VIC Going to Mediation - What to Expect?

Australia's #1 for Law
Join 150,000 Australians every month. Ask a question, respond to a question and better understand the law today!
FREE - Join Now

Anon_ymous

Well-Known Member
27 July 2018
55
0
196
I am looking for some help. I'm not sure how much detail to include/what is relevant so, happy to answer any questions.

Situation is;

My partner has initiated meditation to see his now 9-year-old son. He hasn't seen him since around 3-year-old, however we have been sending gifts for 2.5 years for birthdays, Christmas etc

Mother and my partner were never in a relationship, son was conceived of a one time encounter, so no real other relationship issues to consider.

My partner wasn't notified when she was pregnant or about his son for sometime after the birth. He did see his son but ceased doing this as he was receiving harassment from the mothers family and friends (just messages and minor vandalism).

He did not do anything about the above. He wanted to have a relationship with his son, separate from the mother, which she wasn't keen on.

I have spoken with her about sending gifts (I thought it might be a good idea to be friendly with her, maybe help her feel at ease about the idea of him spending time with us) and she said it was fine as long as we mark the presents are from us. As up to know that part has been fine.

Partner told her in Jan we wanted to make arrangements to see him (I have also let her know this 3 years ago and again last year, each time she asks to meet and chat and then just wont respond) which she said she will get her lawyer to send something and get it started.

So far we have only received a letter from her lawyers threatening an IVO - We are not to communicate with her or the son, or send any further gifts. We were advised the gifts have been unsolicited and 'out of the blue' and that given this, it is confusing for the son.

She has told me before she doesn't want my partner and my children both there with the son whilst my partner builds a relationship with his son. Our children are still only quite young.

Considering the above, and his age, what can we expect?

We would like at least once a week, same day. Is hoping for an overnight unrealistic?

I would need to facilitate pick ups and drop offs due to my partners work. We also want our children to be able to spend quality time together.

My partner doesn't want her involved in their time together but happy for a mutual party or possibly her mother, if it makes his son more comfortable whilst they are reintroduced.
 

Rod

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
27 May 2014
7,726
1,056
2,894
www.hutchinsonlegal.com.au
Your partner needs to commence mediation and obtain a 60I certificate when it fails, then start court proceedings for a parenting plan.
 

Anon_ymous

Well-Known Member
27 July 2018
55
0
196
Thanks Rod. He has his appointment soon. We were hoping to be able to agree at mediation. Do you think it is better to end up at court? I know we probably can't afford a lawyer for that.
 

Rod

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
27 May 2014
7,726
1,056
2,894
www.hutchinsonlegal.com.au
It is better to agree at mediation if you can. Probably need to approach it with a schedule that changes over time.

Just based on what you describe I don't like your chances but you have to try.

You can DIY family law but it will be stressful and stretch your patience and relationship. So trade off - lawyer -> simpler, less stress but costly. Versus DIY -> stressful, uncertain, lots to learn, but cheaper.
 

Anon_ymous

Well-Known Member
27 July 2018
55
0
196
Ah, I see.

So in the plan could be something like, initially my partner will see him at a park with one of the kids or otherwise. Then meet me after however long. Then start a one day/night a week, etc.

Do you know how long a time frame the plan allows for? Is there a limit on it?

I'm waiting for the lawyer to respond back from the information they requested. We will use them for sure for mediation, just hoping to not go to court.

Just want to see his son, it just makes me so sad that the kids are missing out. I hope it doesn't end up being lengthy.
 

Rod

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
27 May 2014
7,726
1,056
2,894
www.hutchinsonlegal.com.au
Your lawyer should be advising you on how to structure a parenting plan.

FYI, I'd not mention meeting you or your children. What your partner does should be his business and none of his ex's business. But if it mollifies the ex and you get the result you want it is worth considering.
 

Anon_ymous

Well-Known Member
27 July 2018
55
0
196
I hope the lawyer comes back to us soon as it commences in a week. So we don't need to be telling her about him spending time with all of us when my partner has his time with his son? Am I understanding?

I thought we would mention only to put her mind at ease with a plan in place because I thought she might come to the table with something like, she doesn't want the son meeting his siblings.

What about being picked up from school for example. If my partner aimed for every Friday but didn't finish work until after school time, would I be allowed to collect?

Is it something that is up to the mother? Or is it a legal issue as legally I have no rights?
 

Rod

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
27 May 2014
7,726
1,056
2,894
www.hutchinsonlegal.com.au
So we don't need to be telling her about him spending time with all of us when my partner has his time with his son? Am I understanding?

In theory - yes. If it was a court order there is almost no chance of her receiving an order saying for you to stay away unless you have been proven to be dangerous to her son. In a mediation setting things are a little different and you may agree to things you would not agree to in a court setting, just to get a mediated agreement over the line.

Sometimes less detail is better :)
 

Anon_ymous

Well-Known Member
27 July 2018
55
0
196
Thank you, I've been looking at it all wrong.

Looked up some examples of parenting plans. Now we have a better idea of what they include and how it's worded.

Any reccomended resources to help with appropriate reintroduction for his age? Or guides as to how much access per week, etc? Do you know how this is determined?

Will it just be what his mother recommended and what can be agreed to? Or are professionals involved?
 

Rod

Lawyer
LawConnect (LawTap) Verified
27 May 2014
7,726
1,056
2,894
www.hutchinsonlegal.com.au
Sorry, I don't have this level of detail.