NSW Should I settle for this outcome or go to court?

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Peter J

Member
7 January 2021
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I see you are using the name Mark 10, which is Jesus teaching on divorce.
Are you a Christian and if so, why don’t you repair the relationship.
I don’t know what your issues are, but I do know that all relationships can be healed, if you are willing to humble yourself.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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@Mark10 .... The problems you have by trying to kick all this down the road 2.5 years are many.... You can only guess at what circumstances may be in that time, & trying to cover every contingency in a BFA now is just not possible.... Employment & income may change for either of you, new partners may come along that will alter the dynamics, health issues may arise, property values, interest rates, the rental market etc etc etc

If it was me I reckon I would be looking at getting a BFA drawn up for the 60/40 split as agreed, but forget all the 40% mortgage payments for 2.5 years. If you can afford to I would be buying out her 60% interest in the place NOW at current property valuation .... Having a BFA means no transfer costs for the title change into your name only.

Enter into a 2.5 year lease with a fixed rate of rent with her & an option to extend IF you BOTH agree. The normal conditions of a lease apply, ie, she defaults on rent, or wrecks the place it comes out of bond, you pay council rates, water rates & maintain if needed, & you review rent if you decide to extend after 2.5 years

Point is, you are formally settled as far as property is concerned so the family law aspect is done with & she & the kids get to remain there for the 2.5 years ... I would only be paying the assessed amount of CS. Kids can be included in your medical cover.
 

Mark10

Active Member
10 July 2021
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Thanks Atticus. My ex won't agree to me buying her out (emotional reason) and there's now way she would have me being her landlord. I will keep trying to buy her out though - saving on more stamp duty would be great.

She wants the option to give me 28 days notice if she wants to sell before the 2.5 yrs (so she can proceed if she finds another property to buy). I turned that down because it wouldn't give me much time to get set to buy again myself - and so the risk of being off the property ladder for a few months. But maybe it's not such a bad thing if I give her the option to trigger an earlier sale date. If she felt a bit more in control it might increase the chance she decides to sell sooner.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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My ex won't agree to me buying her out (emotional reason) and there's now way she would have me being her landlord.
Well then her emotional baggage is standing in the way of a good outcome for her, the kids & you... Maybe her lawyer needs to explain that she would be better served by removing the emotion.

In any event, if it were to go to court (as she is threatening) the court would see you buying out her share as a viable option that she should consider, & if she doesn't agree, & can't buy out your share, then the court orders the house be sold.... Your'e not doing yourself or anybody else a favour by being manipulated & coerced (controlled if you like) into a settlement that you have grave misgivings about, & leaves you vulnerable to further manipulation in 2.5 years time... Just my opinion.
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Hmmm amateur psychologist here. Count up in your posts how many times you have used the words "her" or 'she". Compare that to how many time you used the words "me", "myself". Divorce is about going separate ways. Not having to give a s**t about what SHE wants...
Ok the 28 day thing isn't a bad idea. The 2 1/2 yr thing is. Divorce means separating your s**t, moving on, making her a memory from the past, not 2 1/2 yrs more suffering. What you don't seem to understand, and more importantly, what SHE doesn't understand is that this s**t should (in an ideal world be equal - truth justice and the American way and all that crap) but the world isnt like that... Someone here has the upper hand. Guess what. That person is YOU. Money talks.... $200k pa vs 75kpa....

A generous property settlement - no need for additional child support - s**t talk about wanting your cake and eating it too.... And asset division done.

Look, I'm a bit of a softie - despite what I've said above - I like the idea of the 2 1/2 yr thing... But, I've been in a really really nice house. One the ex had to leave (not mine - a mate). Walls smashed rude graffitti about dad painted on the walls. Just nasty vindictive ex at her worst... He never thought to have a sentence put into the orders along the lines of - In the event the ex gets vindictive and does $20 000 damage to the house on her way out, the cost of the repairs will come out of her portion of the profits when it sells. So he blew $20 000 getting s**t fixed because there was no way the house would sell looking like that.
 

Mark10

Active Member
10 July 2021
10
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I'm now arguing with my ex as to whether it's reasonable to expect me to pay anything towards the mortgage.

I've moved out and am renting my own place. I'm offering that she can stay in the house for the next 2.5 yrs until the kids start High School ( against advice on here I know). We're looking at a 60/40 split on the property.

My argument: as a 40% owner I should be paying 40% of the mortgage payments BUT I should also be collecting 40% of the rental value from her (and the market based rental value is higher than our mortgage payments - so basically I'm saying one offsets the other so I don't need to pay anything). She's maintaining I should be paying 40% of the mortgage and she shouldn't have to pay me any rent.

I'm arguing that I'm doing her a favour by letting her stay in a nice house where the mortgage payments are lower than the cost of renting a comparable place.

Am I on solid ground here? i.e. if it went to court a judge isn't going to penalise me for not contributing towards the mortgage?
 

sammy01

Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
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Ok, yeah, sure argument kinda make sense. And sure other options, are available... Both move out, rent it and split the rent 50/50.. OR sell it now. OR you move in pay all the mortgage until it sells. All good arguments. But arguments are best avoided. But arguments are best avoided YUP wrote twice, to make you read it twice But arguments are best avoided, did it again to make sure the message sinks in. But arguments are best avoided.... Just in case... And there is emotion here. Frankly, you've started a new barney when you already had enough to fight about.

Yep, you're doing her a favour. Good idea. Small win for the greater good. But you seem happy for her to be in there for 2 2/5 yrs? But you just moved the goal posts.

As for what a judge would say / do... Well you NEVER want to find out. There are better options. Banks will accept financial hardship. You could go interest only for 2 yrs. You could give up on the 2 2/5 yr plan and insist it sell now... But make a plan and stick to it. The 2/25 yr plan is problematic, but then so is every other plan. So long as the orders clearly state who the game plays out. So I reckon I spooked you with the what if she trashes the joint problem... SOLUTION - a clause. The ex pays for upkeep over the two years and in the event that the real estate agent recommends maintenance be done to assist the sale the wife is responsible for paying those costs... OR if she breaks it she pays for it... And if she can't afford it then you pay and be re-embursed after the sale of the property.
IF paying 40% is too much for you, then offer 30%. She is still getting a good deal right? And the $$ you put into the house is $$ you get back, so you're only out of pocket a little because you could put that $ in investments, but then, the house will go up in value over the next 2 2/5 yrs too....
Avoid court.
 

Atticus

Well-Known Member
6 February 2019
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So you're arguing about how best to do what she wants & crossing everything you have that she will cooperate in 2.5 years to sell up & end her cushy lifestyle....Crazy.

If you go to court, given the large wage disparity, it's quite likely she will seek periodical spousal maintenance pending a settlement, & may possibly get it... Solution, see my earlier post.

Settle now... Buy out her share & give her the 60%.... Settlement done, no reason for spousal maintenance...She can stay in the house as long as she pays the agreed rent. If her emotions won't allow her to deal with you as a landlord, then put it in the hands of a property manager. It will be a tax write off anyway, as will any maintenance you have to do on the place. Insure it against malicious damage as well in case she turns vindictive nutter.