Interim orders over status quo

[malcolm_smith]

Hi,

first time poster.

I am applying for orders and as I understand it the court will most likely order the 'status quo' to be in effect. For two years the children stayed with me for five nights a fortnight, and spent time with my on a day on the alternate week, not over night. Effectively six nights, except I'd take them home on the sixth night.

some months ago the mother made immediate changes in our parenting plan reducing the amount of time my children spend with me. she interfered with our holiday arrangements in the first term holidays and took the children away turning her phone off so I couldn't contact them. She has interfered with my time with the children on multiple occasions, disallowing them to stay with me unless I provided evidence that I had no guests staying (I was hosting airbnb at the time), and even after being served and notified of our coming court date has once more interfered with the children's time with me and is currently preventing them from having overnight stays with me. Requiring me to make statutory declarations that I have no guests staying with me, even though I stopped airbnbing twelve months ago.

One child has a medical condition the mother will not treat as she is an alternative medicine practitioner and does not agree with western medicine. If not treated appropriately his condition worsens, and since he hasn't been in my care as much it has worsened considerably.

Regarding conflict, we don't so much have conflict, more so that the mother just resents me and holds me in contempt over some other issues. I have always demonstrated that I have wanted to work things out, been respectful in my communications, and invited her to mediation and counselling. We do have conflict over the treatment of the medical conditions.

Are there any suggestions on arguments I can make to have the court order the final orders implemented, rather than revert to our status quo of five nights with a day on the alternate week?

 

[Rod]

What is your prefered outcome, ignoring current circumstances and parenting plan? Is the parenting plan a mutual agreement or consent orders through court?

 

[malcolm_smith]

mutual agreement would be brilliant however the mother is not at all willing to shift her position. There is a pattern of attempts to alienate me.

I have applied to the courts for a parenting order. the children's mother has refused to come to mediation.

at the start of this year she had her lawyer draft two parenting plans and invited me to meet with her outside of mediation, however, without scope for any variation. An argument over another matter ensued and she in turn had the lawyer post the two plans two me asking me to choose. I responded saying that they were both unacceptable as they held within them a very restrictive and prohibitive 'right of refusal' item and were extremely imbalanced giving the children less time with me during holidays, and requiring me to do all of the pick ups and drop offs.

after replying that I couldn't agree she upped the ante on the alienation, and in turn fired her lawyer because I didn't agree to the plans. even firing the lawyer was my fault.

 

[thatbloke]

So is she represented now?

 

[malcolm_smith]

she says she is doing all her own correspondence but will have representation on the date.

it was better when she had a lawyer. at least they were reasonable to speak with and sort things out.

 

[thatbloke]

Well you should treat her exactly how you would a lawyer then. If she thinks that being self represented means you can ignore reasonable communications she is in for a big shock.

Keep communications to a minimum. Keep them to the point and build up a pattern of her being obstructive and non facilitating

Unless it is court ordered you do not have to any stat decs to anyone whatsoever about anything and if she really is relying on traditional medicine at the expense of proper medical treatment then your notice of risk should reflect that.

That will not win her any brownie points in court I can tell you. It's ok to use traditional medicine say but not at the expense of other treatments. Personally I would get her to express this kind of view to the court as quickly as possible by whatever means you can

Unreasonable parents making unreasonable requests tend to be picked pretty quickly when the other person is being reasonable

By now you probably realise parenting plans are not worth the paper they are written on

 

[sammy01]

are you seeking orders pertaining to the medical condition?

When did you see the kids last?

 

[Rod]

This is a situation where you would likely benefit from real legal advice. Need to get your paperwork in order and have a list of questions ready for examination.

 

[malcolm_smith]

yes, orders that she not substitute any prescribed treatment unless permitted by myself, gp, or specialists.

I wrote the orders myself so I hope I haven't botched them. My notice of risk was fairly basic, simply stated that she isn't using the prescribed treatment rather than that she is also experimenting with home made concoctions.

I've seen them once in the last week, am due to see them again this week, was due to have them next weekend for the entire weekend but she has turned around and said I can't see them due it being their best interests with the impending court action. her logic is very fuzzy.

I'm going with the path of least resistance and avoiding conflict. alternatively she'll create a scene and make things more difficult.

 

[malcolm_smith]

Personally I would get her to express this kind of view to the court as quickly as possible by whatever means you can

she has expressed in text messages to me that she is utilising alternative treatments. How would I get her to express that kind of view to the court? She's not a complete idiot. She will most likely have her documents prepared by a Lawyer and they will surely advise her to back away from the subject.