QLD Dealing with Vindictive Ex in Family Court?

[Frustrated16]

After anyone who has experienced anything like this,

Ok, so I have been with my partner for 5 months and in that 5 months I have had to deal with his ex. They have 2 children together and have had a rocky past. He has admitted to retaliating on about 3-4 occasions out of an 8-year relationship which he regrets but weren't serious but because of the past dealings, which really were mainly damage to minor property from both parties, but has admitted to pushing her away by the throat 6 years ago and only for a second and throwing a small object at her.

She accused him of head butting which did not happen but because she is just one of those spiteful people who wanted to make sure she had him by the balls. Now, since him and I have been together, she has gone all crazy; texts messages of details of their past to me, voice messages from one day when I dropped there kids off (I stayed in the car he delivered the children) - the voice messages were very verbal and minor threats plus the children were around her. One voice message you can hear that.

Anyway, she has sent emails of insults towards me, him and my son who is 3 and has become that desperate to even leave a voice recording stating that he is fking her and me, her during the day and me during the night (I drive him to and from work well over 30k away so I found this message very desperate and pathetic). Anyway, she constantly degrades him, bosses him, etc, etc. His son stated something to my partner which caused him, out of anger, to go around to the ex's house. Unfortunately, he was drunk but he went there to confront her about what was said (really disturbing statement) and her boyfriend exposed his genitals and pulled a chainsaw on him.

He left, went through dui charges, etc, but she is trying to upgrade a DVO that was made out of spite and control so we have put one on her, which was a temporary one that got ordered yesterday so they both have one on each other and it's going to trial. Unfortunately, we are unsure if we will have legal aid or not.

I have witnessed her assault him verbally, mentally and physically and she has even stalked me at one stage, she has a crack dealer living with her and she is addicted to it to (unfortunately not a lot of proof, only what he has witnessed). I'm in the process of writing my affidavit and his will be next. What are we expecting in family court?

What would be the procedure on the day and is there any real way to prove jealousy? We have texts, emails, voice calls and indirect Facebook posts. Oh, she also posted an intimate photo of my partner and her on her Facebook when she got her temporary order accepted 2 weeks ago.

 

[sammy01]

Ok, so you're dealing with a crazy person - two: the partner's ex and your partner. See craziness is infectious. Be careful or you will get infected too.

You're probably not gonna take my opinion but here goes:

Do nothing - he needs to do nothing, too. Forget legal advice - get psychological advice to learn how to deal with her.

So let's check the scorer board.

Him and you - DUI / AVO, bosses him, insults you, her new boyfriend threatens him with a chain saw.

Her and her new fella - interim AVO that will probably get dropped.

She is not just winning, she is kicking your arse...Sorry

She is baiting you guys. She is winning and she is getting more points every time because you guys are stupid enough to respond. Now there is a whole lot of tough love in what I write - but I reckon the opinion is important. Your partner is one mistake away from jail and the ex would love that.

I would love to have suggested that you should not apply for an AVO - waste of time, but too late for that.

 

[sammy01]

Rant number two - sorry didn't get to finish the last one.

So, maybe the judge will grant the AVO. Probably not, though, but you don't need legal representation. The cops will sort that. You guys just need to attend.

So let's pretend it gets granted. She might use it as grounds to stop him seeing the kids based on some crazy logic about the AVO stopping her from being near enough to him to deliver them because the AVO will have some sort of no contact rule or she will breach the AVO, the cops will do nothing and she will learn that she can get away with it. Not much fun.

Or worse, it gets thrown out of court. What does she learn from this? That she can get away with crazy behaviour. The the flood gates will really open on madness. Even less fun.

So you guys have to learn to be completely ambivalent to crazy. Learn to never ever respond. Things will get worse before they get better because it will upset her that you're not responding to her provocations. So she will try harder. Eventually, (in my case after 3 years) she will give up and find something else to tease and annoy, but while you continue to play her game you will continue to lose., but the legal system will not help you.