SA Partner has no access to son. Mother ignoring all contact and mediation.

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23 September 2020
Okay so. My partner found out he has a son from a one night stand before we were together. He had no idea until a friend of the mother's sent a Facebook msg to him out of the blue stating that he has a son. That he is in danger and being neglected. Partner contacted the mother to organise a DNA test which he also paid for and she was reluctant and acted immature saying that she doesn't want her kid taken away. Anyway, she agreed. Partner has been involved for 5 months and he is clearly being neglected and she is around drug addicts, moving around from women's shelter to shelter because she doesn't want to work. Would rather spend her dole money on tattoos and clothes for herself rather than feed her child. Whole range of issues. My partner has been sending him home every week with a week's worth of food warm clothes nappies everything and she hasn't had to spend a cent since he came into the picture. Her mother called one night and wanted us to go for full custody because her new girlfriend (apparently she's gay now) has been convicted of gang r**e and kidnapping, also a meth addict. Us along with a huge amount of others have filed DCP reports, requested welfare checks, nothing has been done. Partner has tried to have multiple civil conversation s about all of this and their son's future. What her plans are for him ie how she is going to provide for him when she's pregnant again with another one night stand (he didn't say it like that). She attacked him and waited until he left then messaged him saying he is not to see him anymore until court. Then she changed her mind when she needed him to look after son for the weekend. Things got so bad we ended up withholding him because he was showing signs of neglect and kept coming back filthy in clothes that were rags in winter, she never takes him to the docs and he has "fallen on his face" twice and busted his two front teeth and lip. Once we withheld him only because we had genuine concerns for his safety. Partner took him 2 days later in good faith to see his mum. She locked herself in the bedroom with their son and police were called. Partner called them because she was suicidal and wouldn't come out. Because there are no parenting orders in place the police said whoever he is physically being held by he gets to stay with. Partner had organised mediation beforehand and she is now just actively ignoring them, blocked his number and my partner hasn't seen him in a month. She won't even have a conversation. How the can this even happen? Whats the next step and what happens if she just keeps ignoring everything? Then what? She just calls all the shots and partner and son misses out on a relationship with each other and he stays in this environment? What a failure. 😞


Well-Known Member
27 September 2015
get court orders. Continue with the mediation. You need proof that you tried mediation. So keep going with that one... Then apply to court.

If you're still in contact with maternal grandma - have a chat. Ask police to do a welfare check.
If by chance mum gives access, get the kid to a doctor or two if need be and see if the doctor will make a DCP referral and advise you to keep the kid. Like the cops said, whoever the child is physically being held by he gets to stay with. BE THAT person...