VIC Visitation/access, family court, expectations

[Anon_ymous]

Have posted previously so wont go into great detail on the back story.

No previous relationship between parties.
Dad ceased contact at around 2-3 years age
Child is 9
Had been requesting to see child for some time would not be facilitated by mother (approx 4 years)
Mediation attended around a year ago.
Plan agreed by parties for reintroduction then cancelled prior by mother via lawyer.
All contact advised to be directed to lawyer.
1 year communicating to lawyer in request of reintroduction etc. Almost no response from mother. Court application prepared but not applied as yet.
Contact made directly to mother have been able to now see child as instructed at after school activities and not outside of this as yet.
Question:
Mother not allowing introduction of sibling as yet has advised will consult her lawyer and childs psychologist in regards to this.
Based on peoples knowledge and experience, what is reasonable in these circumstances?
What would a lawyer be suggesting to her regarding this?
Mother has invited father to apply to court.

 

[sammy01]

apply to court. As it stands the mother is the boss. The mother gives a few crumbs but basically not much. This situation isn't gonna change. But in court the mother is not the boss. The judge is... And once confronted with that reality, the mother just might start throwing you a few more crumbs...

A thought - does the mother need a psychologist approval for the kid to go to the dentist? have a photo with santa? So what possible harm will come from meeting a step-sibling? The mother is stalling. Get to court asap and stop trying to dance around the whims of the mother.

 

[Anon_ymous]

apply to court. As it stands the mother is the boss. The mother gives a few crumbs but basically not much. This situation isn't gonna change. But in court the mother is not the boss. The judge is... And once confronted with that reality, the mother just might start throwing you a few more crumbs...

A thought - does the mother need a psychologist approval for the kid to go to the dentist? have a photo with santa? So what possible harm will come from meeting a step-sibling? The mother is stalling. Get to court asap and stop trying to dance around the whims of the mother.

Thanks Sammy, always appreciate your advice.
Have been back and forth about court application.
Just want what is best for the child, are happy to go at the childs pace so to speak so were hesitant in going to court to enforce something, if that makes sense (I know seems like we are silly).
Did not know the child had a psychologist so now are wondering if the child is 'ok', emotionally - unsure as to why mum has sought this and continues to be so restrictive and concerned regarding the childs ability to cope.
Mum indicated that dad would not be getting a better deal out of court, can only assume this is based on the advice of the lawyer and psychologist.

 

[sammy01]

mum is bluffing.
We're talking about a 9 yr old child. For goodness sakes, a kid that age would routinely have sleep over's at other people's houses where they are introduced to a range of different people.

Child is seeing a psychologist? Mum should be informing dad about the reasons for this treatment and any progress. Seems just as likely mum is looking for obstacles to stop visits.

If mum is not prepared to give GOOD reasons - backed up by medical professionals / psychologists? then overnights should be happening. Extended visits 8-10 hours every other weekend leading up to overnights. If the kid can't cope it is more likely because mum is causing the kid to feel anxiety over the visits rather than something coming directly from the child...

 

[Atticus]

My thoughts... I agree with sammy01 that this is just stalling tactics and bluff...

Unless the mother can bring forward some actual specific allegations, backed up by some evidence that the father is a threat of either physical or psychological harm, then IMO the courts view would be that a relationship between child and father SHOULD be established and maintained.

Without evidence to the contrary, and based on the courts default position that EVERY child has the right and BENEFITS from a relationship with BOTH parents, then I believe it could be argued that further delays is causing more psychological harm then regular visits would... As pointed out, we are talking about a 9 yo. That is a lot different then perhaps a 2 yo..

 

[Anon_ymous]

No concerns whatsoever with dad.
Also are aware that court isnt necessarily going to change her behavior, could make it worse and then dad loses time with his kid.
Why would a lawyer reccomend counseling for a 9 year old with the reasoning behind it being as a precautionary of the matter going to court?

 

[Atticus]

Also are aware that court isnt necessarily going to change her behavior, could make it worse and then dad loses time with his kid.

Seems to me that dad is barely seeing the child as is. When a court application is actually filed ,things will get real..Interim orders should also be sought at the same time. If there are no concerns as you say, then orders for regular and progressive visitation should be implemented. It as as I have said, the courts default position that the child has the right to a meaningful relationship with both parents... If she then ignores court orders, there are consequences that can flow from that. Currently there are zero consequences for her denying the child a relationship with dad

Why would a lawyer recommend counseling for a 9 year old with the reasoning behind it being as a precautionary of the matter going to court?

I assume it's her lawyer making this suggestion?.. Just more stalling IMO