NSW Second Directions hearing and role of the ICL?

[Twooke]

Hi All,

Just letting you know how the second directions hearing went yesterday. I feel that it went pretty good! And thank this website and you guys for the help so far.

Up to yesterday the other side still hadn’t returned the paperwork for the application in a case. I also felt quite prepared as I had a day off last week and went into court to watch and get prepared and confident; I felt this helped greatly as well.

Even before we went in to court her solicitor approached me asking me to drop the contravention order in exchange for an extra two hours at the supervision centre on Saturdays for a month (as make up time), after ringing them up and them confirming that they have room for my son and I on Saturdays, I agreed, so before I went into court I now had doubled the time I’ve been spending with my boy.

During the hearing the judge seemed to really listen to what has been happening from my point of view, I provided a copy of my contact centre reports to the other party, and despite not wanting them tendered yet the judge seemed really interested to know what they said, he was smiling while I was telling him and he asked me quite a few questions about what was written on the reports about my time with my son, he wasn’t as warm to my exes side, and was very short and cut her solicitor off a number of times. So after yesterday:

• My ex had to make an undertaking to the court to say she wouldn’t inhibit my son and I’s time together anymore
  
  
• Provided us (me) with the ability to apply and be back in court within two weeks if the orders are contravened again
  
  
• We both have to attend a parenting course, which I am totally fine with.
  
  
• An ICL will now be appointed
  
  
• And I now see my son supervised for 4 hours a week instead of 2.
  

I also brought up the contradicting evidence of the breastfeeding issue, as I have been told by the supervision centre that my ex has told them that my son only has 1-2 breastfeeds a day, while she was telling the court that he is almost fully breastfed. When I asked for permission to subpoena my sons medical records about this, she admitted that she only breast feeds him in the morning and night now. The judge allowed me to subpoena my sons medical records… he actually said “If she’s been lying about breastfeeding I wonder what else might be found in those records”

Nothing else came about except for the fact that my application in a case has been put off for 8 weeks, which is after my AVO has expired, the judge said that he prefers to hear it after this – this kinda sucks, as I was hoping to get some more time sooner, but at least I can start to build a stronger relationship with my boy during extra supervision so that will be a stronger case for unsupervised time with me, as well as no longer having the “restrictions” of the AVO i.e. asking for changeovers at a maccas and not having to worry about proximity to my ex being an issue, also it will hopefully give me a chance to check out my boys medical records.

One of the last things the judge said was that it would be good to see how our relationships evolves now that our time is doubled and has kept it in the orders not just for the month, but for the whole eight weeks.

It’s weird despite everything I wrote in this post we were in and out within 25 minutes!

Can I ask, what is the role of the ICL that is now going to be included in our case? Does this mean that they think it’s going to go on for a while?

For now I am (very unexpectedly) getting prepared to see my boy again twice within a week tomorrow !

Thanks, T

 

[Rod]

Great result, and thanks for the update.

Sorry, I can't answer your query about the ICL.

 

[AllForHer]

That's wonderful to hear, Twooke!! You're handling all of this very well, and it's great your efforts are being noticed by the Court. I imagine the judge probably wants to wait on the Application in a Case to protect you and the child from any possible complications that mum might cause if you combine an AVO with unsupervised time - who knows what allegations she might fabricate to foil progress if she can't even handle two hours a week?

The assignment of an ICL doesn't necessarily say much about how long the matter is expected to last. Their role is to provide recommendations to the Court about appropriate parenting orders based on their understanding of the evidence and their observation of the parents.

In short, they represent your son's best interests, independent of the opinions of the parents.

One of the difficulties the Court faces in parenting matters is that they have two parents jostling to have the Court believe they know better than the other about their children's best interests. An ICL helps alleviate that issue by providing an objective view of the situation.

Have you enrolled for the post-separation parenting course yet? If not, it's a good idea to do so as soon as possible. When we did it, the intake process took several weeks and the course itself was one night a week for six weeks, so the sooner the better.

Congratulations again, I'm very happy for you! I imagine your relationship with your son will grow in leaps and bounds now that there's only a couple of days between visits instead of a full week. Young children have short memories - their memory of a person starts to go hazy after just two or three days, so this will likely help alleviate that issue for your son in a big way.

 

[SamanthaJay]

Great news Twooke! Very happy for you and your little guy.

 

[Twooke]

Thanks guy, It was great seeing him again this afternoon and he had a grin on his face the second he saw me which was great.

I took some advice that I read on here and took a few days off over the last few months and went and sat in my Judges court and got really prepared doing that - seeing how he judges and stuff and how I should act and conduct myself.

No I haven't done a parenting course yet but as I left the courthouse I rang relationships Australia and there's a course going on Parenting after separation - focus on kids, in May, that looks like one I can do, the only thing is it starts after the next time I'm back in court.. the lady told me that I need to attend an intake interview then they will write a letter to the court to say that I am booked in and they said, as long as I start the course on the date it will be fine, and yeah they said it's a six week course.

Ok so the ICL is a good thing for my son, that's good to know.