VIC Going to Mediation - What to Expect?

[MelbourneDad]

I have just had my first mediation session this week. Be prepared for the mediators to have no opinion and only try and make the two parties work out an outcome no matter how ludicrous. My ex was saying 100% custody her way, mediator was saying how can we work towards a good solution. (I am aiming for 50/50).

It will be a good fact finding situation and you will be able to see where the other party stands and work out if you need to go to court or not.

Having said that, you must consider your partners son is the most important person in this whole situation. You may want to consider asking for a child counselor to be part of this process. They are experts in helping children cope. The last thing you would want is to drive his son away and have resentment. You would also find out how he feels about having his father around in an impartial setting rather than the mothers views. Just a thought.

 

[Anon_ymous]

I have just had my first mediation session this week. Be prepared for the mediators to have no opinion and only try and make the two parties work out an outcome no matter how ludicrous. My ex was saying 100% custody her way, mediator was saying how can we work towards a good solution. (I am aiming for 50/50).

It will be a good fact finding situation and you will be able to see where the other party stands and work out if you need to go to court or not.

Having said that, you must consider your partners son is the most important person in this whole situation. You may want to consider asking for a child counselor to be part of this process. They are experts in helping children cope. The last thing you would want is to drive his son away and have resentment. You would also find out how he feels about having his father around in an impartial setting rather than the mothers views. Just a thought.

Thank you for the help. If you don't mind me asking. Did you have a list of proposals before you went in? Will the mediation provide any input at all to either party? Did you use a lawyer beforehand?

Now that I have my head more around it, we actually sat down before and wrote down what we are hoping for but with his sons best interest as the focus but also with consideration for the mother.

We actually wrote down to suggest a child counselor and also the use of a child contact centre that will help with the process given it's been so long since they've seen each other. That is fingers crossed we can negotiate something.

I have read different things about what is appropriate for age so we aren't sure what to use as a guide for timelines in terms of how many supervised visits before he moves to more day to day activity type stuff with us and his siblings.

 

[Anon_ymous]

Not that my partner will include that specifically, more just to outline a progression in contact and building the relationship

 

[MelbourneDad]

My only goal going in was to work out a workable solution for him spending time with me. Ideally I was looking for 50/50 but it didn't work out.

As for a plan, remember every child is different. I think a counselor is a great idea as they can help you gauge with an objective but informed view the best way forward.