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appleton

Well-Known Member
24 November 2019
32
1
129
Hi everyone,
Its been over a year I think since I last posted a query! In that time, step-son and his mother relocated to the same state about 2 hours drive away and we have had an 'every other weekend' and Christmas holiday arrangement. The child will commence school this year, and his father (my partner) who previous had limited employment, has joined the military and will be away for months training and then could be posted anywhere...

Consent orders were undertaken as part of the separation, however they are very pitiful; child lives with mother and spends time with father as agreed.

With partners departure, his ex change the % of care to 100/0 and requested a parenting plan. As the document consisted of matters relating to financial payments only, it was returned to her with notes/questions for discussion. She obviously expected that this would be agreed to, and has now advised that she will not allow any further communication or visitation with the child unless he agrees to what she proposed.
- father is currently paying 3 x CS assessment amount via private payments. He has also paid the school fees (public) and school uniform, as well as general items when req
- she has refused to add father to school enrollment
- she has advised that she will not attend mediation
- child is struggling with the separation from his father and have been advised that he has been clinical diagnosed with anxiety and separation issues requiring specialist appointments. Mother has refused to provide any information on the required treatment (and apparent diagnosis), refuses to allow father to be included in the 'treatment plan' and is demanding that father pays the invoices (ATM)
- she has referred to her mental health a number of times in text messages/emails
- we are growing increasingly concerned with some of the comments that the child makes, they are quite disturbing an unnatural for a child of that age, including comments of harm/injury that the mother is claiming against the father
- father is happy to enter into parenting plan/consent orders, but not ones that strongly favour the mothers financial demands, and make no allowance for father/child to have a meaningful relationship
We've had enough of the constant threats and claims of "financial control" and would like to now have all matters formalised through consent or court orders and payments through the CSA.
- He advised her that direct payments will stop in a months time, giving notice so arrangements for CS collect can be made
- He is happy to continue paying her the higher amount, however CS advised they can only take the assessment amount. CS provided documents for a COA or a limited financial agreement to have it changed.
- He will book mediation and share draft parenting orders for consideration. It will include visitation information that may require interstate travel (if relocated)


By outlining our current situation, I am hoping to get general advice or thoughts on suggested next steps - or cautions for our approach. We are of the understanding that this will end up in court, but believe that this is where the best outcome/resolution will be achieved. We hope to self rep as much as possible.

Your thoughts, comments are greatly appreciated, thank you.