammy01 has nailed it ...

No time lost with kids as a result... no harm done. I guess half of school holidays means only 7 days? Could be a reason no itinerary & location were provided.
A polite reminder is as far as I would go... It's really not worth any drama.

 

[Exwife]

I’d only be concerned at the minute given the border restrictions in place at the moment, ie. are the children going to have to isolate at home on their return? Perhaps try that route with the other parent, as I imagine that will impact your time. But I wouldn’t worry about a breach or anything - only worry about those things that are going to impact your time (ie like I mentioned above)

 

[cinnamon]

I really appreciate this advice, especially keeping perspective and that if it doesn't interfere my parenting time, then just let it go.

Cool, so they came back into my care, not with ease, the area they were in became an "orange zone" in which they had to get tested and of coarse the results were not back in time before our exchange. So cool, I just that once you know the results, then we can exchange. The exchanged literally only differed by an hour, though the communication on the OP's end sucked. (There is no better term )

So, the story continues, children tell me a bunch of non-stop stories. I take things with a pinch of salt, though I LISTEN intently. It came out that they visited not only their cousins, whom I am familiar with, but the OP's girlfriend's father whom lives in Canberra as well. He has been in jail (I have heard this now on multiple occasions from the children. This "jail" thing clearly made an impression.) and now as reported by my 6YO gives "good hugs".

I had to then go into a discussion about "hugs", since this is not something you freely give to everyone, but I am so pissed-off that my children now have direct exposure to a guilt-founded criminal and praying that his crime is petty thievery.

What do I do?

(PS: I won't be filing a Contravention Order for the stupid breach, though the matter still focuses on the children's safety.)

 

[Exwife]

I completely sympathise with you on the covid testing, I had the same issue.

As for the partners father, I’m not sure that anything could be done in that respect, except be thankful their exposure will be minimal if he is interstate. Look, my ex husband used to berate me about who the children were exposed to in my time and it used would cause unnecessary conflict so it’s probably only something you can note and/or monitor, but probably not something worth raising with the OP. That’s only my opinion though..

 

[Atticus]

It came out that they visited not only their cousins, whom I am familiar with, but the OP's girlfriend's father whom lives in Canberra as well. He has been in jail (I have heard this now on multiple occasions from the children. This "jail" thing clearly made an impression.) and now as reported by my 6YO gives "good hugs".

So you are basing this "jail thing" only on the word of children? .... You don't think maybe dad loves his kids & is perfectly able to look out for them while in his care?

What do I do?

Stop trying to control everything....Use the visitation time to go out & have a good time. Relax

 

[GlassHalfFull]

Only other suggestion I have is that maybe you should just bank these 'transgressions' of the orders. Make a note of things for now. If there's enough of them, you may have a persuasive case for a variation of the orders if and when a pattern emerges.