1 - get orders for you to have the kids...
2. As far as the house. Clearly defined orders. So my rough version.
a - house to be put on the market with XXX(agent) at their recommended sale price.
b - In the event the house does not sell in 6 weeks the price drops by $10k and continues to drop by $10k every 4 weeks there after (unless both parties choose differently)
c- If the house has not sold within 4 months it goes to auction.
d- the mother be responsible for ensuring all maintenance is done and that the property is presentable for sale
e- In the event it does not sell after auction the father has the option to either move in and the mother vacate OR put tennants in the property.
F- while the mother lives there she is soley responsible for rates, water, electricity gas, lawn maintenance etc etc.
You need contingencies for your contingencies. Mate by the sound of things she's living a fine life in a nice suburb and when the gravy train ends she's gonna find herself living is substantially less luxury. I'm probably stating the bleeding obvious to you, but i don't this she understands it.
BTW - your intention here - keeping the kids in the house is honourable. God bless ya. But. there is nothing in family law that sees honour being regarded well. Infact, ask any family law solicitor and they'll tell you dirty tactics works best. And - I get trying to save the kids from having to move etc... But they're gonna be moving in 2 and a bit yrs time. Based on the ages of the two younger kids, better to move now while still in primary school. If they have to move schools best done asap. Bloody good time to sell. And is moving house really all that much of a trauma. Sorry mate, school teacher here. Kids don't need cotton wool wrapt around them - they need a can of toughen the fcuk up.
If mum wants to play hardball, my advice? Give her 6 months to get out of the house (which is reasonable) a 60 /40 asset split and you pay child support and I know you've mentioned asset split has already been agreed, so I hope is is around the 60/40 mark give or take 10% (btw- what i'm suggesting is reasonable).
Scenario - you go to a restaurant - the food is s**t. The waitress farts in your face as she walks past and ashes her ciggie in your dinner. Do you leave a tip? Now lets imagine the waitress is the ex. Do you give her extra $ when she is being a right stubborn b***h? Psychology 101 - if you pay someone to be rude they will be more rude in the hope of getting a pay rise. You can't buy yourself out of this one.
And as for the kids- if you think throwing $$$ at mum is gonna stop this divorce from causing your kids emotional pain then you're an idiot. Giving the kids great holidays, same - won't help... See there are two things you wrote in your first post that I'm gonna smash you on.
"but I hate the idea of having to force my kids to come to stay with me if they don’t want to"
Your kids need their dad right now. They need you to be strong, kind and loving. They need you to tell them that it will all be ok.
And
"My ex wants me to pay for extras above Child Support " of course she does. I want you to buy me a case of beer for spending my time writing this. But I doubt you will.... Child support is calculated using a complex formula - It is meant to be fair. I've never heard of a mother saying 'Gee I'd like you to pay less child support....' Mate - my ex wants me dead, but I'm not gonna agree to her requests...
Now go make a cuppa and read this again. Maybe print it and read it on your lunch break today. A bit of tough love? sure. But good advice.
cheers
2. As far as the house. Clearly defined orders. So my rough version.
a - house to be put on the market with XXX(agent) at their recommended sale price.
b - In the event the house does not sell in 6 weeks the price drops by $10k and continues to drop by $10k every 4 weeks there after (unless both parties choose differently)
c- If the house has not sold within 4 months it goes to auction.
d- the mother be responsible for ensuring all maintenance is done and that the property is presentable for sale
e- In the event it does not sell after auction the father has the option to either move in and the mother vacate OR put tennants in the property.
F- while the mother lives there she is soley responsible for rates, water, electricity gas, lawn maintenance etc etc.
You need contingencies for your contingencies. Mate by the sound of things she's living a fine life in a nice suburb and when the gravy train ends she's gonna find herself living is substantially less luxury. I'm probably stating the bleeding obvious to you, but i don't this she understands it.
BTW - your intention here - keeping the kids in the house is honourable. God bless ya. But. there is nothing in family law that sees honour being regarded well. Infact, ask any family law solicitor and they'll tell you dirty tactics works best. And - I get trying to save the kids from having to move etc... But they're gonna be moving in 2 and a bit yrs time. Based on the ages of the two younger kids, better to move now while still in primary school. If they have to move schools best done asap. Bloody good time to sell. And is moving house really all that much of a trauma. Sorry mate, school teacher here. Kids don't need cotton wool wrapt around them - they need a can of toughen the fcuk up.
If mum wants to play hardball, my advice? Give her 6 months to get out of the house (which is reasonable) a 60 /40 asset split and you pay child support and I know you've mentioned asset split has already been agreed, so I hope is is around the 60/40 mark give or take 10% (btw- what i'm suggesting is reasonable).
Scenario - you go to a restaurant - the food is s**t. The waitress farts in your face as she walks past and ashes her ciggie in your dinner. Do you leave a tip? Now lets imagine the waitress is the ex. Do you give her extra $ when she is being a right stubborn b***h? Psychology 101 - if you pay someone to be rude they will be more rude in the hope of getting a pay rise. You can't buy yourself out of this one.
And as for the kids- if you think throwing $$$ at mum is gonna stop this divorce from causing your kids emotional pain then you're an idiot. Giving the kids great holidays, same - won't help... See there are two things you wrote in your first post that I'm gonna smash you on.
"but I hate the idea of having to force my kids to come to stay with me if they don’t want to"
Your kids need their dad right now. They need you to be strong, kind and loving. They need you to tell them that it will all be ok.
And
"My ex wants me to pay for extras above Child Support " of course she does. I want you to buy me a case of beer for spending my time writing this. But I doubt you will.... Child support is calculated using a complex formula - It is meant to be fair. I've never heard of a mother saying 'Gee I'd like you to pay less child support....' Mate - my ex wants me dead, but I'm not gonna agree to her requests...
Now go make a cuppa and read this again. Maybe print it and read it on your lunch break today. A bit of tough love? sure. But good advice.
cheers