NSW Ex-partner Repeatedly Threatening to Contact My Girlfriend - Restraining Order?

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Andy Mann

23 September 2019
Morning everyone, let me explain.

My ex lives approx. 2 hours away from me and we have been co-parenting as per a private legal agreement. I have 2 children, 13 & 11 years old and she has her own older son who is 25 years of age. I was caring for the kids at our house which I've agreed to give to her because I'm generous and also I didn't want to upset the kids too much as they are both on the autism spectrum, but both in mainstream school and are, in fact, doing better at school than "normal" kids.

Anyway, yesterday, I had an argument with her son. Nothing violent but just told a few home truths about him, such as all he does is play video games all night and sleep all day... Yes, what a role model right?

I myself have Aspergers and it was diagnosed when I applied to the Australian Army in 2001 which I served for 7 years. I also hold a pilots licence, so as you can see, I was able to adapt and overcome things in my way. I hold a full-time job so, despite the fact I have this, it has never precluded me from having a normal life because I have had to "learn" everything that normal people just know.

Anyway, because I told him what I honestly thought of him, he rang his mother stating and demanding "get this man out of the house". I wasn't aggressive or angry but honest that he is wasting his life and I will not stand by and watch my boys waste their lives in a virtual world and not relate to the real world. As a result, my ex was screaming down the phone at me, swearing, calling me names and threatening to directly contact my current girlfriend.

She wouldn't hang up the phone until she knew I was gone from the premises and her son threw my Father's Day mug I got a number of years ago at me and smashed and then I forgot I left some of my groceries. He threw them out the front door at me smashing the glass bottles, etc and fresh vegetables everywhere.

The reason I'm concerned is that she has the ways and means to do this is, she is an ex-federal police and able "to pull strings" to gain access to my information and monitor everything I do. She has text me proof of my girlfriend's phone number and has vowed to ruin any relationship I have.

Please help me. I'm totally lost. She has friends who are in the judicial system and the dice are well and truly loaded against me. How can I prevent her from threatening to contact my girlfriend who I have now been with for 9 months and everything is great?

I know this is probably unique circumstances but I'll also let you know due to this legal agreement, I pay $1000 per fortnight child support and also $180 per fortnight for my son's private schooling as I'm doing the right thing by them.

Please help me. This is causing me so much distress and anxiety by her threats all the time. I just want to get on with my life and be able to enjoy it with both her and my boys, I shouldn't have to choose. Please help with what I can do. I don't know where else to turn.

I see no one has answered me yet. Do I take out a restraining order forbidding her to make any contact or interfere with my life or possessions or privacy?

I need help, please! I'm not able to sleep for fear of phone calls in the middle of the night and she now won't even let me have my kids down to my home for the first week of school holidays going back on what we agreed to verbally...

So yet again my kids suffer as I can tell you the only thing they will do the entire school holidays is be planted in front of an Xbox or PS4 and do nothing else!!! They are wasting their life away and I'm fearful of their future I really am. At least when they are down with me we go out and do outings etc. I need help, please!


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27 May 2014