QLD How to Deal with Ex Living with New Girlfriend?

[LouiseThomas]

Ex has a new girlfriend with him. I know my ex can do what he wants, but I am struggling with the feelings given our son spends time there. It bothers me that they can play happy families when I have been on my own trying to do my best for son since we split.

He didn't bother to let me know. I found out through our son who I just picked up from school. I would let ex know but he doesn't feel the need to tell me.

How have others managed their feelings with this? How do I talk with our son about this?

 

[Cairns123]

For me it’s about the kids being happy and cared for. Other than that I felt it’s my issue and to discuss that with a psych.

I tell my kids they can enjoy both homes and not be fearful or embarrassed about having fun.

I don’t have the money either so I struggle and the ex is wealthy with lots of opportunities- but candy and money is soon seen through by the kids and it comes back to being loved and

 

[sammy01]

Ok so law forum... so not legal help you're after.


It bothers you... you have to deal with...

One of the worst times of my life when dealing with this stuff was when the kids accidently didn't call me dad. They used the boyfriend's name... They corrected themselves most of the time...

How to talk to son? Don't.... If he asks, then talk. Put your emotions aside and be honest...

 

[thatbloke]

It's none of your business what or who your ex sees. Be happy

 

[Complex16]

I think you should go see someone to help you work through your emotions about it and provide some strategies to deal and move forward. Therapy can be incredibly beneficial.

 

[AllForHer]

I agree with the above. Speak to a counsellor, not your ex or your son. If you must say something to your son about it, tell him that when people fall in love, they usually do move in together, and all it means for him is more people to help care and provide for him.

 

[LouiseThomas]

It is hard and I don't like the feelings I am having. Trying to talk to friends is not helping - they just think I should be over the marriage which I am but my son has a new family and it's not with me and I guess I feel like a failure in that area.

I don't want my feelings to be a negative thing for son hence my post but thanks for the help I will look into that as I said not many people to talk to.

 

[SamanthaJay]

You can ask for a mental health plan from your GP for counselling. I saw a psychologist for 6 visits through the mental health plan. My ex was extremely abusive and the sessions really helped me see the cycle of abuse, deal with the guilt of staying and leaving (especially in relation to my kids) and just generally move on with my life.

Before I had the sessions, I was too scared to dare attempt a financial settlement. I honestly thought he'd kill me. Well I still think he will given the chance but I learnt strategies to deal with all of these things and to pretty much stop needing to look over my shoulder every minute of the day.

 

[nat 2015]

Yeah. it's a tough one. Since I left, my ex has had countless women in his life, one has managed to hang around (poor thing). I have 3 teenage boys and a 2yr old girl. I am focusing on raising them to be respectful towards women. It's tough while they witness their father's behaviour all I can do is make sure that they know they an speak to me about anything, keeping the communication open and honest is important. Of course you are going to feel the way you are, but try and look at it like your son has another person who loves him and can care for him.

Positive for me has been my ex is not harassing me as much as he use too over petty crap. Good luck

 

[thatbloke]

yeah its a tough one

It's not a tough one at all. I don't give a toss who my ex is with, she can be with Queen Latifah for all I care..... Not caring is a perk of having an ex